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Original poster

5 days no contact with 10 year old (school trip)

61 replies

embarrassedabout · 17/10/2019 11:27

DC (10) is going on a school trip, Monday- Friday.
We've been advised they're not allowed mobile phones but have been given a mobile number to contact in case of emergency, school also have our contact details of course. We've been told they discourage the kids to contact us if they ask as they want the kids to get on and have a good time, contacting home may make them homesick and they can't have 90 odd kids all making calls home etc. I understand what they mean, but I think 4 nights/5 days is too long to not see or speak to my child, especially baring my mind the kids are only 10, some just turned 11. Just wondering what other people's opinions were on this?

OP posts:
RolytheRhino · 17/10/2019 12:01

It'll be fine, honestly. I know these days we're used to being contactable 24/7 but it really is better that they're not reminding themselves of home by calling. My parents used the time to go on a short break themselves when I did this- could you maybe do something like that?

Moomin8 · 17/10/2019 12:05

Yeah, I think this is normal. My 10 year old dd went on a trip last month of exactly the same length and it was the same thing - no mobiles or phone calls etc.

I really missed her of course, but if you don't hear from school then you can assume that all is well. My daughter was fine when she came home. And 5 days will go quickly :)

Dandelion1993 · 17/10/2019 12:05

In an emergency you call the school other than that you don't need any contact.

You can ask your child how the trip went when they get back

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10 year olds Families
AllStarBySmashMouth · 17/10/2019 12:09

We did the same at my school about 15 years ago. Everyone was fine.

cheeserolls · 17/10/2019 12:20

Normal and better for kids.

I understand that often they are so busy on such trips they won't realise they miss parents until they see us again upon return.

Regardless of how you feel you need to be matter of fact and breezy about it or your child will be the one suffering because she's got the idea from you.

Encourage independence- it's only 4 nights and relish anticipating how great it will be when you are reunited and she can share stories with you.

Raphael34 · 17/10/2019 12:23

I’ve just had my 8 year old home after 5 days nc on a school trip. You’ve literally been told the children have a better time and suffer less homesickness if they can get on with the holiday without having to phone their parents. It might be your preference, but going from the teachers many experiences, it’s not the children’s

Mrsjayy · 17/10/2019 12:28

Every parent before you probably felt exactly the same when their child went on the school residential but it is fine you are allowed to miss them but they will be ok and if not the school will be in touch.

Walnutwhipster · 17/10/2019 12:35

Don't think about it as a full week. You'll see DC Monday Morning then again Friday teatime so that's only three days. Mine have always loved these trips and arrived home happy but exhausted.

Original poster
embarrassedabout · 17/10/2019 12:39

Thanks for all the kind replies.

I've not let her know how I'm feeling or said anything about it around her (hence posting on here, haven't spoken to anyone she knows incase she overhears or something) and have only said positive things about the trip. I've told her it's a week away with her best friends doing fun activities (plus she gets a break from the family Grin) which it is.

I do suffer from anxiety so I think that's probably not helping (knowing her, she'll miss home-she's the kind of child that prefers her friends sleeping round ours than vice versa- so that's making me more nervous). But it's good to hear that others children have gone and been fine despite them missing their kids.

OP posts:
dreichsky · 17/10/2019 12:44

Honestly this is all normal OP.
Both no contact with DC and parents feeling anxious about it.
Our school had a Twitter account so we got general photos which were lovely but no other contact.

LtJudyHopps · 17/10/2019 12:46

I remember my residential 15 years ago it was the best!
If it helps, it’s not a whole week or even 5 days NC. You’ll see her Monday morning, won’t speak to her for 3 days and then will see her Friday.

TeenPlusTwenties · 17/10/2019 12:46

When my DD2 went on her trip in y5 we were concerned she might not even make it onto the coach. She had only ever had 1 night away from me before (with a very trusted friend in prep for the trip).
The school looked after her well, and she had a great time and came back with increased confidence.
This will be a good experience for your DC, and for you. In secondary they might go abroad for a trip with teachers and pupils they no far less well, so good to practice now.

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 17/10/2019 12:47

I would feel exactly the same OP. I think a lot of it depends on the child. I've one who I wouldn't be nearly as worried about and another who I know for sure would be homesick to the point of not wanting to go in the first place, so I'd worry a lot about that DC! Like you I'd be very positive about the trip and fostering that sense of independence and confidence, but on the inside I'd be very anxious. And I don't suffer with any form of anxiety!

Sounds like you're doing everything you can to make it a happy and positive experience for your child and hopefully she'll have a fantastic time. If I were you I'd have plans to keep myself very busy for those 5 days as I think they'll go by quicker for her than you!

Comefromaway · 17/10/2019 12:49

Both of mine went on week long trips in Year 5. It never occured to us to question it (neither had a mobile anyway at that point). They were both fine.

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 17/10/2019 12:49

Also just to add we're not in UK so our kids don't go on any residential trips with school, which I'm sort of glad about! But I appreciate it is a great experience for them and is something that probably should be included in our curriculum.

CroissantsAtDawn · 17/10/2019 12:50

My 7 year old did 5 days 4 nights last year. It was fine. Some parents overreacted promising to drive and get them if necessary Hmm but the children were fine.

My poor DS had a migraine so the teacher called me and i spoke to him. I worried a lot that night but the lovely teacher texted a photo of him finally asleep and another of him smiling the next day.

She was aware of his migraines and had all his meds. These teachers know what they are doing and are fabulous.

birdsdestiny · 17/10/2019 12:52

Mine was away for 6 days in year 5, it did him the world of good in terms of confidence and independence. There were lots of photos on the school Twitter account which were really reassuring.

delilahbucket · 17/10/2019 12:56

Totally normal. I did it 20+ years ago, ds did it last year. Contact makes them homesick and really, you'll miss your child more than they will miss you. They'll be busy with their friends doing new and exciting things and being absolutely shattered, while you carry on the hum drum of life with too much thinking time on your hands. On ds's trip they all wrote postcards the day they arrived and then posted them home (they had to take a stamp). I thought that was a nice touch.

AuditAngel · 17/10/2019 12:59

Our primary is the same. Secondary is different, they are allowed t9 call, but have no interest, until the updates to collection time!

DS goes away with Police cadets and they request that if there are any problems at home (illness etc) we speak with staff so they can deal with the kids.

Having said that, when DS was upset at camp, they asked me if I would speak with him as they felt it would help. I offered to collect him, but encouraged him to stay. He chose to stay and staff sent me an update a little later that he was happy and settled after the call.

Kaykay06 · 17/10/2019 13:45

Mine both did the residential in p7; same rules no phones or contact and both had an amazing time and I don’t think missed me much at all.

If your child is happy to go and not feeling anxious or worried about being homesick then this is your issue and you shouldn’t put it on them. I’m sure your child will have an amazing time and come back with lots of stories about their adventures whilst away and lots of dirty washing for you. My second son gained loads of confidence during his, the teachers really supported him to challenge himself and he did all the things he was worried about before going and loved it all. I’ve still got 2 more sons to go and I hope they have an amazing time too.
It’s is hard them being away but worth it for the experience, many kids already go on cub/brownie/scout camps etc they all love the independence.

spiderlight · 17/10/2019 13:48

Our school did this from Y6. We had regular updates from the teachers though - we got a text at the end of most days just to confirm that everyone was fine and had fun kayaking/building a raft/whatever.

Quartz2208 · 17/10/2019 13:55

DD class just did it.

The kids are fine - its us as parents who suffer more - its is you who will find it difficult the kids adapt quickly. The school were very good in making sure they gave a little bit of information

It will be tough but you both will be fine

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/10/2019 13:58

It's completely normal and speaking to parents on the ph0ne usually fuels homesickness.

And don't be tempted to put a note in his bag too.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 17/10/2019 13:59

Perfectly normal and definitely for the best. You may think calling home helps with homesickness but it actually has the opposite effect!

LIZS · 17/10/2019 14:04

Perfectly normal. Dc both went abroad on a school exchange trip for a week at that age, no contact. Phones etc perpetuate homesickness. They will be fine.

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