I can’t calm down before op tomorrow

[naericht]

I’m having an op tomorrow morning, very minor to be honest - it’s just for diagnosis of interstitial cystitis and a bladder/tubes stretch ... I’m not good with hospitals at all as a patient, I’m a dreadful worrier .

I also get palpitations due to anxiety and I’ve got myself convinced that I’ve got some sort of hidden heart disease ... and that the anaesthetic will cause some issues ... I used to work in neurosurgery and you know when they say a little knowledge is a bad thing .. been googling all sorts ..

I can’t settle down and I’ve got twenty four hours to go . I keep thinking I won’t get home and my mum needs me to look after her , she won’t manage if I’m not there for whatever reason , even had nightmares last night .

Asked GP for diazepam to help me calm down tonight , they’ve said no definitely not as hospital will give me temazepam or something as soon as I’m there and they don’t want to chance ODing by mistake . I can’t settle at all .

Can you immerse yourself in something to distract yourself? Even if it's a little off-piste, like writing your Christmas card list or learning something new off YouTube.

Health anxiety is so common, you aren't unusual at all. You are going to be in expert hands from start to finish.
You already know that afterwards you will think "what on earth was I worried about?", you just need to get to that point tomorrow.

Time will pass, you will get through this & any diagnosis & treatment will happen.
Best wishes x

I’ve started a jigsaw .., and packed and repacked a few times . I can’t stop googling complications , I’m driving myself mad . I’ve even wondered if I should write letters to my family and then make myself cry by thinking the worst 🥴

Thank you

You know you need to stop the Googling! I sympathise, I had surgery recently, and was terrified beforehand, but it was absolutely fine when it actually happened. The surgeons do this all day every day, and they really do know what they are doing.

This was suggested to me when I catastrophised... plan your anxiety for a certain time. You're not going to think about it until 9pm tonight and then spend 5-10mins going through it in your head. Have an answer for each worry like a checklist.

Then put it to one side again until later. Each time it pops in your head, tell yourself it's not time to think about it.

You'll be fixed soon enough and this will be a distant memory.

Great British Bake Off on 4OD, kalms unless contraindicated for surgery, lots of lovely snacks as late as you're allowed them. I find it helps to be a bit destiny-orientated: believe that what will be, will be, and that if you were destined to die tomorrow (which you're not) then you would, and you would even if you didn't have surgery at all. Statistically you're probably more likely to die on the way to the surgery due to a car accident than to die in the surgery itself.

Stop googling. At this point you're just stressing yourself out more.

Hope you have had some sleep, @naericht & are feeling positive.
Just go with the mechanics of the day, do what you are told, and let it happen. It will be ok 💐

I did sleep yeah, , woke up at 6, then what felt like every 2 mins til I got up at 6.45am . On way to hospital in taxi now ... £45 🙄 . Worth it to avoid taking 2 or 3 separate buses though ! Hopefully they can give me tablets to calm me down once I’m there .

Oh it's a such a pain when that frequent waking happens -sympathy for that, let alone the op!
V good decision on the taxi, you deserve that minor luxury.

The staff are going to be used to people way more nervous than you, so don't worry about that.

Have you got a favourite place that you can take yourself to, mentally? I've got a couple, real places (holidays etc) but I've embellished them over the years, just to concentrate on whilst whatever is being done to me actually happens.

Just let them do what they have to do & please let us know how your day goes, I'll be sending you good thoughts x

Isn’t it just haha, it felt like a long time I’d slept each time I woke up but clearly not . I’m having a general they’ve just said, twenty minute procedure . I’ve been sitting crying which doesn’t help . I’ve got a hour hour wait, in a wee waiting room . Be delighted once it’s all done and over .

I like that idea of visualisation , they’ve suggested that - I used to love going to the beach for holidays so will try to think of that .

It will be fine.

I was the same when I had my first op. I got worse at the hospital as they wouldn't let DH sit and wait with me since it was a gynae ward. My heart rate was about 130 when they took it . Once I was walking down to theatre I calmed down. I knew it had to happen and the chances of anything bad happening were miniscule. I asked the anaesthetist to not do the countdown as the idea was too scary so he just chatted random crap with me and then I was gone. It was all fine to be honest and I'd be far less nervous next time.

How'd it go, OP?

Still not done, I’ve been told probably 4pm before I’m taken through . They’re treating me as if I have a diagnosis of cpap which is worrying me but they said it’s a good thing to do/be aware of . I think that just means I’ll have to have a cpap mask on after . I’m sleeping here tonight as well , won’t get home til tomorrow at least .

Oh no, how rubbish for you, OP. Did you bring overnight stuff with you just in case? If not will they let you go back and get stuff? No point sweating it out there if you don't have to.

I’ve got an overnight bag yep ! Probably overpacked ... I’ve even got my own bloody blanket !!

Is it a cystoscopy/cystodistension? I’ve had that and it really isn’t bad at all.

It is yep , the hydro thingy? I had one before years ago with a labiaplasty on the same day and I just remember pain afterwards, I think that’s what I’m most frightened of !

Bit late but good luck OP, I've had 3 operations this year and all were fine (if a little rubbish afterwards obviously) Your BP and heart rate are all checked at your pre op assessment, and on the day, and monitored throughout. if anything was abnormal they'd have done an ecg ages ago and made sure that was in order before contemplating GA. It's also normal to be kept overnight if you are going into surgery late in the day due to recovery times and not discharging people at midnight etc.

When I was in the process of awaiting an OP last year and a heart issue was suspected, I had to wait until I'd seen a cardiologist and got the go ahead before they'd even book it in.

They will always always err on the side of caution so if you say you have symptoms they will always assume there might be an issue until proven otherwise. It means nothing other than they are following a procedure that covers their backs .

It's a minor procedure OP, the risks are low. I'd focus on the fact it may help you long term, I have IC and bladder issues and they are agony, you are getting treatment and that is a potential positive. They know what they are doing and when you go into theatre you will see just how many people are in there just for you as one patient, keeping an eye on each element of proceedings and you'll know nothing about any of it when they sedate you, you'll just waft off into your temporary sleep!

You sound more positive now you're in the middle of it all, well done. Glad you've got such a top quality overnight kit!

I hate this cliché but it's particularly relevant in terms of any pain - this too will pass.

Keep going, you are doing so well 💐

Good luck, op, and top marks for preparedness.

THs k you all so so much . Drugged up now on temapezam . Hopefully get a sleep before theatre they’re saying and then op and then upstairs for the night . Temazpeam not doubt much except changed my eyesight a bit !

Aw best of luck OP. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

I came out of theatre at 5ish, don’t remember anything clearly til about 6ish. Had two bits of toast and tea and a lot of drugs so a bit woozy and tired , peeing is hell and I can’t do it . Cried my eyes out in theatre too .