If you were raised Catholic and are lapsed, how lapsed are you exactly?

[LifeonVenus]

I was baptised and reared Catholic.
It was just part of our schooling and upbringing.
Two influences who would have been strong in my life though would be my aunt and my paternal grandmother.
Just watching something on TV and there's a scene in a church with holy water.
I would still bless myself with holy water.
I don't go to mass.
I actively hate the Catholic church as a result of heinous crimes committed by the church against women and children.
BUT
There is still that lingering indoctrination or 'belief'.
I remember one night when my ex used to beat me up I kept saying the Hail Mary over and over and over again until he fell asleep. He wouldn't hit me while I was praying.
It's a weird thing. I've stopped my dd from going to Catholic church.
Yet, I have a weird faith in holy water and some prayers.

Anyone else similar?

Other things I would do would be to say a prayer if someone on here for example was going through a bad time.

I haven't the brass neck to take communion. I go along with if I am in a catholic church.
Cant do the lets pretend anymore. I just cant convinced ce myself that the dirge repeated down millennia has had an iota of impact on anything
A few years ago the church decided wed been doing the mass all wrong. Which made me wonder what was the point of every single mass said ho to that point? Meaningless?
But everyone trundle along.
I think there should be a new section added to mass where the church apologises for every vile thing they did. Beg forgiveness from the people they abused and from God. Do it every week and at every celebration. Sti

There is no god. Of any description.

I show up for births, deaths and marriages.

I can still go through the prayers, I don't take communion.

Making plans for a quick cremation for myself.

Raised catholic too - mass every Sunday, baptised, first holy communion, and confirmation, used to provide readings, and also sing in the choir. It was a big part of life growing up, although I started to find Sunday morning hobbies as a teen that clashed with mass. I now only go to the Catholic Church for family funerals. I pretty much conform whilst there. I do go to other church occasionally (school stuff mostly) as the local CofE is very inclusive and family friendly. It’s entirely different to the church of my childhood, it’s relaxed and informal, and there is often food or refreshments while the service happens. I find that I want to genuflect (although generally don’t), I’ll still light a candle, and I quite enjoy a rousing hymn. I can see value in the community and togetherness of church, but it’s not for me

@cardamoncoffee

When you enter the church, as you reach the pew you've chosen to sit in you bob up and down facing the altar and bless yourself before sitting, that's about the only time really - I don't recall genuflecting on departure

If I have to go (death/marriages) I get caught out by the change in responses still and feel exposed

I've washed my hands of it entirely and don't even have a soft spot for hail marys or holy water. I still have the rosary and crucifix my nana gave me in a box, but that's purely a sentimental thing because she gave them to me and is dead.

I don't light candles, I don't pray. I can tolerate a church for a wedding or funeral but otherwise want nothing to do with it.

Slightest hint of lingering Catholic guilt but then I give my head a wobble and remember I'm a 21st century atheist and have nothing to feel guilty about.

I was first turned off it by attending a Catholic school, and the Tuam case in particular (among others) has left me with little to no warmth towards the church whatsoever.

Sort of lapsed - after having children started going again as thought it would be good for them. BUT our parish priest is a pretty vile human being, rude, aggressive, selfish, has favourites ...I could go on and other stuff.

What makes me mad is that he allowed to continue to behave like this and had so much power. Despite the recent history in the Catholic Church from what I can see he is not held to account, a lot of people are scared of him but no one will challenge him.

It seems that despite everything that's happened, lessons have not been learnt, priests still have a lot of power and no one holds them to account.

Went to Catholic school from 3-18, church six days a week and the priest used to come over after mass for Sunday dinner, its all dead to me now apart from the crushing guilt, the 30 rock sketch on that always makes me laugh (then feel guilty ) and some fucked up feelings/guiltiness about sex.

Born in Ireland, raised catholic, 12 years of convent school. Ended up a total atheist. I think it’s all a load of horseshit.

I was raised Catholic but like many was appalled by the abuse and the way it was swept under the carpet. Lost all respect for it. But, I do still believe in God, but tend to pray only when I’m down or worried about stuff. I once sat up all night praying to Our Lady to intervene for my very poorly granddaughter. My dh who only half believed was practically swayed by the power of prayers, everyone said it was the doctors who got my dgd better but my dh always says, no it was my praying. A bit of both I say.

I was a cradle catholic, schools, altar boy, the lot. Two things broke it for me. The first was sex; the turmoils of adolescence and the inability to suppress the physical desires that was required, with the obligation to go and confess all afterwards. Realising later on that a lot of the doctrine in that area was the self-loathing of clergy who were suppressing their homosexuality pushed it over the edge. The second was the Hubble Deep Field picture, which finally proved that the universe is so incomprehensibly vast that a god who looks after each and every one of us personally is just not going to work.

DW is an unbaptised atheist methodist. DD1 got baptised but never went any further; DD2 didn't make it to baptism. I still drag them there at Christmas and Easter.

I still miss aspects of it, but perhaps there is a God because, being someone who has never liked alcohol and never drunk, I found out last year that I am coeliac, and am therefore now excommunicated!

I do not believe in God at all and think that all religions are pretty much bonkers.
I was raised Catholic though and something from that upbringing will always linger there in the back of my mind.
To say I was brain washed may sound a bit cynical, but I think there is some belief there that I will never lose no matter how much I know it is wrong.

@Sicario Catholicism is despicable misogynistic bigoted hateful bollocks*
*
I absolutely second that!

Full on Catholic upbringing here....primary and secondary Convent school. I remember sitting in our compulsory RE lessons thinking 'Why does no one else see this bollocks for what it is?' Hated the textbooks we had to use which were full of misogyny and homophobia. I was genuinely baffled.

Am a primary teacher now in a non-secular school. We still have to teach RE and I'm still baffled by what people believe (across all religions)

I suspect if I were to enter a Catholic Church now I would vaporise instantly in a big heretic cloud of smoke

Very Catholic upbringing here and whilst I'm not lapsed I'm still struggling.

My counsellor believes I have been spiritually abused. Yet I can't turn my back on my faith. I need it somehow even though I'm not sure exactly what or if even at times I believe.

I am a 35 year old virgin mainly because of the whole no sex before marriage thing. I've struggled with relationships because I have been terrified of leading a man to sin somehow. I hate having to confess masturbation to an elderly priest behind a curtain and feeling unworthy and like I'm going to hell all the time for being a human. I read something the other day by a young man who'd discovered that he was an IVF baby and who was terrified that he didn't have a soul and that he was "appalled at the evil his parents had committed". I didn't know IVF was a sin. I have loved ones that are gay, that mainly had sex before marriage, that used contraception, that had abortions in terrible circumstances... I am horrified, heartbroken, cannot comprehend the idea that they'd go to hell for all of these things. As I say I'm not sure if I believe in God at all sometimes, but when I do believe, its not in a cruel, scrutinizingly judgemental, cold hearted, evil God. What happened to God is love?

I struggle with knowing what is true. I'm traumatised by things I've read. I'm trying to reconcile what is man made and what is God. It's a dark place.

I can't imagine living without the rosary, mass, candles, holy water, the saints, the rosary...all the beautiful aspects that bring me comfort. But I feel like I'm not worthy to be in the church because I don't believe in everything the catholic church teaches. And I'm terrified of hell.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

NameChange84 for you

It sounds like such a trite thing to say but almost every Catholic my age I know has had sex before marriage and used contraception (me too). I haven't gone to confession in years because I'm never sure what I'm meant to say. Almost all of us aren't perfect Catholics, and don't believe/agree with everything the church teaches. Please don't feel like you're not worthy.

I don't follow it really anymore but I still remember our father and hail Mary off by heart. I only recently went to a Catholic church for my nans funeral she was the strict Catholic. I always remember her on all souls day as it was a big thing for her

NameChange84

I was also a virgin at 35. In fact, I have only ever slept with DW.

Let me share something with you. For the first thousand years of its existence the church regarded marriage as something private. It was only in the 1100s that it decided to make a grab for it and make marriage into a sacrament under its control. Before then, it tended to keep its nose out of what happened between men and women contemplating life together.

DW and I married in church. I always regarded that as a public affirmation of a marriage that had come into existence some time before that. Yes, we slept together before our wedding day, but I did not regard it as sinful since we had already committed ourselves to each other.

If you dig deeper, you will find that the church accepts that ultimately it is your decision whether something that you do is sinful or not. for my own part, I don't think that masturbation is sinful, or if it is then it is a very small sin; why would god give us a need and deny us the means to satisfy it? And if it is not sinful, then you do not need to confess it.

I always found it paradoxical when a teenager that the church claimed it wanted us to marry and breed, and then erected every obstacle that it could to prevent that from happening.

Whether there is a life after this one, this is the only earthly life you will have, and you shouldn't allow the people I can only describe as nutters to ruin it for you.

And as for leading men into sin, all I can say is that being a man I can promise you men are am well able to look after themselves!

I wouldn’t genuflect, make the sign of the cross or take communion anymore. But on entering a Catholic Church, I do feel a weird sense of ‘coming home’.

I'm totally atheist -- I've never believed in god, not even as a child. Visited a catholic school recently and found myself crossing myself at afternoon prayers, completely to my surprise. I've also, occasionally, been uncomfortably genuflecty in churches over the years. So strange.

Brought up Catholic, went to Catholic school until 18 made my holy communion, forced to make my confirmation by my mum, became an alter server when I was 8, I think because it looked less boring than having to sit next to my mum and gran for an hour each Sunday. I'm an atheist I don't think I ever remember a time I believed in 'god'. I can't remember how old I was when I stopped going to mass, I remember begging my mum that I didn't want to go and being ignored completely. Not sure how I feel about Christmas and Easter they are more traditions for us rather than a religious celebration.

My older brother is still Catholic and has brought his children up to be so. One of my nephews has recently been reluctant to go to mass and my Mum keeps having a 'chat' with him about it I'm .

My children do go to a Catholic primary school, though only because it was a local school I was familiar with, I liked the ethos of the school and it felt a nice enviroment. They haven't made their holy communion, or been baptised and we do not go to church. If they do decide to choose a religion to follow I want it to be of their choice and not forced upon like it was for me. I don't remember any pressure what so ever from school growing up in regards to faith/attending church etc, just my family.

I’m completely atheist but I do the customs and responses at family funerals and weddings (but don’t take communion obviously)

I’ll follow protocols, join in with others doing the responses, genuflect, bless myself on the way in and out with holy water. I only ever go to church for weddings etc. My family is very Catholic. They think I should be still, but I think it’s mad, quite frankly.

Raised Catholic, FHC and Confirmation. Lapsed 40 years ago.
Will still genuflect and dab holy water (and light a candle).

My DF had converted to RC as a young man, I don't know why, then married, divorced, and married my DM, which in those days meant excommunication. He was bitter about this, but still wanted me and DB to be baptised and go to RC schools, which we did. DM didn't really have a particular faith, but she took us to Mass on Sundays more often than DF.
I started skipping Mass aged about 14 or 15, had a brief resumption of observance at university, not since. But I still have a kind of emotional attachment to the Catholic church, a nostalgia for its traditions and prayers. This despite being a lesbian and a feminist. The nuns at my schools were on the whole kind, interesting women, generous with their time. There were some really nice priests attached to the parish church, too. Of course we spent far too much time on RE lessons, and the best career options presented to us were "religious vocation" or "good Catholic wife and mother"!

So, now, I can't pray, although sometimes I would like to. I'm having treatment for cancer atm, and a few friends are praying for me, which is touching and comforting, and if the worst comes to the worst with the illness, I'm thinking I might go back to childhood beliefs and expect a happy afterlife in heaven, being reunited with my dead loved ones! Why not?

I suppose I have faith of some description, I just don't prescribe to Catholicism. It's a weird one when you've been brought up with it. It is still my comfort sometimes to pray for others. When it's myself in trouble I'm more likely to curse God (God forgive me!).
LOL at the pp mentioning cremation.
Only the other day I mentioned to my Dad that I wanted to be cremated and my ashes to be scattered in the Irish sea (I feel close to water for some reason).
'Be the Lord Jaysis! What?' He was utterly shocked that I wouldn't want to be buried. He calmed down when I told him the Vikings used to send the deceased out on boats and set them on fire - he likes the Vikings.
I think my will will go down like a lead balloon though.
I told him I'd haunt him if he didn't respect my wishes mwahahahahaha.