If you work FT with children, please share your daily schedule...

[mommathatwearspink]

If you work FT with children, please could you share your daily routine with me please?

I have just accepted a full time position (previously 5 days but around school drop off / pick up so classes as PT). The role is the step up I have been waiting for and a fantastic opportunity but I’m starting to worry how we will fit it all in. To make things worse, DP jokingly made a comment about how he thinks i haven’t made the right decision. My argument is that I want a career too and shouldn’t hold back just to make family life generally easier.

I have one DS who goes to nursery and DD who is in school. DD will go to breakfast and after school club. DP is unable to collect due to it being a works vehicle so I will still have to collect on the way home. We’ll probably arrive home around 5:45pm.

My eldest did after school club and breakfast club from reception. He loved it, was not tired, never been the soft type though tbh. He used to do football straight after after school club for an hour too! Clubs are just playing and eating, no different to what they do at home 🤷‍♀️

I only have the one DD (3) and DH does his share of drop offs and pick up when he's home, but when he's working away...

6:30 get up, ready
7 get DD up
7:20 leave house
7:30 nursery drop off
8:15-8:30 arrive at work (traffic dependant)
4:50 leave work
5:50ish nursery pick up
6ish home, snack for DD, housework, dinner, breathe
7:30-8 DD bed
8 - ? Marking, planning, bath/shower, bed at some point, pray she stays asleep.

5.30 - wake up and either run or get on the turbo
6 - get myself ready (shower and dressed)
6.45 get dd up, give her a bottle of milk and change her
7.30 drop off at crèche (dp, au pair and I take it in turns)
7.45 get to work or earlier if I’m not doing drop off
4.00 dd is picked up from crèche by one of us
4.30 - 6 some play related activity or a trip to the park
6 - a small dinner/snack (she eats in nursery)
6.30 - bath
7.00 - story time
7.30 - bed

We have the rest of the evening to ourselves.

Usually:

7am me up
7:30am DH up
7:45am DD up
DH gets DD breakfasted, teeth brushed and hair done then DD gets dressed
8:45am leave and drop DD at school
9:10-9:30 arrive at work (I cover different sites)
DH picks up DD at 3:30/4:30/5:30 depending on what the after school activity is.
I leave work anytime between 5pm and 8pm. Whoever is home sorts food etc.
9pm DD in bed
Sort out food/clothes for next day/telly/bath/anything else that needs doing
Midnight me in bed
2am DH in bed

DD is 9. DH is self employed working for clients all over the world, so he works at odd times. Which works out pretty well.

I don't see how it's a terrible thing to say when all my kids at nursery age have been exhausted come 3.30 after a standard day of school. Addins hours before AND after IS going to tire them out.

I didn't say she was a bad parent. I just said could they work the hours so the kids only have to do before or after club. Not both.

You're all obviously feeling guilty about it to recasting with so much hostility.

React*

DD(3) has been doing 8.5 hour days at nursery since she was 1. She loves it, sleeps 8-7 and doesn't nap in the day, so I'm sure she'll be fine in school clubs when the time comes. They adapt pretty fast.

My DD tried to hide if I get to daycare early because she doesn’t want to go home yet 🤷‍♀️

I think the biggest change (I was off for the best part of 2 years) is accepting that if you both work full time then you are both equal parents and have shared responsibility for childcare and household tasks. This might be more tricky if your DH is used to you being the primary parent.

Our typical day looks something like:
Everyone up at 7am.
I get DD ready whilst DH showers.
He drops her at daycare for 7.45am, where she has breakfast then rides to work on one of those bike schemes.
I then get ready and drive to work for 8.30am.
I leave at 4.30pm and pick DD up on my way home, or DH does it if I’m working late.

We online shop, have a cleaner and who deals with childcare emergencies is usually a 50:50 split judged on who has the least on that day. DH does the bulk of things like doctors appointments because he gets more time off than me. We take turns cooking dinner and cleaning up. The other one does bath time.

It’s busy but we feel like we have a fairly good balance!

I don't see how it's a terrible thing to say when all my kids at nursery age have been exhausted come 3.30 after a standard day of school.

Maybe you aren’t feeding your children a nutritious enough diet, FoodWoes, or ensuring that they are active enough, if they can’t cope with a standard day of school. Just a thought. I’d be worried there was something seriously wrong with my D.C. if they were exhausted by 3.30 every day.

No so nice when someone else judges your parenting choices, is it?

Foodwoes, keep your nasty comments and sad faces to yourself.

Food woes I have 2 kids, neither one were tired starting school. They've been in nursery from a young age, school was no change to them. I know lots of people talk of this tiredness but hand on heart my kids weren't like it, you can't expect all children to be the same. No guilt here.

Thank you everyone, you honestly don’t realise how helpful this is to me!

No guilt here.

1 Y5 and 1 y8 here ... now they are in different schools, I look back on my days of having both in the same primary with fondness...

Anyway, our routine is usually

DH up and out by 6.30
I get up 6.30, wake kids and vaguely supervise progress from 7
Leave house 7.30 to drop DS1 at breakfast club and DS2 comes into town with me and then he walks final bit to school
I get on train - anything from 30 min to 2 hour journey depending on which office I am in
After school club - DH or I collect by 6. I have to put it in his diary when it is his turn - either because I am working late or actually away (average 1 night/week)
DS2 either walks home, gets a lift from a friend or is at rugby training and can be collected around 6ish

And we have 4x swimming sessions each week

I do all washing at the weekends, online grocery shopping - have a cleaner and an ironing lady

Dinners are something quick that can be stuck in the oven ... or ready prepared and frozen so can just be stuck in the microwave. I also confess to the use of the odd pot noodle

As noted - the main thing is an expectation that you and DH will SHARE this responsibility
Plus buy in / outsource everything you can

06:00 - get up, coffee then shower
07:00 - get children up, wash, breakfast, dressed
08:00 - bundle them into car
08:10 - drop D3 (3) at nursery and then drive to DD school
08:40 - drop DD (4) at school
08:55 - get to work
17:00 - leave work
17:10 - get DD from afterschool club
17:25 - get DS from nursefy
17:45 - get home
18:15 - go through children's reading books from school
18:30/19:00 - dinner
19:00/20:00 - bathtime, story, bed
20:00/21:00 - straighten the house up, set out clothes for the morning, washing machine o, dishes done etc
21:30 collapse in sofa
10:30 bed, yay!

I batch cook at the weekend so we have home cooked food throughout the week with one or two easy dinners such as pasta and pesto, emergency freezer food etc.

The kids have five sets of everything for uniform so I can wash, dry and iron on Sunday and it's all hung up on a separate rail with socks, tights and underwear for each day too. I work out what I will wear each day for work and also have that hanging up on Sunday ready for the week too.

DP works evenings and weekends so I just find being super organised makes it so much easier.

@FoodWoes

I could have predicted you’d say that
The typical response is ‘you must feel guilty’. How smug of you and I’m sure you felt very superior writing that!

I don’t feel guilty at all for working - I love teaching and my dc are very happy.
The reason people have jumped on your original post is that it was judgmental, ignorant and bitchy.

OP didn’t ask for opinions on her dc’s Childcare she asked for working mums to give their routines. You haven’t touched a nerve because we all secretly want to be stay at home mums (which incidentally I was when dc we’re little), you’ve touched a nerve because you’ve commented on a thread not aimed at people like you just to make OP feel like shit. Your
second post has a snarky undertone and is evidence that actually you’re probably being goady as well as smug.
You’ve actually pissed me off because there might be some mums on here who have to work and feel guilty and your judgy comments are unkind and unnecessary.
Don’t keep commenting to make OP feel worse - just leave the thread!

You're all obviously feeling guilty about it to recasting with so much hostility.

I didn't react to you, I ignored you, though if I'd reacted my comments would have been similar to those you're responding to. Just FYI, there's no guilt here, I just think you're a judgemental dickhead. Hth.

@mommathatwearspink sorry for derailing the thread with my ranting
Glad you’re finding it useful

Both me and DH get up at 6.30 with DS (20 months) and DD (4.5). We make breakfast and hang out until 7.30, then all head upstairs. We get the kids dressed, and DH and I shower and get ready for work. All leave the house at 8.20 (DH drops DS at nursery, I drop DD at school). Both adults arrive at work at 9/9.10.

Both adults leave work at 5/5.15. I collect DS, DH collects DD. All home at 5.45/6. Make dinner and finish it by 6.30/6.40. DS goes to bed at 7. DD watches TV until 7.30, then goes to bed (DH and I rotate who puts which child to bed). Both DH and I are back downstairs by 7.50/8. Most evenings we work until 10 then go to bed.

3 days a week I am gone out of the house for work from just after 6am until 7pm (or later if I have a late meeting, tonight I’m getting home at 9). On those days, dh does nursery and school run (drop offs at 8:30 and 8:45) and then picks dd up at 3 from school and then ds from nursery at 4:45 (sometimes he needs to do some extra work after picking dd up which is easy to do with her in tow but not a toddler). Home by 5, dinner at 6:30, they go up for bath/bedtime at 7-7:30. I do some work sometimes after they go to bed as I work compressed hours.

One day a week I work from home, do school and nursery run, back home by 9. I work until 2:45, pick dd up at 3, pick ds up at 4:45, then home by 5.

I have Fridays off with our toddler and do the school run this day, so home with dd by a bit past 3.

It’s completely doable and I much prefer working full time to part time in my role as I often have to work late anyway, so I might as well get paid for it! But I really do need dh’s support to share the load equally.

We each put in our time doing the school run, homework, cooking and cleaning and bedtime for when the other needs to work or travel. I would be run ragged if it was all just left to me and I would feel like we were missing out. As it is now, one of us always works a long day while the other works a short one. So one of us is always there at 3 and has all afternoon with our dd and a good chunk of it still with our toddler (and then I have one whole day a week with him too). I don’t know that I would do it if that wasn’t the case. We would both have to reduce our hours in some way to make it work.

The sticking point with you may be with your partner not being able to do the school run. I think long term he needs to sort that so he can participate more equally in the slog of getting children to and fro. It’s not fair it’s left to you forever if there are other options.

Mine are bigger now and I have Mondays off but our routine on other days is:
6.45 to 7 get up
7.30 leave house
7.50 drop off at breakfast club
9 arrive at work
5 leave work
6 pick up from after school club
6.45 eat dinner cooked on Sunday morning (we do bulk cooking) and make packed lunches
7.30 homework baths sitting around finding all the lost stuff, packing school bags for the next day, random washes
8.30 kids in bed
9.30 crash

Get a cleaner and a tumble drier and amazon prime and food shopping deliveries.
Plan holidays away so you have quality time together.
Get on with life!

I'm a single parent and work full time, kids dropped off to school on my way to work, both walk home at the end of the day as both now in high school. I'm home an hour or so later.

Previously they went to breakfast club & after school club.

I've just increased to full time and it has been tough. I thought DD would struggle with before and after school clubs, but she's still full of energy, really likes going to them and it's no different to her previous nursery hours.

We both start work around 8am so we can leave at a more child friendly time. Luckily we're both in public sector where flexi seems to be the norm.

We have to do a mad tidy, gardening, ironing and meal planning on weekends but DH pulls his weight. I'm considering getting a cleaner but it seems like a hassle, and I tell myself that vigorous cleaning is really good cardio.

6:20 am - get up
7:00 - DH walks dogs
7:20 am - I leave for work
7:45am- DH takes DD to breakfast club

4:30 / 4:45 pm I pick up DD from after school club
5pm - arrive home to DH making dinner
5:15 pm - eat dinner, then tidy kitchen, get things ready for next day, sometimes put washing machine on

6:15pm - I do DD bath then reading books while DH does half hour of work.
7pm - DH puts DD to bed (often takes up to an hour!) while I do some uni work, life admin or housework

8pm - chat about our days, watch tv, read
10pm - we go to bed

We used to do:

DH: leave at 7.20am
Me: leave at 8.30 with DS, drop him at school at 8.45, get to work at 9.15.
After school DS did 2 days after school club, DH and I finishing 1 day early each, and my mum collecting 1 day per week. Most days I would finish at 5.30 and peg it back to collect him by 6, or if I had to work into the evening DH would finish at 5.

Now we have 2 and I start earlier (but finish earlier) we do:
DH: still mostly leave at 7.20am but 1/2 days per week drops DS at breakfast club.
Me: drop DS at breakfast club 7.45, drop DD at nursery/my mum's at 8.15, get to work 8.30.
After school I collect DD from nursery/mum's and DS from after school club at 4.30.

Having a short commute for both jobs and the help from my mum has helped to stop it from being overwhelming, both of which I really appreciate. DH's work is also very family friendly.

FWIW DS does get tired and yes I'd love to either drop or collect him from school but like most people don't have the luxury of this option, so we do the best we can and hope we are not being judged by others with different options open to them.

Everything ready the night before. Always school dinners not packed lunches. Everyone up at 7. Leave house 750 for childminder drop off. At work for 815. Leave work at 515. Pick up at childminder. Home and quick dinner for 6pm, something in slow cooker or beans on toast etc. Homework and reading. 715 bath time. Bed and lights out by 745 or 8. Three DC.