To want DH to come home

[HermioneSnape42]

DH working away for the very first time in 27 years of us being together. I was totally against it from the start but as he’s self employed he basically said I need to go where the work is. He hasn’t had to up to now but I admit things are slow at the moment.
But typically after taking on this job he was inundated again. The usual thing with being self employed.

I have got progressively more annoyed as the date became closer. And he left Sunday night.

I want him to come home. I have anxiety and I’m Not coping tbh.

I’m up at 5am and not going to bed until after 11pm. I have insomnia so don’t sleep well generally but obviously it’s worse now I got 2 hours last night of broken sleep.

We have 4DC. 2 puppies. I’m at college and I have school runs, house work, dinners homework for the children and myself. It’s just too much. I can’t do it.

I’ve texted DH numerous times but he’s refusing and saying he’s committed and can’t come home.

I don’t know what to do. I’m seriously considering keeping the kids off school and college. Between them I’m travelling 3 hours a day to take and collect them.

Making it worse is DH is working in a pub in a secondary role. So is getting 3 meals a day cooked for him and is sitting having a drink with the other work men after 6pm when he’s finished for the day. Whilst I’m still doing housework or dinner or washing up or ironing uniforms. I feel he’s taking the piss tbh.

[foodname]

Well that's a personality thing, maybe you wouldn't, I can hand on heart say I would tell someone to get a grip in the OP's situation. I'd fluff it up of course, but it would be the crux of my point. But then my friends know my husband goes away for 4 months at a time (theirs do too) so they know full well what they'd get and I do too!

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

Posters change ages of DCs all the time to avoid being outed, I often change my DCs sex too, so I wouldn't read too much into previous threads.

That said, yes you do need to give your head a bit of a wobble OP and get help from your children. If getting to college takes three buses, fine, take him in the morning but let him make his own way back. Get the other kids on dinner duty, make it easy. And fgs stop texting your husband.

[Schuyler]

I would tell a good friend kindly if they needed to get a grip. I’ve had someone say it to me only last week. It was with genuine care and I did need to get a grip. I was being ridiculous and I’m glad I have people in my life who are prepared to tell me honestly.

[paxillin]

Tell the 17 year old to take the three buses from tomorrow. Spend a couple of days teaching the 12 year old how to get to school alone.

I cannot think of a chore that 12 and 17 year olds cannot do in the household, so hand the ironing over unless the 12 year old is very clumsy, in which case do his/her school shirt yourself.

This leaves you with the two puppies to take care of. Whose idea were two puppies, the kids'? Hand responsibility over. Yours? You will need to do it then. Take turns with the adult kids to cook, 12 and 17 year old can do dishes and tidy.

[raspberryk]

Yup I've told friends they bed to pull up their big girl/boy pants/get a grip/be realistic. That is what good friends are for.
Mumsnet is good because you get people a honest opinions. There isn't any need to sugar cost for adults.

[theretheirtheyrenotno]

YAB totally U

You say it's anxiety but it sounds like you're jealous and upset about the workload.

When you have four children and two puppies l, they're expensive and hard work but you had choices!