I have a wonderful DP, he's the best daddy to our little girl. We've been together for about 8 years and are getting married next summer.
I don't have anyone in real life to ask this of, and I suppose I'm too scared to ask it out loud because I already know the answer: don't do it, you're fucking bonkers if you do.
DP is self employed, or rather 'perma-lance' because he has a recurring monthly salary. It's not unusual in our line of work to do this, and I think it also saves his employer paying NI etc too. All very dodgy I guess, and I don't agree with it (I used to be self employed and paid my taxes through SA, and am now PAYE).
We want to buy a house soon. My mum died suddenly six months ago and I have just inherited about £120k, which is sitting in a savings account until I know what to do with it. I'm very grateful for it, and would give it straight back if it meant my mum was alive.
My question to the great MN collective is -
a) it's going to be impossible to get a mortgage right? Because he has no proof of income, no tax returns etc.
b) even worse - how the fuck does he get out of this hole? Pay it in instalments? Bankruptcy?
c) If I marry him, am I liable for his debt too? Or would HMRC look at the property we hypothetically now own and take that back.
I need to sit him down and have a frank discussion with him, but he buries his head in the sand and gets stressed and upset, but he must know this is a huge issue.