If you work FT with children, please share your daily schedule...

[mommathatwearspink]

If you work FT with children, please could you share your daily routine with me please?

I have just accepted a full time position (previously 5 days but around school drop off / pick up so classes as PT). The role is the step up I have been waiting for and a fantastic opportunity but I’m starting to worry how we will fit it all in. To make things worse, DP jokingly made a comment about how he thinks i haven’t made the right decision. My argument is that I want a career too and shouldn’t hold back just to make family life generally easier.

I have one DS who goes to nursery and DD who is in school. DD will go to breakfast and after school club. DP is unable to collect due to it being a works vehicle so I will still have to collect on the way home. We’ll probably arrive home around 5:45pm.

I think some kids do struggle but I don’t think you can know until you try!

We got an au pair when I went back full time when youngest hit school age - although this was partly because full time for me was actually 48 hours and DH was away 2-3 nights per week. I thought it would be fine, DH was a bit doubtful but happy to back me.
Au pair made all the logistics easy and my third born is not gregarious and prefers some time not surrounded by other kids from school so he could go to the park with au pair and play with school kids there if he chose but sit quietly with the dog and a book/tv if he wanted some quiet. Also easier to fit in after school hobbies of choice at or away from school. Cost less than 5 days after-school care club for 3 kids! Also online shopping, amazon prime and batch cooking helped.

In the end though, I did step back down - missed too many school events and was working evenings/nights at times dividing myself between 3 kids in the edges of the day was not enough. Youngest became clingyer etc. I absolutely believed I could work full time once all 3 in school but I was too knackered to address their needs well in the evenings/weekends and my youngest particularly demonstrated he was struggling. So, whilst I think loads of families can and do manage with both parents full-time, it really depends on your kids’ personalities and your exact set up how well it works for them (and you!).

5 yo DD

?? DD wakes hp, sneaks downstairs, puts telly on low volume and makes breakfast (cereal, yoghurt or fruit) trailing half of whatever it is on the floor

6.20 - wake up, clean up, feed child again, dress, have coffee etc
7.40 - leave for breakfast club
7.55 - drop child, off, race to car, hope there's no traffic as have to be at work by 8.30
8.30 - start work
5ish - finish work and head home.
5.30 - feed child
6.15 - start bedtime routine
7 - DD is asleep or reading to herself
7.30 - eat
8-9 - catch up on housework/life admin
9-11 - usually boot up work laptop and do some work in front of TV

DH works 7-3 so he's out of the house just after I wake up and will do school pick up from after school club, he also does dinner most nights and will eat earlier than me as has to be in bed by 9pm to be up for 5.20am.

Weekends usually involve lots of family time, whether that's an outing, a trip to the park or movie afternoon, as we need to catch up on time together.

House is a tip, washing basket is never empty, but we laugh a lot and enjoy each other so it's all ok.

I recently took on a new role which lets me work from home a couple of times a week which has made the world of difference as can drop DD straight to class instead of breakfast club and do a bit of cleaning in my lunch break.

My dp works away so for me it's:
6.20 my alarm goes off. I have breakfast, get myself quickly ready
6.50 wake up dc's if they aren't already awake and get them dressed
7.10 leave the house
7.20 get to childminders, stay and settle them in
7.30 leave for work
6pm back to dc's
6.10 back home and put on something to eat, do homework with ds while this is cooking
6.40ish eat food
7 play/tv
7.45 shower and bed for kids.

Once you get into a routine it's fine, school uniforms and clothes for the week are ready before Monday so I don't have to worry about washing and drying clothes in the evening.
Days when I can wfh I have an extra hour every morning and evening and clean the house during lunch break!
Completely understand you wanting a career aswell as kids. I don't feel guilty because my children are such happy children so I know this is ok for them.

6:00 - I wake up and get ready in peace.
7:00 - wake kids. Dress toddler and brush teeth. Give older DS (age 12) breakfast and make sure he’s getting ready
7:15 - leave house. Older DS at home and responsible for getting himself to school.
7:30 - drop toddler at nursery.
7:45 - arrive at work.
15:00 - DS1 walks home and lets himself in.
17:30 - I finish work.
17:45 - collect toddler from nursery.
18:00 - arrive home. Make quick tea for the kids.
18:30 - make my dinner whilst kids play.
19:00 - bath time for toddler.
19:30 - toddler to bed. Homework with DS2 and pack bag, make lunches for next day, lay clothes out for morning.
20:30 - DS1 forced to shower and get in bed.
21:00 - my shower.
21:30 - get in bed, watch some tv for an hour.

You’ll be fine OP! It helps to be organised and don’t worry about the kids being tired. Plenty have long days in childcare and don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty.

The above is followed rigidly with the exception of Wednesdays and Fridays when DS1 has clubs which his dad takes him to.

I’m a single parent to two primary DCs and work full time.

Best thing I did was buy enough uniform for the week plus one extra. Now do a big wash and tumble on a Friday night, rather than washes in the week.

Then all the usual stuff like prepare snacks, school bags etc the night before. I’ve also ensured the DC get themselves dressed in the morning before coming down - my youngest is in reception and manages pretty well. Mine are up early so mornings aren’t too bad - up at 6, Shower for me, downstairs and make breakfast whilst they get dressed, 15 mins random sort it time than out the door. Evenings are pretty much pick up, home and supper, shower and youngest bedtime then eldest bedtime. Eldest does most of his homework on the weekend - spellings and times tables sometimes on the morning. Must admit I’m fairly relaxed about homework!

I do wfh one day a week now which makes a big difference. If you were able to do that long term it might help.

Oh and online shopping and doing a meal planner on a Sunday! I now have 5 weeks of meals planned that I rotate ( I’m not an organised person so this has come as a surprise to me to!).

DD (now 13) did 8-6 in a nursery from the age of 2 and thrived on it.

IME it is slightly easier getting a primary aged kid out of bed than a 13 year old.

Up at 5:30 for coffee and BBC breakfast business briefing. Exercise 5:55. Shower 6:25. Wake DD up several times between 6:45 and 7:15. Out of the house by 7:45.

Joyce has nailed it on tips for an easy life. I would add a robot vacuum if you think it would help. I returned mine as I had a very hairy dog that it couldn't cope with even though I got one with the biggest dust bit I could find. My sister (no pets just kids) says her floors have never been so clean!

Our days vary slightly but as a general rule....

6.15 wake (sometimes snooze for 10mins!)
Wake DS, downstairs for breakfast.
Check Homework is done/test spellings and pack bag.
7am - upstairs to bathroom - shower/get dressed/teeth
7.30 get ready to go (shoes on/coat on/hair/goodbye dog etc recheck bags!)
7.45 leave
8.10 arrive school
Mon 4pm DS finishes school home then to music lesson
eat/bed by 7.30
Tues collect at 5pm due to clubs - home by 5.30pm - hw till 6.15pm - eat 6.30 - tv 7pm - bed 7.30pm
Weds - collect 5.45 - home by 6.15 - eat 6.45 - bed by 7.30
Thurs - collect 5pm due to clubs - same as Tuesday
Fri - collect 5pm
Always in bed by 7.30 - sometimes 7.15/7pm if he's tired.

He's 9

PS I have a cleaner. She is amazing....

During the week we only feed the kids a supper of toast or cereal - they go to breakfast club, have lunch at school and dinner with the childminder. It's a massive help.

So,
Up and out by 8am. I drop at breakfast club then head to work. Dh collects dc from minder. He then does the dishwasher and washing machine. I get home 6pm. We have an hour of family time. Kids have supper. They go to bed. Dh usually does supper and bedtimes and I cook dinner. Laundry into tumble dryer and dishwasher emptied.

Weekends we do - big shop, bed changes, vacuuming, homework, any leftover laundry (usually get it done in the week).

I've flexed my hours (7-4) so DH does drop off at breakfast club and I do pick up from after school club whilst DH works on later. DD knows no different & definitely isn't exhausted 🙄🙄 she loves after school club especially as she gets to play, bake, go to IT room, etc with friends. DD also goes to homework club sometimes which then means when I pick her up at 5 the rest of the evening is for us.
Week nights are easy dinners, I save the cooking for weekends. I do minimal ironing (mainly school shirts & a few work things for me!) and accept that the house isn't spotless.
Congrats on new job!

6am-get up/dress/make up
6:30-wake and breastfeed baby
7-check teenager and 9 year old are up
7-7:30-breakfast etc. Teenager gets school bus
7:45-nursery/school drop off
8-5-work
(1ish express milk)
5:15-pick up baby from nursery and middle child from after school club.
5:45-home, top up breast feed the baby
6-cook and eat dinner
6:30 onwards-older two to clubs etc
6:45-baby bath, breastfeed and bed
8-middle child to bed if no clubs
8:30-bed if clubs
9-teenager to bed if no clubs
9:45 bed if clubs
9-10:30-school work
10:30-shower
10:45-washload on, last washload hung up
11-bed!!

Housework done at the weekends, standards fairly low in term time, higher in holiday:)

Our routine is:

6am - I get up and get ready for work, dcs get up, get themselves ready for school and watch tv downstairs.

6.30am - dcs and I have breakfast.

6.50am - I leave for work to start by 7.15am, DH gets up, makes packed lunches.

8.30am - DH takes DC to school, he then has 1.5 hours free to clean the house, do a food shop, get any DIY done and run errands before he starts work.

3.15pm I leave work to pick up DCs. We get home any time between 4.30pm and 5.30pm depending on whether we walk home or take the bus and whether we go to the park after school or not.

As soon as we're home I make the quickest dinner possible, unless DH has had a spare minute to prepare something in the morning. Then its shower, brush teeth, story and in bed by 7pm for the youngest. The eldest stays up reading until 7.30pm then goes to bed. I clean the house put on a load of washing and collapse into bed by 10pm. DH gets home at around 10ish and will usually do a bit of cleaning/tidying too if I haven't had time to do it all.

Its exhausting but works for us because DH and I share the housework and childcare equally and neither of us feel our job is more important than the other's.

Congrats on the job!

My routine usually goes

0530 up and shower, get dressed, do make up, make pack up for me and Dd if she isn't in dinners

0700 get Dd up and dressed, teeth cleaned etc

0730 practice spellings / quick read of book with dd

0745 leave for school run

0800 drop Dd at breakfast club

0820 arrive at work

1630 leave work, drive to dm to collect dd

1645 get home and make teas for Dd if dm hasn't fed her

1730 clear up dinner things, Dd tends to play or watch TV while I do pots

1800 reading/spellings with Dd

1845 Dd into pj's and snuggle in bed, stories and then she either has her music on or TV on timer and I sort my tea out, out washing on/tidy house

1930 lights out for dd, cook my tea

2100 head to bed, watch crap or read til fall asleep

Routine varies on a Tuesday as I get home later due to running a volunteer group and Wednesdays as dd does an activity so her dad collects her and feeds her and I pick her up after.

Hope that helps op.

It is infinitely doable, but I strongly suggest meal planning and slow cookers for easy dinners!

Oh and make sure your dh/dp helps around the house!

Agile what you said didn't affect me at all because I'm an adult and I'm comfortable with my choices 🤷‍♀️

Food woes no guilt here with using before and after school club. It meant as a LP I could work to provide my child with housing and food. I'd have felt guilty not providing those things.

Our routine on work days is:

Me up at 5:20, exercise or another half hour in bed, get ready, bit of laundry. DD up around 6:15, dressed and a cuddle / story before I leave at around 6:40. Then DH takes her to nursery for 7:30 and goes to work.

DH does pick up at 6, then I’m home around 7. Have half an hour play with DD then bath, stories and bed while the other parent cooks dinner. DH and I have an hour or so together. Dishes, tidying, laundry drying and bags packed before bed. I try and do at least one pick up or nursery drop off per week using flexi time so I stay in the loop.

I’m lucky enough to be able to do compressed hours so have a weekday off. On this day I get as much housework done as I can first thing in the morning, then have the rest of the day with DD, out and about, visiting family, sometimes food shopping. I try and do a bit of ironing at some point too though I’ve reduced this down. If there’s any scope for either of you to do this I definitely recommend it. I feel like we’d still manage if my employer hadn’t agreed to this though. We’d just have to do a little bit of housework each night. The organised mum method might work for you.

Rest of the housework is done on a Saturday first thing, and we designate one Saturday a month for DIY type things and other chores. The rest of the weekend is for leisure, with DH and I also taking turns at some free time to ourselves.

DD has done nursery 4 days a week from 7:30-6 since she was around 1. Yeah, she’s tired when she gets in. I see that as good thing - she’s had an active, fun-filled and stimulating day and doesn’t require any pity from concerned posters. I wouldn’t describe her as being exhausted, and would be concerned about her health if she was showing signs of exhaustion by 3:30. Still, I suppose all kids are different, we know them best and we each do what suits our family. No guilt in this house.

Good luck OP, you can make it work. Organisation is key!

I work pretty much full time ( 2 shorter days for school pick up) . It can feel busy but I find it helps that I work for myself ( so I'm only letting myself down if I procrastinate) and I do all my 'office work' at home.

Days are:

6am up, feed cat, unload dishwasher/ washing machine. DH takes ages to get ready and catches train I sit in bed drinking tea.
6.30 Kids get up and watch a million episodes of dangermouse while I get ready.
7.10 breakfast
7.50 to school ( we have a long, 2 school run).
8.30- 3.15 or 6pm I work
Get home, if an early day (home by 4.30) we do homework, hang out, have tuition, go to swimming lessons, do music practice . Later evenings we all eat tea together, DD goes to Guides. I wash up and do bathtime etc. DS settles to bed at about 8-8.30. DD reads Ave goes to bed at 9.
Evening- I have a bath, might go out to a meeting, catch up on admin/ emails. Watch Mad Men ( there are many episodes, it takes commitment!).
DH gets home at 8. Works 1 or 2 days a week from home but often travels overseas. We have no family help nearby and DS has SEN. Sometimes it's really, really hard. But it's not as hard as my non working friends seem to think.
We still get time together, we do nice stuff at the weekends, DH and I work well as a team. We have a cleaner and a gardener. That helps! It's fine.

One difference for me is that I don't work school holidays. Massive respect to those of you who do!

My schedule is pretty similar to others on here, I get myself ready first, if the kids are awake then they just play until I’m ready then they get showered and dressed then breakfast. I won’t repeat my schedule as it pretty much follows everyone else’s.

What I will say is you need to be organised, uniforms ready for the week so you don’t need to do a midweek wash if you can avoid it.
Spellings/homework done as dinner is cooking
Check bags as soon as you get in and sign slips and put straight back into back, transfer the info to calendar

I bulk buy at the butchers and freeze it, they do easy meals at our village one like stir frys all ready prepped, seasoned and chopped with all the veg so I keep a few in the freezer all the time so I can get them out the night before to defrost and it’s a quick healthy dinner after work. I also batch cook so again I don’t need to cook during the week and can jst defrost as we need it. Accept that it’s not going to be culinary masterpieces during the week and some nights fish fingers and smiley faces will have to be acceptable with beans as a nod to one of the five a day!

Have a selection of age appropriate gifts in for the party’s you forget till the last minute.

Keep a stash of £1 coins in the house and some of the small brown envelopes so you can send them in to school as needed for whatever they’re wearing stripes for that week

Also both of mine have been in nursery since 9 months, 7.30am to 5.15. It’s not a problem, they cope fine with it and both loved going and transitioned to school with no issue, same as PP, if I manage to get away early and collect my older son from school he is not impressed, he’d rather go to Afterschool club!

There really is no need to be an arse FoodWoes.

@FoodWoes do you feel guilty that you're modelling outdated, sexist stereotypes of a 21st century family to your children? Do you not worry that you're teaching them to settle for mediocrity instead of a fulfilling career of their own that doesn't mean they need to rely on a man bringing in the money required to live?

Me
Youngest FT nursery
Oldest school breakfast club and after school club (sometimes after school activities he chooses to do)
We leave house 735 and get back 610
Bed at 7, except they’re wired and it’s always a nightmare
This arrangement has been fine until this school year when it has become apparent how hard it is to get homework etc in one evening time slot along with wriggling small child.
It’s a team sport
You need to accept something will slip (in my case my house is a tip)
Have back ups
You and partner need to get a plan together, it’s not a one person responsibility when there are two parents involved

N.B. in case it wasn't obvious, my post was LIGHTHEARTED. Parents shouldn't be judging each other with the exception of parents who neglect or actively harm their kids, smoke around them, hit them etc. In which cases judge away!

5am DP off to work
6am I get up and ready
645am kids up
740am kids in breakfast club
8am I'm at work
3pm kids in after school club
430pm I leave work
5pm kids collected by me
530pm DP home
Dinner, baths, ready, homework, housework, laundry etc
7pm kids in bed
8-9pm we go to bed

This is a basic day. DP also works some weekends. Others involve other clubs, swimming, gymnastics, dance. I have to say I don't know know we do it. Our house is not as tidy and clean as id like. DP refuses to have a cleaner to help us. Everyone else seems to make it look easy, apparently I do but it really isn't.

@Havelock I have a job, Thankyou. Why would you assume I don't?