Glasses for toddler - any tips?

[SinkGirl]

At DT2’s ophthalmologist appointment yesterday we got a prescription for glasses. He is a complex little guy - they can’t really assess his functional vision due to ASD and severe delays. He has a disorder of visual development and brain damage that could be causing cortical issues so figuring out what he can see is very difficult. He’s 3 but non verbal and can’t cooperate much with eye tests.

But now we have to get glasses and I just have no idea how to get him to wear them. The ophthalmologist said not to make it a battle, keep trying etc. Any tips?

Also does anyone know what’s actually covered on the nhs for kids? He filled in a form which I assume is the voucher but it’s in the car so I need to look at it.

DS got glasses when he was two. The voucher covers the cost of the glasses and if you go to Specsavers, they then give you a second pair free. You’d have to top up for anything like thinner lenses - probably not an issue for little toddler glasses, but I did do this for DS last time as larger glasses mean heavier lenses. This cost £15, so not too bad. I guess this will vary, but the Specsavers local to us is brilliant with DS, so patient and he always leaves loaded down with stickers. I really would recommend them.

My top tips would be to let your DS choose the frames, if he’s interested. Mine wasn’t diary time but he did have views this time around.

When he gets them, head to Poundland and let him choose a few little toys. DS had a little motorbike. The deal was, he got it when his glasses were on. When the glasses came off, the motorbike went to bed. It didn’t take long for him to realise that he could see better with them on, and he got his new toy to play with, so he kept them on.

Keep going back to get them adjusted if you need to - it can take a bit of trial and error to get them really comfortable.

Thank you! It’s hard to find toys he’s interested in and I couldn’t explain the link to him... but maybe if at home I associate wearing them with a favourite toy he’ll understand.

Eek, I’m quite nervous. His twin is always trying to pull off my glasses so this should be interesting!

I can highly recommend SpecSavers for children. My DS has been wearing glasses since he was 2 and SS were the only optician in my area that had frames small enough for his face.

As for getting him to keep them on - fortunately he quickly realised how his sight was improved so it was relatively easy after he got used to them. Lots of distraction! I also wear glasses which helped as I kept telling him he was just like me and he had lots of encouragement at nursery.

There are lots of NHS options however it does depend on the size of your DS head as to what frames he can have. At two years old our son only had Winnie the Poo option (size 40 I believe) as these were the smallest so we also bought a pair of Zoobug frames and paid for the lenses from SpecSavers (£35) and they fitted them for us. We got two pairs on the NHS - one every day pair and one sunglasses and then the Zoobug were his spare glasses.

There's a really helpful Facebook group called Kids in Specs Uk. Loads of advice on there. But yeah early days, loads of rewards for wearing. Try and put them on when you start an activity where he will be distracted and thus less likely to pull them off. If tv can be used as a bargaining chip then no screen time unless he has his glasses on. But it takes several weeks for their eyes(brains) to adjust because as far as they are concerned how they saw was normal, so just slow and steady, you will get there, took me about 3 months to get full time wear properly established. You have to pay for thinning or anything fancy with lenses but all opticians will have a selection of frames that come free with the NHS prescription as will the basic lenses. Be prepared for broken glasses and scratched lenses but the optician should replace them for free if your kid has damaged them and they aren't fit for purpose anymore! Good luck

Our wee one has had glasses since 18mo. I think the whole thing was free, we took the prescription form into Boots & they went through the option with us. We got some with a neck strap. At three there will be more choices.

I had expected to have a fight on my hands, but actually, I think they’ve made such a big difference to what she can see she mostly wears them.

We have gone very laid back & told nursery to do the same, so it did t turn into a battle, so one day she didn’t wear them at all really, they offered them periodically but didn’t push it when she said no.

WE took chocolate buttons (high value treat here! ) to the opticians yo get them fitted.

One of my Dc wore glasses early (just over 2). Get frames that are free on nhs as you’ll break a few pairs quite quickly. Just keep putting them back on.

I refused to talk to dc unless he had his glasses on.

Because they made such a difference to his sight it didn’t take too long for him to get it.

My DD started wearing glasses not long after she turned one. We did have some issues getting her to keep them on at times (one memorable time she just chucked them in a bush in the garden). We started slowly by only doing her favourite activities if she was wearing them (started with reading books then eating, tv etc). We found after a while that she would forget to take them off after. She was at nursery and they did similar eg mealtimes, circle time. It wasn't long before she was wearing them full time.

We did have to get them repaired a lot in those days. We ended up stocking up on the tiny screws and nose plates from eBay so could replace ourselves to save trying to get to opticians on weekly basis. You should be entitled to a spare pair too for when major repairs are needed.

Thanks everyone. I think it’s going to be really tough because of the ASD and lack of communication / understanding - things like bargaining, rewarding, bribing etc aren’t really concepts he can grasp.

He does snack frequently (not a problem, he’s tiny) and food does seem to be a good motivator for him so will start there.

All of his previous eye appointments have been absolutely traumatic but yesterday was so much better- he tolerated it really well, so I think we definitely have more chance of glasses staying on now than we did a few months ago. But when they put the one lens sunglasses on him in the test he fights to rip them straight off... so could be fun!

The difficulty we have is that we have no way of knowing how he sees currently, the prescription is only from a physical exam, plus we have no way of properly knowing how much glasses are helping. But I’m hopeful it will help somewhat.

It will be much more tricky because of your ds’s difficulties. I think you need to view it as a long game and measure success in tiny increments i.e. glasses stayed on for 5 seconds = success. Next time we will aim for 6!
I would put them on with the same neutral instruction and sign each time ‘glasses on’ and then either immediately give him a treat or immediately distract (bubbles? Light ball?), if he takes them off then put them back on with the same neutral instruction. If he is getting cross/distressed then put them away and try again later.
Hopefully over time his tolerance for them will build up.

Took him to the opticians to get glasses this morning and it was really awful. He got really distressed and had to leave and come back a few times (shout out to brilliant staff at Specsavers who took it all in their stride). Managed to get him back in with a bag of rice cakes and try some on - they only had one pair that fit him so we now have two (very unstylish!) green pairs of glasses coming in the next week. Initially he wouldn’t even let them near his face but by the end he was wearing them for a few seconds with me holding his hands out of the way.

Going to enjoy the next few days before the stress of trying to get him to wear them starts! Just hoping once the lenses are in he will find things get better. Once I know he will wear them I might order some better quality frames and pay to have lenses put in but I’m sure these will be broken many times as first pairs!

Has he got a favourite teddy you could put glasses on?

No, nothing like that - he has a few Hey Duggee toys he’s recently showing an interest in because they make noise so maybe I’ll try that. He just doesn’t understand things - everything is so confusing for him and it’s really tough not being able to reassure him. Food is probably my best bet - I’ll bake something nice and give him bits when he’s wearing them, hopefully he will link the two (if there’s any chance of him understanding anything it’s a food association!)

There is a glasses episode of Hey Duggee if he likes that?

My DS started wearing glasses when he was 2.

He didn't want to wear them at first, but I made him wear them for specific activities (fun things he wanted to do like watch TV).

He would throw them on the floor when he was having toddler tantrums, but he quickly realised that he could see better with them on, so he stopped quite quickly.

The opticians recommended these plastic bendy glasses which were virtually indestructible. They also had a band on the back, connecting the arms, to keep them on his face.

DD was 2.5 when she first started wearing glasses for short-sightedness. Was also very stressed about how the hell we would get her to wear them but it honestly went so much better than expected (albeit no SEN).

At the opticians they suggested putting them on her for the first time whilst she was watching TV for two reasons - 1) she'd be distracted and 2) being short-sighted, she'd hopefully realise she could see much better with them on! We did that and it was actually probably a good five mins before she took them off! We just calmly put them back on and that carried on for the next few days.. She'd wear them for a while, then notice she had them on and take them off.. and we'd not make a big deal out of it, just put them straight back on. (Surprisingly, they lasted longer when out and about - she'd keep them on the whole time, then eg take them off again in the car home, maybe because she was distracted).

Anyway, after a few days something seemed to click and she pretty much just then wore them.. I think she just realised that she can see much better with them on. It's been nearly a year now and she asks for them in the mornings etc.

I know every child is different but I would say just try and be consistent and literally every time he takes them off, just calmly put them back on again.

Do either you or your partner wear glasses? Or could you get some frames?! I wear them (I'm extremely short-sighted so DD has my genes unfortunately!) so it probably helped that she was used to seeing me wear them.

Oh and we didn't bother with the head strap.. We tried it in the opticians and she hated it.. It goes on really tight and I think can be quite uncomfortable.

Good luck

It sounds like he did really well at his appointment, and you even though I know you say it was awful; keeping them on for just a few seconds is a great start. If you know food works that sounds like a good plan, but even if it takes a long time for him to tolerate wearing them, at least it's all a step in the right direction. I think getting children to wear glasses is a challenge anyway, I had to have them from young and used to have a sticker book, I'd get a sticker at night if I'd kept them on all day. They also had metal hoops at the end of the arms as I used to try and fight the system and peer over the top of them . Good luck, hope it goes well.

Oh just noticed you said you wear glasses.. Despite his lack of understanding, hopefully he'll see them as something familiar (though I realise he doesn't process things the same).

Have a look at somewhere that stocks Tomato glasses. They are really good for small faces, we found the choice in the bug chain stores were very limited for what would fit our son (but they are great for bigger kids as you can get two pairs).

We did lots of quick pop in trips to opticians to just try on. Let him pick ANY pair to try - adult ones, sunglasses whatever - just making it fun. Then we got some of the tomato glasses frames ordered in to try and we made a big deal of try them on - run look in the mirror, take a silly selfie (whatever works) and then he picked the pair he liked the best.

On the NHS voucher there is a part for them to tick that you need small frames for the child. If this is ticked it covers more - ours wasn’t and so we ended up paying for the frames but the lenses were covered.

In terms of building up to wearing them as much as possible maybe a good place to start is wearing them for one thing e.g. screen time, during meals - something where they will be busy and forget they have them on.

My little girl has worn them since she was one!! Defo make sure your voucher covers you for a spare pair when she was little they would get lost and turn up on the toy box etc. She was very good at wearing them and I made her wear them every day and now she just puts them on herself and looks weird without them! Lots of praise and you look beautiful / amazing etc will help. If not maybe a reward chart etc. He will get used to them and will find he is worse when he doesn't wear them soon enough good luck x

Thanks all. He loves Hey Duggee but doesn’t understand the plot or anything like that. It’s going to be a challenge.

We literally just got two pairs of the only ones that fit him but now I know what size they are so we can start with these and if he gets used to them I’ll pay some better ones. I guess his head will keep growing and he’ll need bigger ones at some point!

Not sure how he will do with the straps but we will try it. He is used to me wearing glasses so hopefully on some level they’re familiar, but then he is very delayed (doesn’t recognise himself in a mirror for example) so it’s hard to know really.

Will see how he gets on when we pick them up next week.

Just to reassure you about only being able to judge his sight off a physical exam, I first took DD to the optician when she was 5, NT and knew her letters. She was cooperating well, and getting her to read letters did reveal a problem. She was then given drops to dilate her pupils, and her eyes were examined - her prescription was more than doubled; she was too good at compensating for her long sight, at least in short bursts, to reveal the extent of her sight issues. A physical exam is what her optician relies on even for a co-operative child.

On the neck strap - we found that each strap lasted for about a day and we replaced with a bit of elastic which has worked much better.

My daughter went cross eyed at one. She had glasses at 15 months. We sat with her on our laps reading and playing games gently distracting her from taking them off. It really didn't take long for her to get used to them.
My son was 5 had had regular optician appts who said no issues. He had delayed speech and language and I got a referral to hospital who said he couldn't see smaller than A4 sheet. He had to endure lots of patching. He was just relieved to see so we had no issues with the glasses.

A physical exam is what her optician relies on even for a co-operative child.

Thank you :)

The difficulty with DT2 is the range of issues with unpredictable impacts - he has optic nerve hypoplasia in both eyes which can range from very mild impairment to complete blindness (he’s definitely not blind). Then he has a specific type of brain damage which can cause issues with how the brain processes what the eyes see, or not. Plus the strabismus which may be impacting his depth perception / 3D vision or not. We don’t know how much of his inability to use toys functionally is down to delays and how much is related to his vision. And now the long sightedness too... without him engaging at all in eye tests it’s so hard to know what he sees, and will be hard to assess how much the glasses are helping unless he’s suddenly able to participate in eye tests because he can see better (unlikely but I am optimistically hoping they make a big difference).

Have just seen some adorable Tomato Harry Potter style glasses that would fit him if we get on with these so will see how he gets on and then get him something really cute when he’s used to them - the fetching green Winnie the Pooh glasses can be a trial run 😂

I wonder how often you need to size up frames with kids of this age - how long does one size of frames last anyway in a 3 year old, maybe a year or so?

I also wonder what will happen with his lenses - from what I remember his actual numbers were +3.75 in both eyes but they’re starting him with +1.75 in both eyes. I guess they’ll gradually work up to the higher numbers as they are doing the same with me 😂