Biting your tongue and other minor failings of the human body.

[PralineCookie]

Is it just me or is biting your tongue one of the most annoying things ever? That or biting the side of your mouth. There really should be some reflex that stops you from doing it.

Don't get me started on hiccups.

What minor things about the body irritate you?

Periods
Brain freeze
Itchyness
Dry skin
Acne
Teeth- does any one have naturally straight white teeth?
Hiccups
Any body part which can be removed and not cause much hassle as result I.e appendix, tonsils, wisdom teeth
Sure I can think of others

Being unable to keep anything down. Yes it's a great design plan to make our bodies violently purge themselves of anything that harms them. But why does it then decide to also violently reject even water, when it should know it's dehydrated? That's just going ott.

Not being able to eat as much as I like without gaining weight. There far too many nice things to eat to be restricting them.

I've often thought humans need for sleep is a huge design flaw. This occured to me when I had my first child. We (should) spend a third of our day sleeping....yet there is so much to fit into the other 2 thirds.

In relation to breastfeeding, the fact that night feeds are an important factor in establishing an maintaining supply. For goodness sake, I've just grown a human, somehow managed to excavate it from my body, I'm leaking from far too many orifices and to top it all off I cant catch up on sleep during the night!!! Dad has a valid excuse why he really shouldn't give that bottle of lovingly expressed milk so I can try to recover from the greatest thing that humans can do! Typical mans world.

And I agree with periods, why cant we flick a switch when we are ready to procreate? So our bodies would know to produce a lovely egg for our mate to fertilise...the rest of the time we could just practice.

Why on earth hadn’t Mother Nature come up with s better design to have a baby. Why oh why do we need puffing and pushing for 24 hours instead of it popping out like a creme caramel comes out its container

Cramp > yes I am looking at you calf cramp agony at 1 am this morning , it's still tender now almost 24hrs later.

Tooth ache why does it take 4x times the amount of pain killers to numb it than it does any other ache.

Sweat, I know we sweat to keep cool but why does it have to smell so bad.

Periods. Every fucking 3 weeks.
Labour. Does is really have to be so painful.
Acne. Just why?
Bloating/water retention. Why????
Breastfeeding. It fucking hurts!!!

Bruxism. Bloody anxious bruxism.

Hair that gets in your eyes or mouth.You can never get at them.Or that itch at the back of your throat that you have to make weird noises to get your throat to move.

Paper cuts or hangnails.

Work of the devil.

Men's most sensitive parts dangling dangerously from their bodies rather than tucked away safely

This weirdly made me think of the ood’s from Dr Who, they carried their brains in their hands. 😂

Not being able to eat as much as I like without gaining weight. There far too many nice things to eat to be restricting them

Or, still being hungry even though you’ve just stuffed your face with loads of goodies, why can’t we switch off food cravings??

Excessive fat storage - yes, by all means fat cells, store a bit extra for times of 'famine', but kindly limit your greediness please

Leg cramps, restless legs, the fact that liquid can somehow get up from the mouth into the nose and cause pain- major design flaw!

That stupid thing you do when almost asleep and 'fall' yourself awake. Stupid. The body doing anything to itself to wake you, like snoring your own self awake.

Childbirth surely? All the other mammals mange to do it with relative ease (compared to us weak humans).

I want to have a litter and I want to just huff them out. Not 3 days in labour ending in wild amounts of stitches and pissing myself every time I laugh.

My arm rubbing when I run.

I’m a normal shape, and I go running a couple of times a week. For some reason, one tiny patch of my upper right arm rubs against my side when I run.
What’s that all about? Long sleeves for running is too hot. I have to buy plasters & remember to stick one on my arm.
Just annoying.

My immune system.
Struggles to fight off an actual invader, but goes nuts when there isn't one.
No, a small piece of pollen isn't going to hurt you. Stop over reacting. No, exercise is actually good for you, stop filling my lungs with goop.
A little sunshine? Well that would be nice but my immune system hates it.
Still at least I don't get anaphylaxis. Now there's a major design flaw.

Live flesh.

Creeps me ut and for over a week it's been happening on my chest right over my heart so really freaking me out!!!

After birth pains! I managed to give birth to an actual child with less pain
Oh and wisdom teeth! I need a second one pulling out, why did they even bother to grow in the first place

Not being able to see all round us, unlike many animals whose eyes are on the sides of their heads.

Not being able to sleep standing up, as horses do.

Instant learning not possible: only repetition and practice. (It's interesting to note that even in Hogwarts, the pupils can't learn by magic!)

These two I remember thinking as a child: hurting when smacked, it was most unfair that someone "discovered" this! Also not being able to see through the blindfold when pinning the tail.

Throwing up - why does it have to make your throat so sore?

Surely we deserve a nice soothing sensation after having to stick our heads in the toilet and see our least meals in liquid form.

You should read the new Bill Bryson book about the human body- it's fascinating and actually does explain some of these weird and wonderful goings on.

Menopause- so as a female human you have managed to navigate the problems of puberty, put up with bleeding and cramps every 4 weeks for years, grown several humans (including each time masterfully developing a 'disposable' organ to keep it fed etc for 9 months etc before being thrown away), gone through the pain of expelling said humans via small orifice, created food for these humans for their first months, learned to live with the associated permanent changes in your body. All at the same time as somehow holding down a job etc just the same as a man.

You then reach the stage where your children are fairly independent and you have more time than ever to do what YOU want for a change. Your periods even stop (hurrah) and you are not worried about getting pregnant/not getting pregnant. This could be an awesome time in your life. But now your brain seems to be encased in fog (simple words inexplicably escape you and you can't seem to remember anything), you can go from freezing to hotter than the surface of the sun in 30 seconds (and do whenever most embarrasing) and can't seem to sleep properly. This can, of course, be treated if you're happy to take medication every day- oh and no one seems to be able to give you a straight answer as to whether said medication will make it more or less likely that you will get cancer etc, leaving you (and your foggy brain) to make the decision.

• Colds! Other animals don’t get minimum 3 stinking colds a year. Forever!
• Reproductive organs doubling as waste excretion organs is love a separate appendage like a fuel pump hose that we could extend and use without partially undressing and risking wee on our shoes if there’s no loo around.

“I’d love” not “Is love”

Hay fever. Let's be allergic to our outdoor surroundings several months of the year when the weather is nice and we want to be outdoors.

As someone with IBD I wish our bodies didn't have a digestive system. It would be so nice to be able to live life without worrying about needing a toilet.