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Original poster

Childs name change by deed poll

37 replies

malakai2 · 10/10/2019 20:53

So basically i need some information about name change by deed poll..
When me and my partner met,my partners ex (his sons mum) put forward a load of allegations to the police about him being voilent towards her (out of jelousy) which resulted in a molesation order being put in place for 12 months,so for those 12 months my parnter had no contact with his son..His son had his dads surname until his mum had it changed by deed poll to her surname within those 12 months..my partner wasnt on his birth certificate at the time may i add..
He then took his Sons mum to court to get his name added onto the birth certificate which was granted by the court and he now has parental responsibility..now the problem is the childs mum has stated she wants him to keep her surname as on the deed poll but my partner wants him to have his surname as his birth certificate states..does anyone know how this can be resolved and if the deed poll name change will be valid?shouldnt the father have to consent to the name change before it can happen?
Thank you

OP posts:

loooosir · 10/10/2019 20:56

I think chronology is important here- name change happened before dad got PR, then that is child's name. To change the name back would require BOTH parents with PR to agree, or a court order.

Why should the kid have dad's surname instead of mum's? Surely it's a 50:50 chance which he gets. I think there are probably bigger issues than making this into a big deal. The kid has one of his parent's surnames. When he's 18, he can choose if he wants to swap, double barrel or whatever. I don't think this is the hill to die on.

IsAStormApproaching · 10/10/2019 21:04

I think the deed poll would be the valid name if it happened before PR.
Could they hypinate the childs name as an option ?
Nither parent has more right than the other with regards to second name.
If the child is responding to his/her full name it may not be on their best interests to start changing his/her name.

loooosir · 10/10/2019 21:14

(plus, OP have you put in a Clare's law request?)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Family law

LewisFan · 10/10/2019 21:23

The Deed Poll will be the valid and now legal name as it relies on "all those with PR" agreeing, which at the time was just the mother.

LewisFan · 10/10/2019 21:24

Also, no - no consent needed as the father had no legal rights (PR) at the time of the name change.

ExcitedForFuture · 10/10/2019 21:26

I hate the 'tradition' that children get the fathers name. Why the hell should they when they actually do the least amount possible in having a baby.

Leave the childs name as it is. The mum would have to agree anyway to have it changed and I doubt she will so let it go. You always see the advice on here to give the baby the mother's surname when they aren't married.

Wornoutalready · 10/10/2019 21:29

Yes agree with everyone else. At the time of the deed poll everyone with PR consented if the Dad didn't have PR and it was valid.
Like someone else said I would be worried about the molestation order. Don't you usually need evidence for those?

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/10/2019 21:36

You need to talk to a professional about this, and find out if this is worth chasing.

MaryLane93 · 10/10/2019 21:41

He could get a specific issue order but I think that honestly there are bigger issues here.

Also in my experience I have never come across anybody who had a non molestation order where there was no domestic abuse or violence. They are not as easy to get as you might think. So I would be using Clare's law.

Original poster

malakai2 · 10/10/2019 21:44

My mistake,it was a non molestation order as there was no evidence..
Registry office say the childs surname will always be what it was when registered at birth (his fathers) as this is legal and deed poll is just a name he will be ‘Known’ by..

OP posts:

loooosir · 10/10/2019 21:46

I think this varies as to which country you're in.

What does your partners' son's surname matter to you?

Non-molestation orders don't get made on 'no evidence'.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 10/10/2019 21:54

Registry office say the childs surname will always be what it was when registered at birth (his fathers) as this is legal and deed poll is just a name he will be ‘Known’ by.

That can’t be right. Deed poll is the legal changing of a name.

loooosir · 10/10/2019 22:01

In England, all names are what you're "known by". You can call yourself what you like, and your legal name is what people call you. All a deed poll does is legally states that New Name is what people call you. It's a circular thing, but it starts with what people call you. His birth name will always be Birth Name, but his name was legally changed to New Name when his mum (at that time the only one with PR) ensured he is known as New Name. Deed Poll just puts that in paper form, it's not a legal thing, the legal thing is being known as New Name. This child's name is now New Name. Why would dad be an arse and want to change it again?

IANAL, but this is my understanding.

loooosir · 10/10/2019 22:03

Ah, no reading, it's different for kids. The name will have been legally enrolled, and put in The Gazette, so New Name is his legal name.

Original poster

malakai2 · 10/10/2019 22:07

It doesnt matter to me,my partner asked me to run it past people on here 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:

Wornoutalready · 10/10/2019 22:10

'Registry office say the childs surname will always be what it was when registered at birth (his fathers) as this is legal and deed poll is just a name he will be ‘Known’ by..'

No that will always be his birth name.
My child has just changed her name by deed poll, got a new passport and everything.
Her old passport didn't make it back. I rang as I was concerned but was told not to worry as the passport was cut and technically her old identity didn't legally exist anymore.
All her ID, DBS check, passport, bank account, doctors, dentist, college, HMRC, everything else is all in the new name. Unless she is asked for her birth certificate at some point (and I have not had mine for 20 years!) No one would even know.

Why is he so bothered about the name change?

Doyoumind · 10/10/2019 22:21

How much contact does he have with the child?

Why not just let the child be? The last thing they need is another name change. What benefit would it be to the child? Might it actually make life easier for them having the mother's name?

I wouldn't personally want to be with someone who had had a non mol against them. In my experience it's very difficult to prevent contact between a child and parent. It's not based on nothing.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 10/10/2019 22:29

Regardless I would say leave it. The boy has had enough turmoil, that’s his name now, he should be able to hang on to it. When he’s an adult he can decide himself.

Wornoutalready · 10/10/2019 22:35

I would agree AllTheWhoresOfMalta
The divorce courts accidentally double barrelled my aunts kids names on a document as she was using due barrelled at the time. Her Exh went batshit about it.

The first thing her dd did at 16 was change her name. She had spent years having to face questions at passport control and being the odd one out in her family and she hated it

MaryLane93 · 10/10/2019 22:45

There still has to be evidence for a non molestation order, but the threshold is lower. Have you considered using Clare's law? Or would you rather take his word for it.

Original poster

malakai2 · 10/10/2019 23:34

Thanks ladies,will pass on the info..and yes for your info the first thing i did was used clares law,nothing on file and i was with him when the so called ‘allegation’ was to have happened..Really is crazy what a bit of jelousy can make a person do 🙄

OP posts:

TheBatsHaveLeftTheBellTower · 11/10/2019 09:00

Children should have their mother's name if their parents are unmarried.

After all, it's usually the mother who is the primary and resident parent. It makes no sense to me to give the child the surname of the absent parent who hadn't even ensured they were on the birth certificate in the first place.

AutoAnswer · 11/10/2019 09:09

So mum is the primary carer but has to put up with her child having his name , yet she seems to have reason to want him well away from her?

He needs to let it go. Hes not the one getting up at night, taking the kid to appointments, signing the kid up for things, probably constantly correcting people about how they don’t have the same surname.

Mum was a sucker for using his surname in the first place as they weren’t married, if you ask me.

BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 11/10/2019 09:16

Women don't generally go ahead making up that their ex's violently attacked them op. Even if they're 'jealous'.

Have you requested information about him from the police through Clare's Law so you can be sure you know what he's telling you is true?

The deed poll will be valid because at the time it was done he wasn't legally recognised as the father and had no PR so his consent wasn't needed. They don't suddenly start overturning all of the decisions that were made previously once he goes on the birth certificate to take his view into account, that would be a logistical nightmare. Regardless, why should the child have his name? He isn't the primary carer. Having the mother's surname makes much more sense.

Original poster

malakai2 · 11/10/2019 20:31

Wow..alot of you on here seem to be jumping to conclusions..
Hes been in his sons life since birth and has never been an absent father,he wasnt put on the birth certificate initially as the childs mother wasnt 100% sure if the child was his or someone elses..
Yes i have gone through the whole clares law thing and nothing at all on his file suggesting he is violent..
Also this all happened 2 years ago now and he has his son every weekend..k

OP posts:

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