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Original poster

Husband died without a will

81 replies

ffswhatnext · 09/10/2019 10:36

I found out about a week ago that my husband died without a will.
As far as I know, everything would come to myself/our children.

However, we split years ago and he has since made a new life (no children involved not that it's relevant) and has joint assets with his partner.

Firstly I want to reassure her I don't want anything. It's up to our children if they want anything.
Secondly, how can I help sort this out quickly?

She hasn't approached me or our children. I understand that she is grieving and trying to sort everything. Plus she might not be aware that a shit storm is about to head her way. He was a big believer in the common-law wife/husband fallacy.

But I also want to do it without intruding. None of us has spoken to her before.

OP posts:

StCharlotte · 09/10/2019 19:42

So you're skint and he never paid maintenance? Credit to you OP, you're a better woman than I am.

zafferana · 09/10/2019 19:50

Get legal advice and FGS don't contact her or make any rash promises. At the moment you have no idea what's going on, what you will inherit, etc. But if there is an estate then that estate rightly belongs to your DC. It may go to you initially, but I really wouldn't be so hasty to give it away, as it's really not yours to give away. Their DF sounds like a deadbeat and if his estate is all they're going to get from him, then if I was their DM I'd make damn sure they got it! I certainly wouldn't be eager to give to a woman you don't even know and who had no clue that her partner was married to someone else.

AnneKipanki · 09/10/2019 19:59

Is it clear that his CLW knew he was still legally married @PicsInRed ?

AnneKipanki · 09/10/2019 20:00

Sorry @PicsInRed misread the comment at the end . It does indeed suck to be her .
Apologies.

Elieza · 09/10/2019 20:29

If she isn’t his wife and you are then it could be you are the only legal spouse and therefore entitled to his pension. Depends on the pension company’s rules. If that’s the case she’ll get nothing either way so you may as well get the money. You can split it up/ with her and dcs/keep it as you see fit.

Ferretyone · 09/10/2019 20:30

@ffswhatnext

Please read the eloquent summary by @Seadragonusgiganticusmaximus who sets out some very valid points as to inheritance and inheritance tax. As said you can revoke your share but that has implications. It does - to an extent - depend on how much is involved. The cohabitant does not have much [if any] right in this although any children of the union may have. If they owned property together then the usual holding is "tenants in common" whereby each has a right to - say - half the equity and can leave their half as they wish [will or intestacy]. If they owned as "joint tenants" then the property passes outside of intestacy by way of "survivourship". You will need in any event to sort out the estate which is a long-winded procedure. It's a long while since I had anything to do with it but if I recall the first thing is to advertise for any will made during the marriage.

You will almost certainly need to take professional advice from a specialist and probably costly lawyer

AdaColeman · 09/10/2019 20:31

Don't make any rash promises to his partner about how funds will be distributed, think about your own future.

Your state pension could be very reduced as you probably looked after children rather than working full time, and you probably haven't been able to build up a private pension for yourself. So consider setting money aside to help you in your old age, before you distribute it to others.

Start keeping a record of all your expenses related to his estate, even small things like phone calls soon add up. Also gather together your own paperwork, marriage certificate etc. Did he have any life insurance? That might be worth checking up on.

VanGoghsDog · 09/10/2019 21:59

If they owned property together then the usual holding is "tenants in common" whereby each has a right to - say - half the equity and can leave their half as they wish [will or intestacy].

They could hold property this way but it's far more usual, in fact it's the default, to hold as joint tenants. To hold as tic (which is entirely possible and valid) you have to specifically make that choice and log the details with the land registry. For joint tenants, you don't have to do anything so it's actually the default.

Original poster

ffswhatnext · 09/10/2019 23:32

This is really giving me something to think about. One of the dc is fuck him and his money. The other is take the lot.

I don’t know if he was too much of a coward to actually do a will or if it’s a final duck you to me, knowing I would have to deal with it all.

But it’s done and I need to ensure the dc’s get what’s theirs.

Pension wise I will be fine. I’ve always planned for my old age. Being skint is a temporary glitch and will hopefully be sorted way before all this crap is. Although from what I’ve read it might not be a choice.

Divorce we are both to blame for not doing it. And I will be advising others don’t put it off. You cannot be sure the other person will sort their stuff out with a will.

OP posts:

decisionsindecisions · 09/10/2019 23:37

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/ - OP you are the person entitled to apply for Letters of Administration. But you will need full details of the assets including joint assets that are held by him and his partner.

She might be entitled to make a claim. She has six months from the date of the Grant to do this. www.ashfords.co.uk/personal-legal-services/disputed-wills-and-trusts/inheritance-act-claims

Be very, very careful and take some proper legal advice.

springydaff · 10/10/2019 00:22

I wouldn't wait iiwy. I've waited and been respectful - and got done over.

ForalltheSaints · 10/10/2019 06:56

Seek legal advice. And make a will yourself if you have not done so already.

Irisloulou · 10/10/2019 07:10

How awkward.
I’d fight for the children’s share, and I’d Want the pension for the lost maintenance.

Do get legal advise. I think you need to be careful about not being too nice.

SesameOil · 10/10/2019 08:19

If it was a fuck you to you OP, it wasn't a very good one!

I'd agree with others, do a land registry search for the property online now so you know what you're dealing with. And before making any decisions about what to decline and give away, consider not only any tax implications but also any benefit implications. Not my area, but if you might need eg pension credit or housing benefit in the future, if you've chosen to deprive yourself or income or capital your award could be reduced. You aren't necessarily allowed to decide to take the state's money when other sources are available to you. Not sure if this would count but find out. CAB will know.

And wow, what a mess. Another lesson about the differences between marriage and cohabiting.

0lga · 10/10/2019 08:29

Add message | Report | Message poster AdaColeman Wed 09-Oct-19 20:31:23
Don't make any rash promises to his partner about how funds will be distributed, think about your own future
Your state pension could be very reduced as you probably looked after children rather than working full time, and you probably haven't been able to build up a private pension for yourself. So consider setting money aside to help you in your old age, before you distribute it to others

This. You have to think about all the cost of having children, past and present. The majority impact is often on your own career, savings and pension. You enabled him to earn all this money by taking on ALL the costs of his children.

I think you are morally entitled to some of this money and your children certainly are.

zafferana · 10/10/2019 09:06

Totally agree with @0lga. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face! This man gave you fuck all and left you to raise your (that your plural) DC on your own and no financial help. If you are now due a chunk of money from him, I'd bloody well take it, late though it is and after your DC have left home. Chances are your pension will be much smaller than it should be, due to him leaving you in the lurch, so this is your due.

Original poster

ffswhatnext · 10/10/2019 09:40

One of the reasons I have to keep this amicable initially at least, I don’t know the address. Where he worked or anything.
Contact wasn’t in person for years.

Having slept on it. Took onboard everything said here. And of course the dc’s,

I am taking the lot as are both my dc’s.

As for my will it was updated the first time the day after we split and has been updated over the years.

I’ve also advices the dc to say nothing about the estate and to get their own independent advice.

And I never considered that she stood by the guy knowing he had kids who he never supported financially or emotionally.

Going to be honest the change also came after seeing his now very public fb. If we hadn’t seen this then I would have gifted her some.

OP posts:

gospelsinger · 10/10/2019 09:48

I had always assumed that it would be split equally between you and children in event of no will. Don't deny your children their inheritance.

Dyrne · 10/10/2019 10:06

ffswhatnext I think you’re doing the right thing for your family.

Expect to be treated like the bad guy here. You absolutely are not. The bad guy is your husband who couldn't be arsed to pay a negligible amount to write a will to make sure his partner was looked after. He has a moral duty to his children - maybe finally he can provide for them in death as he managed to avoid it for so long in life.

PicsInRed · 10/10/2019 10:07

I am taking the lot as are both my dc’s

Good for you. Absolutely the right decision.

Damntheman · 10/10/2019 10:10

What was it your saw on his fb?

EileenAlanna · 10/10/2019 11:11

Take screenshots of his FB, whatever it was that's been posted.
There's bound to have been condolences passed on & that's as good a place to start tracking down his employer etc. as any. Google is name as well to search for death/funeral notices in local papers.
If you know roughly where he lived spend a day searching the Electoral Register, libraries hold copies I believe. I traced my exh this way. Once I had his address I went to the Land Registry & got a copy of the Deeds plus a copy of the conveyancing documents when I spotted that his solicitor handling his divorce & who stated to the Court that he lived at a different address & owned no property was the same solicitor who did the conveyancing. That came in very handy.

Speed is needed for some things. There was a Thread here a little while ago where someone else claimed a works pension & the widow couldn't get it changed to her, so don't drag your heels now you've made a decision - the right decision in my mind

SesameOil · 10/10/2019 11:25

What a useless irresponsible arsehole your ex was. The house might well be a joint tenancy as that's more common than not these days iirc, but I bet he was one of those who never bothered filling in any paperwork for his pension to go to his partner. Nearly all of them allow an unmarried partner to benefit these days, but you have to fill it in. He seems exactly the sort that wouldn't have bothered.

What did you see on fb?

Encyclo · 10/10/2019 11:42

Absolutely correct decision OP.
I'd do the same.

WhatToDo999 · 10/10/2019 11:49

@ffswhatnext - have PM'd you x

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