5 days no contact with 10 year old (school trip)

[embarrassedabout]

DC (10) is going on a school trip, Monday- Friday.
We've been advised they're not allowed mobile phones but have been given a mobile number to contact in case of emergency, school also have our contact details of course. We've been told they discourage the kids to contact us if they ask as they want the kids to get on and have a good time, contacting home may make them homesick and they can't have 90 odd kids all making calls home etc. I understand what they mean, but I think 4 nights/5 days is too long to not see or speak to my child, especially baring my mind the kids are only 10, some just turned 11. Just wondering what other people's opinions were on this?

Your are being silly, my seven year old went on camp for six nights no contact. And two night age six.

I personally just feel like it's such a long time to not see/speak to my child. She seems way too little

Ah, OP, time flies, doesn’t it? Almost done with primary school and I’m sure it feels like reception was last week!

But as you’ve recognised, this is about your feelings and worries: you’ll miss her, you’re worried she’ll miss you etc.

I think nearly everyone I know who’s been worried about the residential (for really good reasons) has ended up with their child having a brilliant time and it being the start of them feeling more confident and independent overall.

Agree it’s good for children but reminded me that, years ago, parents were not allowed to visit their children in hospital because “it just upset them”.

I've run kid's residentially for similarly aged children. It is difficult because kids do get upset at bedtime, it's when they're quiet and things are different to home and it's when they remember their family, their own bed, pets etc. During the day, they're so busy they don't think so much about it. What happens is that kids have phones, they ring home and our leaders don't know anything about the call. The kids get upset speaking to their parents, their parents get upset because it always sounds worse when you only hear the upset at night and are miles away. It's much better for us as leaders to deal with it in the evening, facilitate a call home during the day when the kid is full of fun things to share as well as any night time difficulties. It gives a balance to any conversation and leaders are fully aware, and can support the child. The worst is getting a call from a parent, who's had a call from their child and we don't know anything about it.

We find that 'banning' mobiles, is a much better way to support homesick children and give parents an accurate view of how upset their child is based on the whole day, not just in the last few minutes before bed through the eyes of an 11yo. Leaders support in the homesick moment, can check in on the child during the night if necessary, be ready to be woken in the night if necessary and support during the next day too.

But yes, it is hard for parents (I'll be one in July when DD goes off on her Y6 residential).

Oh and we have had some kids go home because they've been so upset. We definitely don't ban speaking to parents, but it's done in a controlled, organised manner with leaders available/nearby. It might involve several calls both with/without the child. Parents can also contact us at any time for an update on their child too. We definitely value communication with parents.

Totally normal. And good for your kid too.

She will be fine and any pangs of homesickness will disappear in a couple of days. I still remember my residential trip...in 1978 aged 11. We went to Devon/Cornwall border. Obviously in those days there were no mobiles. I sent DM a postcard from Clovelly. In fact I have been reminiscing with old school friends on fb recently.

My sons first residential he was 7.. 5 days NC.. Then many with cubs.

It doesn't hurt them

Posted too soon.

It doesn't hurt them. Probably hurts us more. It's really good for them.

Very normal and also healthy. DD had her first trip when she was just 9, 4days/3nights beginning of Y5.

They were so exited, it was a bit strange but the school posted daily updates of their schedule and some photos of the activities.

Hardly anyone got homesick. They are kept far too busy to feel it and it makes them very independent as well.

DD (12 now) has been off various times with school, Scout holiday and even a residential holiday at a riding Center and we never had any issues and she definitely never felt the need to contact us.