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Original poster

Should my friend offer some money?

73 replies

Darkerhorse · 26/09/2019 22:38

My husband treated me to a spa day a few weeks ago and I asked my friend to come with me. At the end of the day when we were leaving, the spa said that we had both already paid and that we just had lunch left to pay for, which was a mistake on their part. My husband had paid for me beforehand and my friend still needed to pay for her spa day.

My friend said nothing and left without paying for her spa day, seeming very pleased to have saved herself £75! She then said she would treat me to something in return for her free day as opposed to offering my husband half of the money she had saved from not having to pay. I said he would probably prefer me to give him some money back but she came up with a reason as to why she actually really needed this money afterall.

She has not contacted me regarding the return treat for her free spa day, or offered any money off my day. I am quite honest and probably would have paid the fee at the time (and regretted it later!) But she has more confidence than me and walked away without paying saying "nevermind their mistake." But surely, she should atleast have offered to pay for lunch or something considering hers was completely free?!

I'm a little shocked that no offers have been made, particularly as she knows my husband paid for me? I probably won't say anything, but it has tainted my perception of her character. What do others think?

OP posts:
Ifeelinclined · 26/09/2019 22:54

I am baffled as to why you think she owes your husband money. Why should she pay for half of your spa day? She needs to pay the spa!

Original poster
Darkerhorse · 26/09/2019 22:56

I can see how ridiculous it seems now that I would consider that she might give my husband some of the money back. I have felt quite guilty that he paid as he informed me that he didn't have much money at the time. The issue has arisen from my own guilt that he had paid more than anything else I think.

I agree, she should have paid the spa, but if ahe wants to avoid paying,that's her decision to make and not really my place to jump in and proclaim she pays.

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 26/09/2019 22:56

Of course she doesn't owe your husband anything. It's weird to expect her to pay for lunch too.

She's stolen £75 from the spa and you just stood there. I'm not sure standing by is any better.

Walnutwhipster · 26/09/2019 22:57

Fucking hell your thinking is warped.

joyceTempleSavage · 26/09/2019 23:04

I don’t understand how was lunch paid for?

Orchardgreen · 26/09/2019 23:07

Goodness, you are very grabby.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 26/09/2019 23:16

I agree, she should have paid the spa, but if ahe wants to avoid paying,that's her decision to make and not really my place to jump in and proclaim she pays.

But you were fine with profiting (or your husband profiting) from her dishonesty?

Wildorchidz · 26/09/2019 23:19

I don’t suppose either you or your friend have any intention of doing the right thing which would be to contact the spa and tell them of their mistake and ask to pay.

Soola · 26/09/2019 23:21

How long ago was this? The spa may well not have discovered the error until the end of the month and could contact you about the error.

Soola · 26/09/2019 23:22

Or if they don’t contact you they may well hold the receptionist accountable.

tweedledeedo · 26/09/2019 23:27

This could come out of staff wages. But you were happy to take half of it?

RumpoleoftheBaileys · 26/09/2019 23:32

YABVU (and frankly, you are as bad as she is)

She dishonestly failed to pay the spa;

You dishonestly asked her to subsidise your visit.

Medievalist · 26/09/2019 23:34

I never understand people who rub their greedy little hands in glee and consider themselves lucky when they profit from someone else's mistake.

And just as bad to be fretting about not benefiting from your friend's 'good fortune' op. Your dh being short of cash is no excuse. You don't steal from a company (or possibly a member of staff who may have to make up the shortfall or be reprimanded) whatever your own circumstances.

Such entitlement. Such a total lack of morals. Urgh.

fourquenelles · 26/09/2019 23:35

Your friend is a scamming thief. That's what you should be concentrating on. Yuk. Horrible.

TooMuch87 · 26/09/2019 23:38

I guess it's because I know DH was short of cash at the time but paid for it as a gesture after he went away for a weekend.

Well you were happy to pay £75 at the time. And you got the service you wanted. So you can’t really whinge about it being too much money now, just because your friend was lucky enough to get a freebie.

You’re just jealous your friend got a free spa day. Which is fair enough, I would be a bit jealous too. Except I would put on a smile and say ‘lucky you!’ and I certainly wouldn’t expect (or accept) any money from her. She owes you nothing.

Wildorchidz · 26/09/2019 23:42

just because your friend was lucky enough to get a freebie.

It wasn’t a freebie
She well knew she hadn’t paid but didn’t say so.

Wildorchidz · 26/09/2019 23:43

Except I would put on a smile and say ‘lucky you!’

So you’re another thieving cow ???

Medievalist · 26/09/2019 23:49

Jesus - a "freebie" is when you are GIVEN something for free. Not when you take something knowing you should pay for it.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 26/09/2019 23:49

that she might give my husband some of the money back.

The was never anything given by your husband to her to pay back!

user1573354 · 26/09/2019 23:58

Was she aware she was to pay for herself in the first place? I've had friends invite me to spas when they have had gift vouchers for 2 people. There is a difference between should we book a spa day and do you want to come to this spa with me.

Grobagsforever · 27/09/2019 07:29

Your friend is a thief and you want to profit from it. I hope no one at the spa got their wages docked. I cannot imagine doing this.

KurriKawari · 27/09/2019 07:49

So we went for a meal outside yesterday. There was an issue with my friends burger, the restaurant apologised and took it off the bill. AIBU to expect my mate to now pay me half of what he "saved" by not paying for the burger? The thought wouldn't even enter my head. That's what you sound like.

LazyDaisey · 27/09/2019 07:58

So your DH went away for the weekend and you followed that stupid MN advice about getting a spa day in return?

Except your claims DH he couldn’t really afford it. What, spent his money on his weekend already?

So he’s ruined your “time off” by moaning how he can’t afford it and making you feel guilty for asking.

Nice work DH. Next time, you’ll remember your guilt and won’t be asking him for anything when he pisses off for his “hobby/break”

Stop feeling guilty that you asked for something you wanted. Your DH is a twat to make you feel so bad about it that you actually couldn’t see how wrong it was to expect your friend to pay him some money.

Kaykay06 · 27/09/2019 07:58

In your OP you said you asked her to come, not she suggested she should come,
Which is it?
Within my friends, we would’ve discussed how much it was and at that point I would’ve said that mine was paid for and hers was still to be paid, seems a bit fishy to me that you paid already and she didn’t, I’ve only ever paid in advance. You also didn’t say no it’s just mine that’s paid for when they asked and that’s quite deceitful. You can’t then expect her to pay for you, as she’s clearly THAT kind of person?...she owes the spa not you.
Hope the spa day was worth all this crap

BlingADingDing · 27/09/2019 08:05

So someone is going to go short because your friend didn't pay and that's OK ?

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