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Original poster

Don't want a baby. But sad I'll never have another. Anyone else?

28 replies

BillieeNoMates · 01/10/2019 08:53

Youngest is 8.
DH had snip.

I don't think I would want to start over again. I'm just a few years from the school run ending (primary) and I can sleep in a little in the weekends now.
Nappies and bottles are a distant memory.

But oh, looking at the photos of my kids as baby's. The gummy smiles. The fat little legs. The big,soulful eyes.

Endless cuddles and sloppy kisses. Chubby hands gripping my fingers.
Wrapping them up warm in winter with little hats and mittens, tucking them into a buddy with a blanket.

I do miss it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
BillieeNoMates · 01/10/2019 08:53

A buggy*

OP posts:
Itallt0omuch · 01/10/2019 08:55

That stage lasts no time at all.

Lisette1940 · 01/10/2019 08:57

My only child is ten and I do look back the same way. But it was hard work too. They are lovely when they're small ☺️

Original poster
BillieeNoMates · 01/10/2019 09:03

I wish I could just go back for a few weeks and cuddle them 😂

OP posts:
FrenchFancie · 01/10/2019 09:05

I don’t miss the baby stage at all - I had horrific pnd and spent most of the first year just fighting to get through the days.
I miss the two/ three year old stage once she could talk and was starting to explore the world - I loved seeing things through her eyes, the simple wonder of seeing sharks in the aquarium or going into London and showing her Big Ben. She’s 7 going on 17 now.
She’ll be an only child though. I’m almost 40 and the fear of being that ill with pnd again always stops me. I’ve never been so miserable as I was the

CharDeeMacDennis · 01/10/2019 09:07

Yes, mine are 14 and 11 and I am 40 so reaching the end of my fertility. I do get those feelings. A little mad voice waving its arms at the back of my mind, yelling, "You could have one more! There's still time, just! It's not too laaaaaaate!!!"

But no, I don't really want one. I don't want to be pregnant or give birth or have a little baby terrifying me with its fragility and dependence again. I absolutely loved when mine were little, but God, I lived with constant low-level background fear of something happening to them.
Plus I've finished school runs now and it's AMAZING Grin. They just head off and get on the bus, like actual independent human beings!

I think what I really yearn for is not another child, it's for the me and the life of ten years ago. I'm very, very susceptible to nostalgia and rose-tinted glasses, and I know that about myself, so I see this for what it is and ignore it!

Sowingbees · 01/10/2019 09:11

Agree with Char, I want to go back and do it all again.
Sometimes I look back at photos and I miss those babies and children so much, it is so indulgent as I am lucky they are growing into adults but what I would give for one more day of being with them when they were small.

Fatted · 01/10/2019 09:13

I think this sometimes. Mine are 4 and 6. I couldn't imagine going back to those days but I do miss all the cutesy things too. But nope. Never happening. In the last 12 months I feel like I've reached the other end of a long dark tunnel and life is starting to get easier. I couldn't bring myself to go back in again!!

MrsRufusdog789 · 01/10/2019 09:14

Rosy coloured specs are great . Look through them and enjoy your memories . Take them off and enjoy the thought of future lie ins and more me time .

Sugarplumfairyfartface · 01/10/2019 09:15

Yes I def don't want any more but baby n child stages were wonderful and having a baby or little one snuggling up on your shoulder is the best ever. I got all broody this week as I walked through baby clothes department and felt really sad I wouldn't have any more can't wait for grandchildren! (Kids doing a levels have no chance!)

theoriginaltms · 01/10/2019 09:17

The problem is they aren't babies for long at all. Then they learn to talk and answer back😂 if they could stay small I'd have loads!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 01/10/2019 09:18

I look at pictures of my ds 5 as a baby and I get very broody but then I remember the horrific labour, every hour wake ups,teething and pnd and my vagina clamps up saying thanks but no thanks Grin

BendingSpoons · 01/10/2019 09:18

DS is 7 months old. DD is 3. I definitely don't want another. I am currently celebrating DS doing 3 night feeds instead of 8. I haven't had an evening out since he was born (too tired). I still wanted to cry at the thought of giving away the bouncy chair! It's normal to feel wistful I think.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/10/2019 09:20

I feel the same. I have DS who is 6 and I definitely do not want any more DC, but I do miss the baby cuddles!

Then I remember the sleepless nights, the shitty nappies and the endless crying and snap out of it pretty quick. Grin

SilverChime · 01/10/2019 09:21

I wish I could go back just for ten minutes to cuddle my chubby baby! He looks beautiful in photos. But if you’d turned the camera around you’d have seen an exhausted tear streaked zombie who suffered from PND and hated herself. I have no desire to go back to that.

SoundofSilence · 01/10/2019 09:24

I have fond memories of the early stages. That baby smell and milky snuggles, squishy cuddles, and the moment when you get your first real cuddle back. But I couldn't do it again. The baby stage aside, I've enjoyed my kids more the older they've got.

KUGA · 01/10/2019 09:24

I know how you feel,i was the same but it passes and I am glad I didn`t take the plunge into having another.
You can get your life back when they get to a certain age.

PEkithelp · 01/10/2019 09:25

One word: grandchildren

Singlenotsingle · 01/10/2019 09:29

No problem. There's grandchildren to look forward to. Little arms round your neck. "I love you, Nanny".

WhatWouldJohnSay · 01/10/2019 09:30

Yes! I feel the exact same way. I have 2 and dp has 2, we don't have any together and sometimes I yearn for that. I don't want to have another baby though, I just want to have done that part of my life with dp

butteryellow · 01/10/2019 09:33

Yep, I see babies and there's a touch of broodiness (that cute bit about 1 where they find everything so exciting).

But I have my 2, that's how many hands I have, they fit in the back of the car, and they're old enough (6 and 9) that I don't have to be watching them every moment of every day, and they sleep all night, and dress themselves, and all that good stuff. So I know that it's fine to stop now, and that that's the right decision to make (not that I'd be devastated if there was an accident - but I'm also not going to go out and seek a 3rd child)

MrsPear · 01/10/2019 09:33

Oh yes me too but I made choice to end my baby days so never going to happen. It is a rose tinted specs thing and will pass. Plenty to look forward too.

troppibambini · 01/10/2019 09:38

Yes me. I have four and the youngest is 4.
I know I'm broody because he's just started school.
I'm 41 so having babies will not be possible soon.
I have four children which is plenty and my head knows I'm stretched as far as I can be.
Dh is 50 next month.
So why won't my ovaries shut the fuck up?.........

Grafittiqueen · 01/10/2019 09:40

Me too. I don't want another baby. I'd like to go back to when my two were little and do it all again. Time is just going so fast, my eldest has started secondary and in a heartbeat they won't be children anymore.

SilentAndQuietLight · 01/10/2019 10:05

I definitely don't want another--two was pushing my limits. But I do feel the same when I look at their baby photos.

But I've recognised that those feelings aren't the desire for a new baby. I'm missing the babies I had. And they're grown into children, and having a new baby won't satisfy the nostalgia for the babies I already had.

Plus, I never have to do toilet training ever ever again.

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