Don’t really want to return to work, but want more money

[Lardlizard]

For extra luxury’s in life

I don’t know if I’m lazy or this is normal to feel this way

Youngest started school last sept so he’s all settled
Since he’s been at school I’ve been doing charity work which I enjoy
Dh works a v stressful job and long hours
So I suppose I’m concerned about being the one that’s run ragged as I’ll still end up doing everything relayed to the kids and way. Ore than half at home
Dh doesn’t want to change jobs Or anything his job requires long hours

I set up a business when my youngest was four months and eldest was 22 months. I worked in the evenings when they were alseep and then out dd2 in childcare at 9 months. It's grown so much my DH quit his job and set up his own business too whilst I supported us all for a year.

Yes it's hard, yes I rarely have time for me (I make sure I workout though) and sometimes I wonder WTF am I doing?! But I love the chaos of my life.

You keep talking about kids being sick, is that often? And holidays ... can you look at holiday clubs?

If it helps I took my kids to Disney world last year ... just under two years after after I set my business up

if/when i return to work i will be paying a cleaner and others potentially as there's no way I'm being the maid if I'm out to work too! so's capacity to help around the house has no prospect of improving and i'd rather be at work than the family skivvy.

OP, please think about your own financial security. What, say, if your dh went off with someone? If you're young enough, you'd be expected to maximise your earnings potential. You really do need to keep your hand in the door of resuming work. Trust me, as someone who thought her dh would behave morally yet who found love letters to a 27 year old PhD student. Meanwhile, I was looking after the children and supporting his career. You need to make sure all eventualities are covered.

Tbh I’m really not that worried about that, you can’t worry about every single thing that could go wrong in life, could get a hideous illness at any moment
You just have to make changes if the time comes
Also could move three miles from here same size house no mortgage and then some so I’m not majorly worried about that

But I am thinking of starting the business perhaps a bit earlier than I planned

I have 4 children with a 5th on the way am the breadwinner and also manage to have flexibility in my job so pretty much DH and I contribute 50% to children and house jobs etc. DH job is still v important though.

I also work with alotnof men who have the hobby job wife or sahm etc ....I agree with comments about men always seeming to have these inflexible roles that require the partner to do all the grunt work. Is bull shite in my field

At the time I left my previous role when mat leave ended, I actually earned more than my dh
He wasn’t interested at all in going part time and certainly not being a full time dad for the early years

The possibility of a hideous illness at any moment is one of the best reasons not to put all your financial eggs in one basket though!

What's the business OP? Could it be started on a small scale.

A PP said Organising the lives of two young children is incompatible with this [part time work combined with long hours inflexible partner]

It's really not. An enormous number of people manage this with various solutions. Schools usually have breakfast and after-school clubs. Childminders. Holiday clubs. Grandparents.

If you can only do part-time because all the housework/childcare will fall to you due to DPs long hours then chances are you can afford to pay for that. And it's a long term investment in your own future too, even if the net increase in family income isn't huge to start with.

Yeah anything an happen and does but you can always cross that bridge IF and it’s a big if you do come to it