My wonderful dad has died and I am heartbroken

[BlackAndTanDog]

Not expecting any responses - I just needed to get this down.
Yesterday - my beloved dad passed away. We’re fairly sure of the circumstances, but it was unexpected. He was awaiting an operation - classed as not urgent, I think.
It’s a tricky situation with the family circumstances (step-family/siblings) involved.
I am very much my father’s daughter.
I am utterly devastated.

BlackandTan...these thoughts don't make you 'a terrible person' - we all (i think/maybe) have all sorts of thoughts during stressful times... I LOVE my DM and have a good/close relationship with her - but she's not very independent/practical on ANY level... i had awful awful thoughts when nursing DDaddy...maybe I don't need to articulate them... i spoke to a bereavement counsellor last week - and unless he was being 'nice' he said there wasn't ANYTHING he hadn't heard hundreds of times... shame/guilt/blame/regret etc etc (not saying those things apply to you!) all mixed in with grief/shock...

Sorry to hear about your dad... 76 isn't really that old & it sounds like it was a shock, very sad.

Wishing you all the best x

I'm so sorry lass

I was also 'very much my father's daughter' as you describe yourself. My Dad was my single parent through my teens and adulthood, he adored me and I worshipped him. I always dreaded the thought of his passing away. When he was dying, I made temporary peace with my toxic, horrible, inhuman older sister who had grieved him with her lifetime of dramas and cruelty. I had to put up with her in a similar way to your situation with your father's wife. I wish she hadn't been there, she made it all a lot worse. After he died she was grabby, pushy, ignorant and her usual awful self. This compounded my grief. Thankfully my DH was a rock, so I got through it. I was devastated at losing my Dad, I didn't know how I was going to cope with returning to my teaching job in a tough school. However, once the funeral was over I made very small steps, sometimes relapsing, anything could start me crying ... eventually when 2 years had passed, I realised that I had recovered (as he would have wanted me to); it was the passage of time, and being busy and distracted with work, which helped me to slowly recover. I hope this helps. It's normal to feel that pain.

Thinking of you

This will be me one day.

So, so, sorry you're going through this heartbreak. Try if you can to hold onto the fact that you had one of the best dad's in the world.

And be kind to yourself

I’m so sorry, sweetie. It’s obscenely hard. Mine died very unexpectedly in July, it’s just so damned difficult. Take care of yourself.

Well, today we register my dad’s death. The post-mortem showed it was his heart (not his head) that was the cause of death.
I can feel the anger rising. Why did it have to be my dad?
And the utter frustration that life carries on.

It's so hard, isn't it? Thinking of you today.

Thank you so much @spiderlight
His death has been registered and I have bought a card to write a goodbye letter in it to go with him.