I have an outbuilding

[thinkfast]

According to the Hermes driver who delivered my John Lewis package this afternoon, I have an outbuilding!

Think my ship's come in and my house value must have dramatically increased. Anyone care to guess what qualifies as an outbuilding these days?

Well if they're anything like DPD, 'handed to resident' apparently means 'precariously balanced on top of your recycling bin in front of your front door in full view of the street'. That was a £300 Chromebook btw

My back doorstep is an outbuilding, apparently, according to Hermes.

Or even other peoples doorsteps are my outbuildings, too.

Oldandwornout my outbuilding is better than a mere back doorstep

Dog kennel/ rabbit hutch?

Bin? gas cupboard?

Nothing as grand as an outbuilding with an actual roof teensruletheroost

A bush about a foot high by my front door is a porch according to our Amazon delivery driver.

Somebody else's shed?

Definitely on our property. No one else's shed/garden/bush or bins involved

I think the days of being pleased to be able to order something and have it turn up a few days later are gone.

I'm constantly on edge, checking my dustbin (and other peoples) leaving notes with arrows, and hunting around the undergrowth for 'delivered' parcels.

A wheelbarrow?

Hmm my last outbuilding was my front doorstep which was straight onto the pavement of a very busy (foot and car) Street. Thankfully it was only a ebayed Iggle Piggle being delivered.

You're outbuilding is a low wall with a neon sign saying 'no one is home, steal me and come back for the furniture'

Your.

Stupid phone

Nothing as grand as a wheelbarrow. We live in a terraced house in London. Anything like that would be gone in a jiffy

Thebanyatemybrain someone was home! Someone was also home yesterday when Hermes claimed no one was in.

If it's hermes it could be in any bin/drain/bush within a 15 mile radius.

Reminds me of the time I ordered £75 worth of clothing for DC and it was lobbed over the wrong fence while I was at home, and the ndn dog ate it. I got a text to confirm signed delivery and looked everywhere only to find scraps of fabric were blowing under my fence!

An outdoor loo, with an ancient stained toilet with an overhead cistern, a sack of compost, a broom and many spiders.

Inside a wheely bin?!

Our house has a safe place apparently. Under the garden bench in full view of a busy car park..

My porch is my front step covered only by a small rectangle attached to the wall above my front door, in full view of the road, naturally.

Without wishing to be accused of stealth boasting, I also have a second porch, which to the untrained eye looks suspiciously like a patio table in my front garden, so my delivery drivers have the choice of two places to leave my parcels, in addition to my selection of four wheelie bins.

But seriously, these are the consequences of suppliers offering free delivery on relatively small orders. Delivery has a cost and to pretend otherwise has led to a situation where suppliers contract the cheapest suppliers who pay their 'self employed' delivery contractors absolute peanuts to deliver parcels to people who are rarely at home and they have to make quick decisions about where to leave the parcel so they can get back on their way to deliver dozens of other parcels, working long hours for what is often less than NMW.

North inch - correct! It was the drain the downpipe for our gutter goes into!

• northbich (sorry autocorrect)

I once had a parcel signed for my receptionist. I had employees without knowing it.

I then noticed my receptionist had the same unusual name as my next door neighbours 5yo daughter. My neighbour did have my parcel, but confirmed her 5yo hadn't signed for it.

Plant pot outside front door, which opens straight onto street. The people of this city must be both incurious and/or very honest, as several deliveries have been left there and haven't yet lost one.

The drainpipe - wow!
I had one left in the inside of my bbq in the back garden last week!

I saw the note saying on the bbq but really didn’t expect them to have gone in the gate to the back garden and actually put the parcel inside the bbq under the lid. Worst thing is the bbq is broken and due to be tipped so we hadn’t bothered to clean the grill. So the parcel had greasy grill marks on it too

What happened to the times when they informed you they'd tried to deliver and then you could go and collect, or arrange a redelivery?

Not even bothering to ring the doorbell and just chucking a parcel in a drain is nuts.