Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Creepy neighbour

61 replies

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 19:13

Hi, i’m not sure if i’m posting in the right place but just wanted some advice.

I live on my own with my little dog and the back of my house looks onto the back of another row of houses, i’ve notice something strange the last few weeks from one of the bedroom windows of one of the houses.

During the day the window of this house always has the curtains closed fully however come nighttime the curtains always have a slight gap between them, the tv is usually on in this room and the light on (i can see this from my living room window).

This in itself seems totally innocent however i notice if i go into my kitchen or bedroom and turn the light on this neighbour turns off their lights and TV(i’m assuming they do this so they can lurk at the window in darkness), when i turn the lights back off the neighbour turns back on their TV and lights.

I thought this was strange so just kept mindful of this and kept having the odd glance at their window, on occasion i can see the outline of someone stood watching me. I decided to try and see whether this was just me being paranoid and decided to make it obvious to the person that i could see them, this is when the figure quickly moved away from the window which confirms my suspicions that i’m being watched by him.

Tonight i tried to get a picture of this, i went upstairs and turned the bedroom light on and watched from downstairs and as i thought the lights went out in their window, stupidly i forgot to turn off the flash on my phone and it spooked him and they moved rather quickly from the window which made it alot easier for me to see that someone was there.

My question is should i be worried about this? How likely is it to escalate to full stalking? He could have been watching me for months and it worries me because I regularly leave my backdoor open for the dog and he would obviously know this after watching me for so long.

OP posts:

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 20:56

@Lunafortheloveogod
The film for the windows sounds like a great idea as well as the motion sensor light. I just don’t want to encourage him to go to more extreme methods as i don’t know what he looks like so as far as i know he could be following me around.

Unfortunately i think he is a super creep as he must be constantly watching my house to see my lights go on for him to turn his off to watch me, from what i can tell his TV is on the opposite wall so really if he was watching TV he would be facing away from me so shouldn’t even be able to see unless he was constantly watching. I rarely go in the kitchen as it is, i’m normally in the living room so you’d think he would be bored already.

Thank you for your advise

OP posts:

isitfridayyet1 · 09/10/2019 21:07

Personally as you're renting I'd move as soon as my tenancy was up, as the guy sounds like a total weirdo! Even if you get all of these measures suggested in place he's still out there trying to get a glimpse somehow.

I had problem neighbours whilst I rented and it does make you feel on edge every single day. Not worth it at all.

MooseBeTimeForSummer · 09/10/2019 21:15

Big sign in the window saying “fuck off”?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Spooky & paranormal

BlankTimes · 09/10/2019 21:17

Who lives next door to you on either side?

Can you have a word with them and explain this man's actions, along the lines of alerting them to the fact he's watching you and could be watching them too.
They may be able to keep an eye on his behaviour too, and you'd feel safer if they were aware.

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 21:29

@isitfridayyet1
I haven’t lived here long so it’s not really much of an option to leave at the moment, it’s a nice house too so it would be such a shame.

@MooseBeTimeForSummer
Although i would love to do this, i sadly don’t think it will make a difference as he doesn’t seem to be deterred now that he knows i know.

OP posts:

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 21:31

@BlankTimes
There’s houses either side of me but the one side is at a completely different angle so i’m not sure if they could assist much but i am friendly with them so might mention it. The other neighbour is barely home and doesn’t seem very friendly so don’t think they’re an option.

OP posts:

AutumnRose1 · 09/10/2019 21:35

He might be a weird watcher. I'd ask a neighbour.

Don't leave the door unlocked!

NotGreenNotKeen · 09/10/2019 21:38

Contact police to report. Then either put up a big ass poster saying I KNOW YOURE WATCHING ME YOU PEVERT AND IVE REPORTED YOU AND YOUR ADDRESS TO THE POLICE....and/ or play him at his own game, get home one night but don't put lights on and try and video him doing it to build up evidence. Knock on his neighbours food and ask them if they know who lives next door, see if it's owned or rented to say you're concerned as you can see lots of flies in their back bedroom windows and you wonder if someone's died (gives you an excuse if your caught snooping?)... It is dodgy what you're experiencing though Xx

BlankTimes · 09/10/2019 21:39

I'd definitely mention it to the friendly neighbours.

These organisations specialise in stalkers and may be able to advise you.

www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

paladinservice.co.uk/

CatPunsFreakMeowt · 09/10/2019 21:47

Can you see a camera on his house? I wonder whether he has a camera covering your house and that’s how he knows when your lights go on/ off. If he has, the police can speak to him about it as it should only cover his land.

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 21:52

@NotGreenNotKeen
Thank you, i’m going to go into my local station and ask tomorrow. I’m worried that i will provoke him to go to extremes if i do too much as i’m always home alone.

OP posts:

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 21:53

@BlankTimes
I’m going to have a chat to them tomorrow. Thank you for the links i’m going to have a look at them. :)

OP posts:

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 22:03

@CatPunsFreakMeowt
Omg i never even thought about that, it’s totally possible and would make sense how he always knows. I’m going to check tomorrow in daylight to see if there is anything, if there is i can go to the police for definitely then however it could be in his window and i don’t think i would be able to see that. Thank you!

OP posts:

Footle · 09/10/2019 22:15

Are you sure it's a man?

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 22:19

@Footle
Not 100% but I’d say about 80% sure, this is based on the shape of the figure i’ve seen when they have moved around etc and what i’ve seen through the window when the lights are on (decor etc).

OP posts:

PurpleCrazyHorse · 09/10/2019 22:19

I would buy some prickly plants and plant them all along your border with his house. You can probably google for some ideas.

Your landlord might not mind you putting some trellis up on the fence. It's usually quite fragile too, so tricky to climb over without it breaking/making a noise.

I would definitely buy some cameras and security lighting. A ring doorbell seems like a sensible investment too. I wouldn't bother with fake cameras, it seems better to have evidence than a dummy box.

If it doesn't stop, I would move as soon as I was able to.

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 22:24

@PurpleCrazyHorse
I’m looking into the plants as this does seem like a pretty good inexpensive idea.

I’ve had loads of good ideas off everyone so i’m looking into all of them. CCTV definitely being one of them to reassure me. I’m also going to discuss with the landlord as the tenant previously was a woman i believe so she might have had the same issues.

Thanks for your help. :)

OP posts:

EileenAlanna · 09/10/2019 22:25

Would your landlord agree to a cat flap in the back door? A really small dog should have no problem with that & you really should keep your doors locked when you live alone.

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 22:31

@EileenAlanna
I highly doubt it as he was reluctant to have a pet in the house as it is, i am going to speak to him so i’ll see about it though as this could definitely help.

I keep the front door locked and the side gate is quite noisy and you have to reach over to unlock it so i would hear that being opened but with this person being at the back of my house i worry more they will come over the fence. I am keeping the back door closed as much as i can though now.
Thanks

OP posts:

Lunafortheloveogod · 09/10/2019 22:44

I’d actually say a flaps a bad idea, if he’s properly nutty there’s nothing to stop him luring the dog up the back of the garden n coming round carrying him like “oh the little bugger escaped” or keeping till you come out. Also if it’s not a chip/collar one you get occasional brave cat visitors.

If you’ve had any letters for the old tenant you could check if they’d posted anything on social media about it without even asking the landlord, who again might be reluctant to say that number 29’s a weird.

If it seems like he’s watching for a light I’d go with a timer on the light so it’s on but you wouldn’t always be in there for him to watch even if he has a camera then it’d be a lot of waiting for no reward (you could check using the timer and waiting upstairs to see what triggers him to turn too ie light on is it 5 Or instant and does he stay when nothings happening)

PixieDustt · 09/10/2019 22:44

Oh this is creepy OP and you must feel so frightened. Definitely talk to the police.

Ring doorbell sounds like a good idea!
Could you ask the landlords to put a burglar alarm in with alarms on windows and doors? If there anything like my landlords they probably won't! 🙄

My NDN has tinted windows you literally can't see a thing. I wondered last year why he was always stood at the same spot in the kitchen for like a week... i figured out in the end he uses a silhouette cut out when he is away and places it in the kitchen! Very home alone style! Could you try the same thing?

Lunafortheloveogod · 09/10/2019 22:48

Oh there’s also pull apart alarms, some of these are ok outdoors too but the minute a gate/door/windows opened if it’s switched on it screams like hell till it’s reconnected. You put it somewhere daft like the bottom end of the gate so they wouldn’t see it instantly.

I’d be looking at moving though with it just being rented. A lot of work to prove he’s a danger and more to stop him

funkylittleboatrace · 09/10/2019 22:50

Get this cut out!

DerbyRacer · 09/10/2019 22:52

Definitely speak to the police. I was advised to when I had a creepy neighbour. I eventually decided to move. I heard recently that creepy neighbour tried to force his way in to new neighbours home and was held by the police over night. You really need to speak to the police about your situation.

Original poster

JackieD0509 · 09/10/2019 22:55

@Lunafortheloveogod
These are all good points and ideas thank you, i have so much to consider now with all these ideas people have suggested.

Moving isn’t an option at the moment but if this carries on i will be getting out as soon as my contract is over.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3