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Original poster

Getting the rage at work - menopause?

29 replies

pinkflamingo22 · 09/10/2019 19:48

I work in a high stress profession which has a lot of petty bureaucracy and multiple changes in senior management meaning changes in policies and procedures... all of which make doing a hard job fucking really hard! Most days at work I am now seriously getting the rage over something and just desperately wanting to walk out. I'm so close, each day. They have a massive recruitment and retention issue and majority of staff are agency cause they are not stupid enough to be permanent there. I'm scared I'm going tell someone to fuck off or just walk out and be sacked. And then I won't be able to pay my mortgage.... is this menopause as I know the level of rage is irrational!

OP posts:
Doingtheboxerbeat · 09/10/2019 20:01

This is one of reasons I wouldn't say no to delaying the effects of menopause until later, say after retirement. Sadly nobody agrees with me.
Even little things such as air conditioning can

Doingtheboxerbeat · 09/10/2019 20:02

Posted too soon Hmm.
.. make it hard to be around other people for long periods of time.

EggysMom · 09/10/2019 20:08

Is it menopause? Or is it work-related stress, which doesn't have to be an overload of actual work, it can be lack of support.

Your workplace sounds the same as mine. (Curiously, almost identical.) I'm trying not to blame the menopause for my short temper, and have asked for a stress risk assessment instead.

crimsonlake · 09/10/2019 20:09

I feel exactly the same way, biting my tongue, then fuming, it cannot be good for me to keep it all in.

Soola · 09/10/2019 20:32

Sounds like stress. I’ve been through the menopause and can’t say as I ever experienced any rage.

Original poster
pinkflamingo22 · 09/10/2019 20:41

Eggysmom - what area of work are you in?

I think I'll have to speak to my GPabout it. I think I'm angry at the system that treats us like shit in an incredibly difficult job

OP posts:
namechangedasreallyneedadvice · 09/10/2019 20:42

Mine's definitely the menopause. I'm just angry at everything and anything 😔

madcatladyforever · 09/10/2019 20:46

Well it could be either really.
I remember getting the massive rage at work during the menopause and a colleague saying to me that she wasn't prepared to work with me any more if I didn't take hrt Grin
I did start hrt and realised after a couple of months I had been massively angry and over reacting.
I've always worked in a stressful environment in the NHS and the menopause almost got me the sack.
I'm not coming off it until I retire.

BooseysMom · 09/10/2019 20:53

Mine's definitely the menopause. I'm just angry at everything and anything 😔

Yep, same here. It's shit.

JoyceJeffries · 09/10/2019 20:56

Well it might be the menopause or it might be work place stress.
Have you thought about looking for a new job?

NineteenForever · 09/10/2019 20:58

So, slight sideways question here, if you're 48 and about 20 years off retirement , can you actually take HRT for say 15 years, and are you just delaying it until after you retire?

LarkDescending · 09/10/2019 21:11

It sounds very like menopause. I have been on HRT for 2 weeks now and am just starting to feel The Rage starting to ease, though life’s many frustrations persist.

NineteenForever - HRT doesn’t delay menopause, it just eases the transition. Someone gave me the example of a parachute easing the transition from the top of a cliff to the bottom!

My mother has been on HRT for 30 years, after a surgical menopause, and has no plans ever to come off it.

Cherrysoup · 09/10/2019 22:21

I was going to ask something related tonight. I had a bad day at work, 2 separate incidents upset me. I held it together til I got home but then had a complete meltdown, sobbed for ages. I was spoken to about one of the incidents today and I again cried, embarrassingly in front of my manager.

Is it the menopause? I’m not normally so quick to cry, I never have meltdowns! Can I expect the emotional horror to continue? It’s horrific!

IndieTara · 09/10/2019 22:38

@Cherrysoup crying is not unusual at this time of life!
I went onto HRT a couple of yrs ago. Few false starts then found one that worked for me. 3 months ago I tried to get my prescription for HRT only to find its out of stock in most UK pharmacies and will be until mid 2020.
Back to GP who prescribed a different HRT she said was the same dose but 2 months later I've been bleeding for 4 weeks, stomach cramps, headache memory loss and can't sleep. Went back to GP again few days ago only to get told she couldn't prescribe me anything different and I need to stop taking HRT and have a scan for the bleeding ( even tho she's 98% sure the bleeding is caused by the different HRT)
I burst into tears in her office and just sobbed!

LarkDescending · 09/10/2019 22:41

Cherrysoup It could be. I haven’t been tearful, but have had raging irritability, anxiety & low mood, lack of energy, aches and pains and bone-deep fatigue, awful insomnia and needing the loo all day and all night. I have also had bone density loss, which I would not have known about had I not suffered a succession of fractures from fairly minor mishaps. So HRT it is, for me, and fingers crossed it will make all the difference.

BinkyandBunty · 09/10/2019 22:50

At 47 and in peri for years, I can't say I've experienced that. Yet. But I work with a big group of mostly middle aged women and full on breakdowns, involving time off work and psychological treatment, aren't that uncommon.

I don't know if it's all hormonal or whether it's just a really tough stage of life and it all gets a bit much. Teenagers, dying or dependent parents, failing health, burnout from 20+ years of shitty jobs and shitty marriages.

gostiwooz · 09/10/2019 23:01

Perhaps its just that your tolerance levels have reduced. The older I get the less likely it is that I will tolerate this kind of shit from anybody.

StCharlotte · 09/10/2019 23:20

I don't know if it's all hormonal or whether it's just a really tough stage of life and it all gets a bit much. Teenagers, dying or dependent parents, failing health, burnout from 20+ years of shitty jobs and shitty marriages.

From watching a colleague in her early 50s, I'd say this is spot on. Her life has gone to hell in a handcart for all the above reasons.

It's very difficult as she's always worn her heart on her sleeve so has caused much upset with her "innocent" co-workers, to the point where one left as a direct result.

She's also had exactly the same issues as
@IndieTara with HRT shortages, bleeding, two hysteroscopies (clear thankfully) and has now had a new coil fitted. Fingers crossed it works for her.

(I'm out the other side thank God)

EggysMom · 10/10/2019 06:43

Cherrysoup I've been highly emotional since having our son (mature mum) so I blame the crying on the change of hormones during pregnancy rather than peri-menopause.

pinkflamingo22 Let's say "transport industry" though in other pertinent posts I haven't hidden the name of my employer Smile And I'm in their nothern base, if you're similar ...

Cherrysoup · 10/10/2019 12:27

I'm really fed up of the crying/emotional thing, it's embarrassing when the manager's sitting asking if he can do anything to help! Dad died 2 months ago and it's killing me.

SalamanderOnHoliday · 10/10/2019 12:37

The RAGE. Oh, yes, the Rage.

Could be a combination thing, I had a horribly stressful work environment, combined with menopause and very stressy home life.

I could have coped OK with any one thing - possibly 2 but not all 3!

HRT helped with the menopause hugely, the work stress then became easier to handle and I could face sorting out the stressful source of it. Home life sorted itself.

I think HRT was the root cause saviour though.

Zaphodsotherhead · 10/10/2019 14:20

59 here and surviving without HRT, because I'm very lucky symptom-wise.

But oh yes to the irritability and the desire to tell anyone who annoys me to fuck the fuck off!

And also minor mishaps making me want to sit down and wail like a five year old. Tiny disappointments make me come over all 'toddler' too...

BooseysMom · 10/10/2019 19:38

I'm trying to go without HRT too..i'm 47 and feel likw my body is closing down on me. Sorry i realise that sounds melodramatic but everything hurts all the time and
exercise doesn't help when it was my best weapon at one point. Walking upstairs is like climbing a mountain. Does anyone get palpitations? Also insomnia every bloody night but only mild night sweats so far.
Yes and the RAGE as well..i do and say things without thinking and can go into meltdown at any time. I'm so fed up Sad

JMAngel1 · 10/10/2019 19:50

Ashwaghanda, no sugar, intermittent fasting and DIM supplements have saved me - plus yoga. Menopause management is all about lifestyle management - it's our body's way of saying that we have to treat them well - loads of fruit, veg and water.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 10/10/2019 19:56

49 and have actually come home from work today thinking I can't go back tomorrow. Just feel an awful gnawing anxiety, and feeling incompetent and exhausted. It's a stressful job and this week has felt especially difficult. I think it's a combination of work stress and age, but it's bloody horrible.

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