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Original poster

Talk me out of buying this plane ticket and leaving next week?!

41 replies

KateMcd · 13/10/2019 00:35

Hi everyone. I was living abroad until 3 months ago when I came back to my hometown and moved back in with my parents. The reason is a mixture of mental health issues and because my last employer stopped paying myself & my colleagues, leaving us with no money.

So I have spent 2 months job hunting, almost all day every day. I've had 3 interviews, including a 2nd interview. I thought it went well & was told I would hear but they never contacted me. I am feeling very down.

I am now tempted to go back to my old city abroad (which I LOVE) for a few weeks to work in a couple of Autumn camps teaching and offering workshops. I would be gone for 3 weeks and earn a decent monthly salary. I would need to find accommodation for a few days but the job is mostly residential and a good friend says I can stay a few nights with her too.

Am I being reckless and ridiculous? Should I just stay put until I find a job? I know my family has been really looking forward to spending my birthday with me this year as I am usually gone, and I will be gone again. But I feel like I am going stir crazy.

OP posts:
motorcyclenumptiness · 13/10/2019 00:47

Go! The jobs market in the UK is v difficult, many recruiters are desperately unprofessional and plain rude, and job-hunting here is a soul-destroying and confidence-crushing experience. If you have a chance to escape, take it.

AGermFreeAdolescent · 13/10/2019 00:49

I'd say stay. If it's only for three weeks then aren't you going to be back to square one when you return again? But on the other hand, life is short, so if you will be happier for those three weeks then maybe you should go for it.

Original poster
KateMcd · 13/10/2019 00:59

Ha, 50-50 so far! Interested to see how this pans out...

I basically am feeling both things!

  1. I suppose I will be back to square one, but with a bit more money. I will just have to apply for jobs all over again.

  2. Life is short & I would like to go, be with my friends and get the chance to be in nature for a while (the job is a mixture of indoors & outdoors).

Being in my hometown is stifling and I feel I am swimming hard but going nowhere - like one of those cartoon characters! Who knows, maybe if I keep at it for another week or 2 I will get something, but I just don't know. I am burning out.

OP posts:
AlwaysOverworkedUnderpaid · 13/10/2019 01:00

Go

weaseley · 13/10/2019 01:07

Is it 3 weeks or 3 months? Just you said a good monthly salary, but you won't be there a month.

I would go, just because it makes the unemployment gap on your resume smaller. That's got to be a good thing. And any extra experience must be a bonus.

Original poster
KateMcd · 13/10/2019 01:07

The other thing is we have 2 relatives coming to visit for a couple of days and I will miss them, which might annoy my parents.

I love my family but one of them (a couple of years older than me) has just got engaged & has had a promotion. And what do I have? Every conversation with people, especially family at the moment, turns to sympathy. I find that hard as I like to feel useful and enjoy working.

OP posts:
notangelinajolie · 13/10/2019 01:11

I think you should go. It sounds like you want to.

Original poster
KateMcd · 13/10/2019 01:12

What I meant is I can work for 3 weeks and because it is decently paid, it equates to about a month's salary.

I guess I won't be advancing my life much but I won't be losing out financially. I suppose it does mean I am still not putting down roots back home. It is very hard to go from having a fulfilling social life & being out in nature a lot due to where I lived TO back home with parents with barely any money in a very residential place. What I do spend mainly goes on transport to interviews or the odd treat.

I just wouldn't want them to feel it was a kick in the teeth to up and leave again for a while. I know there are pros and cons to both.

OP posts:
walkintheparc · 13/10/2019 01:16

Just go! And try and stay there! I did similar and I've never looked back.

Sounds like your options are stay with your parents and keep hunting for jobs (which sounds depressing and stifling) or move somewhere you love with some immediate opportunities. No brainer!

managedmis · 13/10/2019 01:18

Er go.

Where it is, BTW? Sounds interesting

motorcyclenumptiness · 13/10/2019 01:31

It's absolutely fine to put yourself first and do what you want. You're not letting anyone down by living your own life. People-pleasing is thankless.

HeddaGarbled · 13/10/2019 01:35

Your folks have been good to you. They’ve housed and fed you and supported you through your mental health and financial difficulties. If you do go, you do need to talk to them properly about this, explain why (because you can get paid employment, not because living at home is ‘stifling’!), say how grateful you are to them for being there when you needed them and apologise for not being there for your birthday and your relatives’ visit.

If you are going to make decent money, it might be nice to shift some of that your parents’ way, either as a contribution to household expenses or by treating them to something on your return.

Don’t take them and their support for granted.

Original poster
KateMcd · 13/10/2019 01:43

HeddaGarbled - I agree they have been good to me, although there has been some tension and arguments.

I will make decent money for a month's salary. It will help me to raise some money towards moving out & being able to live more of a life when I return. My parents make good money & I do buy them dinner or drinks sometimes and clean the house each week.

I will think this over because I would like to go but also don't want to hurt their feelings. I do also see the advantages of staying because I know this would mean interrupting the job hunt.

OP posts:
MrsTriOskvi · 13/10/2019 01:49

Go 💯 and let me live precariously through you Smile

GinAndBubbles · 13/10/2019 01:50

Go... and have an amazing time!

WhatTiggersDoBest · 13/10/2019 01:51

Go back if that's what's in your heart. Your parents would surely want you to be happy? Earlier this year, I went back to the UK from another country intending to have my baby, and a week in, I was remembering all the reasons we left and wishing we were there again. Being in the other country again, where you have friends and knowledge of the area, you might fall on another opportunity to do something longer term and if not, presumably the salary will cover the airfare?

GymNovice · 13/10/2019 06:05

Go! It sounds like you want to move back. What are the job prospects there? Can you set up a few interviews whilst you're there?

user1483387154 · 13/10/2019 06:16

I would go .... but if you are on any form of benefits they may be cancelled

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/10/2019 06:17

How old are you OP? I’d go if I were you.

Fatshedra · 13/10/2019 06:43

Stay and find a job as Xmas is coming and there should be lots becoming available.

Loopyloopy · 13/10/2019 07:02

I'd go. Even though it's short term, work tends to lead to more work. You may make contacts on the job that opens up new application pathways. At the very least, it will put you in a much better place mentally for future job hunting.

Dowser · 13/10/2019 07:27

You’ve got to go
It’s lovely you care so much for your parents but you need to be your own person
You’ve tried for a job
It hasn’t worked and now you’ve got a temporary job offer in a place you love
So go
Best of both worlds on my opinion

stucknoue · 13/10/2019 07:49

Go, you can job hunt at home from there and also look for work in that city too

BikeRunSki · 13/10/2019 07:58

I would say go.
DM would say stay. I have 2 siblings who have lived abroad for over 10/20 years. One of them returned recently, meaning to stay for good, but has gone back for for a job interview, and will stay if he gets the job. DM is heart broken. Her plans of being able to celebrate Christmas, birthdays etc with her family were very important to her. She was so happy to have her “baby boy” back.

Tippety · 13/10/2019 08:00

If you have the chance go! Now you know the reality of living back home, you might find it gives you some clarity to what you actually want to do next.