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Original poster

Help me word this work email please

43 replies

curlyLJ · 11/10/2019 06:58

I started a new p/t job on Weds and already realise I have made a huge mistake and it's not the job for me. Had niggling doubts before I started, but having been a SAHM for 5 years I put it down to nerves. I should have listened to my inner voice!

So, I need to send an email urgently with an explanation as to why I'm not coming in today (or back at all).
I've been awake half the night mulling it all over and over and now I can't think straight to word it properly.
Can anyone help?

OP posts:

Lydia55y · 11/10/2019 07:01

Don’t send an email. Go into the office and speak with your manager face to face. Recruiting and hiring takes a lot of time and resource, it’s unfortunate the job isn’t for you but at least have the decency to face them. You never know they might say/adjust something that changes your perspective!

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 11/10/2019 07:05

I agree with Lydia55y, you should go in and have a face to face discussion with HR. An email really wouldn't be a professional way to handle this situation and shows a lack of respect.

TheAlternativeTentacle · 11/10/2019 07:06

call in half an hour before you are due in and tell them you won't be in again.

Original poster

curlyLJ · 11/10/2019 07:07

@Lydia55y it's not that simple. There are 2 organisations which employ people within the centre and I was recruited by one, but am managed by the other, if that makes sense.
My direct line manager doesn't work on Fridays, I will call her counterpart with whom she job-shares to say I'm not coming in, but to make matters even more complicated she works for a different organisation.
I haven't even met the manager for the organisation who employed me and don't know where she is based

OP posts:

Soontobe60 · 11/10/2019 07:07

It's too early to pack it in! Youve not given it a chance.

Original poster

curlyLJ · 11/10/2019 07:08

@TheRobinIsBobbingAlong HR isn't even in the area where I work. It's miles away. I've not dealt with them face-to-face at all.
I wanted to email the manager who emailed me my start date. I don't have her number.

OP posts:

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/10/2019 07:09

I don’t think you’ve given it long enough. Everyone has wobbles when they first start, and it’s much easier to why a job when you’ve already got one. I’d go in today if only to talk to your manager. An email is not professional in this situation.

SoupDragon · 11/10/2019 07:10

I'm with Lydia55y. You should go in and explain. Giving them no notice is a shitty thing to do.

ZenNudist · 11/10/2019 07:10

Stick it out for a month. Its ridiculous to quite in the furst week. You need time to adjust and get the lie of the lamd. Arguably 3 months or 6 better but 1 month is a bare minimum.

What were your reasons for going back to work? Focus on those.

Original poster

curlyLJ · 11/10/2019 07:10

There are no managers there to speak to today.

It's really not that I need to give it longer, I've realised the actual role really isn't for me and I don't want to do it.

OP posts:

ZenNudist · 11/10/2019 07:13

Plus part tìme work is hard to find. Will you even get paid for the 2 days youve worked?

2 days thats insane to quit after all the effort you went to to get the job.

Is it lack of confidence? Back yourself!

DriftingLeaves · 11/10/2019 07:14

You can't just not go in and let them down. Do the job and serve out a notice period. Do the decent thing.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/10/2019 07:16

You need to give appropriate notice.

I realise you have probably got used to being at home, but you’re going to have to get a job at some point. Be a grown up.

Original poster

curlyLJ · 11/10/2019 07:20

Surely if I've realised I have made a massive error, it's better to own up straight away.
This is more than nerves, it's a completely different role to what I thought.
Nobody has been doing the job up until Weds so I'm not leaving them in the lurch.
I wanted to send an email now, saying I'm happy to discuss over the phone later. I haven't even got my recruiting manager's number

OP posts:

AmIThough · 11/10/2019 07:20

Call HR if you really can't bear to work your notice.

AmIThough · 11/10/2019 07:21

PS this is the reason women get discriminated against in the workplace. They'll assume you just want to go back to being a SAHM and they won't employ a former SAHM the next time.

Original poster

curlyLJ · 11/10/2019 07:22

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat it's really not that I've got used to being at home. When you find yourself on job search websites on your 2nd day back, you know you've made a massive error of judgement.

This isn't an office job and isn't really how it was sold to me at interview.

OP posts:

Icedlatte · 11/10/2019 07:23

Hi OP, I had exactly the same situation after maternity leave. I had moved to a new area, so a new job. Despite a thorough interview process and discussion around my skill set, when I started it was clear that the work they needed to do was an entirely different skill set (in the same sector, but a different function)
No amount of sticking it out was going to change the fact that I was an expert in one area, but they needed an expert in another area. (I suppose a bit like hiring a plumber to do an electrician job!)

I had a face to face discussion with the most senior person available to me, and was very honest about my concerns. She couldn't offer any plans for the role to evolve to suit my skills. It was clear I would be starting from the bottom again if I were to stay, and not utilising the 10 years experience I had in my own field.

I slept on it, went in again the next morning to see if anything would change once everyone had had time to mull over where we all stand, it hadn't, so I left at lunch at didn't come back.

I was satisfied that we'd all been honest with our expectations and that they didn't match. I know I left them in the lurch, but I was never the right person for the job.

icelollycraving · 11/10/2019 07:24

I’ve had this a couple of times. I’d rather they went sooner rather later although I was irritated because recruiting takes time.
Call definitely and then email.

verytiredandstressed · 11/10/2019 07:25

People quit jobs all the time after a day or 2 , they realise they have made a mistake and it's not the job for them . So those saying give it a chance or do proper notice are unreasonable. There is no point in training you if you are going in a couple of weeks so I agree the best thing is tell them today .
I'd say sorry the job is not for me and not met my expectations and I apologise for letting you down and wish you luck in finding a replacement .
End of move on it's not worth it if you have been awake half the night worrying .

ExpletiveDelighted · 11/10/2019 07:25

It is leaving them in the lurch though, they presumably have been planning around you starting this week and now they have to start recruitment all over again which could take weeks. You can't just send in an email and not turn up, that would be so unprofessional. Can't you go in today and set up a meeting for Monday?

AmazingAardvark · 11/10/2019 07:25

Could you go in as usual today and then talk to your line manager next week? I agree with the others that emailing in the morning to say you won’t be coming back isn’t the most professional way to handle it.

Icedlatte · 11/10/2019 07:26

Also I think the comments from other pps saying that you've got used to be at home, and are the reason women are discriminated against are grossly unfair. That's implying that a mum should be grateful for a job, regardless of whether it's the right job for her.

I think the situation at home has absolutely nothing to do with this. As a professional, you have walked into a new job and found it unsuitable. You are not a captive and can choose to move along and find something better suited to you, just as people do every day (even MEN, shock horror!)

PotteringAlong · 11/10/2019 07:27

You’ve got a part time job after being a SAHM for 5 years. Is enjoyment top of your employment wish list?

Either which way, just not turning up is crap. Work your notice or, better still, give it at least 3 months.

Sparkletastic · 11/10/2019 07:27

Can you explain a bit more about why the job isn't what you thought it was? Then we can better help with wording the email.

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