Childcare for DD when in labour?

[EmotionalEllie]

I'm due my second DC in a few months. First birth was only 6.5 hours start to finish so I'm worried this time may be very quick.

My DM can drive down as soon as I go into labour but she's 90 minutes away. I'm not really happy with the idea of hanging around until she gets here just in case things progress even quicker this time.

What options do I have? I am guessing I should probably plan that labour will start at night as this seems to be most common.

So far I am thinking:

1. get a taxi by myself to hospital and DH joins by car afterwards
2. DH wakes up DD, we all drive to hospital and then he drives home with DD until my mum arrives
3. I find a nanny/babysitting service that can send someone immediately to wait in the house with DD for a couple of hours until my mum arrives (do such services exist??)
4. I ask my neighbour who I don't know that well (only lived here six months!) but seems nice enough

What did everyone else do??

Not really applicable, my first was induced as overdue (just pessaries, no IV). But I basically have one long contraction for the quick ones with no build up and no gaps.

Although obviously it CAN happen, it's very unlikely you will go into labour and give birth in under 2 hours, so as long as you make the call as soon as labour is obvious, I think you'll be fine to wait until your mum arrives. Stuff like making sure she has her overnight bag packed and ready in the car, and is ready on call 24/7 to leave as soon as you ring will make things feel less stressful. Unfortunately it's one of those things you can't plan for. I opted for an elective c section with my second due o emcs 1st time round, and one of my "pros" for it was that I could get childcare in place and organised in advance... Well that didn't happen as I went into labour the day before my section date, and had to quickly wrangle family members up to come over! I think if you tell your mum to leave asap when you call, and if labour seems to be progressing quicker than anticipated, you could always get dh and DD to get you to the hospital and she meets you there to take DD. Chances are you won't need to do that though. X

Definitely get the number of a nursery mum who could help.

In the night I'd phone your mum as soon as you get any signs. She'll be there faster at night with quieter roads. Then wait at home as long as you can. If needs be, get dh to drop you off and then bring dd back/meet your mum at hospital.

Come to think of it though, my mums labours were 1h 20 and 1h10 and she went naturally!

Last time I didn't hang around at all. I woke up to my waters breaking and contractions were immediately coming every 90 seconds. We went straight to the hospital and I was 4cm. I can't imagine how stressful it would be having to wait at home for 90 mins or even longer if the same thing happens again.

Lots of great suggestions on this thread though, thank you.

rainycloudyday He was welcome in the room if he wanted to though. There was nothing to stop him. He came downstairs, was told I was having the baby, came and said hello, went and watched TV and then came back in when the midwife told him I had had his sister. If there was a problem then the situation would have been very different - he would have been taken out of the situation - not left there to watch me die or become very unwell! There were four people there in addition to him and me. Three midwives and my husband.

It was a wonderful experience to have him there. If he wanted to be there for the actual birth next time I would see it as a positive thing and we would not have stopped him this time.

And as it was a planned home birth, the midwives were very used to siblings being there. When we raised any reservations about it in advance, we were reassured that it was all absolutely fine, given statistics to work with and told how comfortable they were having a sibling there. We were unsure before it happened and had grandparents on standby an hour away. It happened too quickly to even consider calling them anyway!

When I had my second, we had only been living here 4 months, and I didn't really know anyone I could ask.

I had a home birth, and my mother (who was in her 70s and lived over 100 miles away) came to stay a week in advance (my first child had been born a few days early).

My second came in 90 mins - from first twinge to holding baby. Not unexpected as my first was 4 hours.

We met my mum at the hospital (supposed to be dropping her off but my waters had gone in the car), dh waited with Dd1 in the car whilst I got checked in. He just made it for the birth. I wouldn’t risk waiting for your mum at home, it would just be too stressful.

It’s a tough one we are in similar boat. My Mother in law flying over week before due date, can your mum come early ? Or Get a babysitter introduced to your daughter so she doesn’t wake up to find you gone and stranger looking after her

You need to ask someone locally - I'm sure you've met some other mums through playgroups etc? If not, then a neighbour.
I had a relatively fast labour with DC1 so we knew we wouldn't have enough time for MIL to get to us (although that wasn't really what I wanted anyway, ha!). So I asked various friends/neighbours to be on standby - you'll find they are more than willing to help, I'm sure!
As it turned out, labour was even faster the second time (for me, at least). Neighbour came over around 11pm (so DC1 fast asleep upstairs), we left for the hospital and DH returned home around 2am. So DC1 was none the wiser when he woke up the next morning!

I was 4cm when I went in to be induced with #1. He still took another 26 hours.

Any reason why your mum couldn't come and stay a few days before your due date?

I doubt you would be admitted until 3/4cm dilated and are having regular contractions
That doesn't help with a quick birth. Mine was 4 hours, no long early stage. By the time I realised I was in labour and got to the hospital, I was ready to push. If I had hung around at home an extra 90 minutes for my mum to get there, baby would have arrived before she did.

Any reason why your mum couldn't come and stay a few days before your due date?
This doesnt really work unless mum is willing to stay for potentially 3-4 weeks given that babies are so often early or late.

My second Labour was faster but I knew when I was in the early stages - I just knew -
So we had time to get the in-laws over and look after ds.

I wouldn’t fancy a taxi especially if you’re going to be in active labour - so i would get your dh to bring your dd with you and call your mum. Then she can come to the hospital to collect dd and take her home.

@Rainycloudyday - we'll have to agree to disagree! My 3.5 year old was in the room and watched me give birth to their sibling. If anything had gone wrong they would have been taken out of the room. We had no time to give them to anyone else to look after, books and an iPad were sufficient. They were told that Mummy might cry but that was okay. They know the mechanics of childbirth and understand where babies come from. No trauma, no tears and an opportunity to see their sibling straight away for cuddles. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Ask your neighbour, I would totally do it if you asked me.

Beanbag, I had 4 kids, I know how babies work!
If she went 2 weeks overdue last time she'll probably go overdue again, maybe not so far over though. If her last was born at 38 weeks this one will probably be early too. It's not an exact science of course.

If it were me I would plan on parent coming a few days before the baby is likely to come based on my calculations from earlier birth gestation, and also have a contingency plan for if baby comes unexpectedly earlier.

Mine got progressively earlier - 11 days over, 8 days over, due date.

My first came at 39+5. DM isnt keen to stay beforehand unfortunately. As I've said before, with DC1 my waters broke first and contractions immediately were every 90 seconds so I went straight to hospital and was 4cm so was admitted. I am therefore working on the basis that I will not be able to hang around at home until my mum arrives this time, even 90 minutes. If things take longer to get going this time that will be a bonus but I'm not counting on it!

Thanks for all the suggestions and thoughts. I think a taxi probably isn't a great idea just because of the slim but serious chance that I give birth on the way or something similar...

I think I'm going to test out my neighbour and a few of the people we know round here and see if they'd be willing to be on standby for a couple of hours until my mum can get here. If it were me and someone asked I'm sure I would help out so I need to trust others will do the same.

@EmotionalEllie I think that's a good plan. We've taken in neighbours children before and had sleepovers whilst their parents are at the hospital. No harm in asking.