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Original poster

Not wanting to be around people drinking

77 replies

Newearringsplease · 21/09/2019 15:27

DD is 15 and is going to our local city tomorrow to do some shopping with her friends. They had planned on going to the Botanist for a mocktail but her friends mum doesn't want her to be around people who are drinking! Surely it's a restaurant/cocktail bar not some grotty pub !

OP posts:
Aragog · 21/09/2019 15:30

It is a restaurant/cocktail bar. However, it is still a place where she will be around people who are drinking. Just because they are paying more for their alcohol, it doesn't mean they aren't drinking.

TrainspottingWelsh · 21/09/2019 15:35

Agreed, I don’t see the problem. Still, we had a festival style bday party for dsd’s 16th at home, and one dc wasn’t allowed to come on the basis that being outside left them vulnerable to lurking weirdos. As though a supervised party in a rural area, in a paddock next to my house and surrounded by fields was on a par with erecting a tent in a public park in an inner city area and leaving them to it.

Mumofboth · 21/09/2019 15:38

What does she think will happen if her precious daughter “is around drinking”? Not everyone in the pub, if anyone, will be a drunk hooligan. I think it’s way over the top.

MrsRufusdog789 · 21/09/2019 15:42

It seems a pity to me that the plan to have a mocktail at the Botanist is being scuppered for everyone by one mother's wishes . It puts your daughter and her other friends in a very awkward position. Surely if the girls are all trusted to go to the City Centre together the mother worried about the Botanist visit can trust her DD not to run riot once there . If not perhaps it's better for her not to go at all .

Original poster
Newearringsplease · 21/09/2019 15:43

There might be drunks on the bus on the way home! What, shouldn't she go anywhere, she's really cross

OP posts:
PuffHuffle5 · 21/09/2019 15:47

Well yes there will be people drinking, but like you say it’s a cocktail bar in the daytime not some dingy pub at 10 o’clock Confused probably just other ladies there out shopping with their friends and stopping for a cheeky one, not getting hammered. This mum is being silly.

MrsNotNice · 21/09/2019 15:49

Religious reasons ?

Original poster
Newearringsplease · 21/09/2019 15:54

MrsNotNice I've asked DD and she says they're not religious

OP posts:
Aragog · 21/09/2019 15:55

Oh, forgot to add - I don't think like this and DD has been around people drinking many times in her 17y.

But the fact that mum has said 'not near being drinking' - well, the fact that it is a cocktail bar and not a pub is irrelevant.

I guess it may depend on her reasons behind it as to whether it is unreasonable or not.

Aragog · 21/09/2019 15:57

Guess reasons may be religious or perhaps a family member with an alcohol issue.

Or mum might just be being OTT and overprotective and in a couple years may find the daughter rebelling against it all anyway.

CassianAndor · 21/09/2019 15:58

Whilst the mum sounds a bit OTT I’m not sure I understand this thinking that it’s only in grotty pubs that you come across drunk people. I’ve been, back in the day, hammered in a variety of establishments. Or do you think that richer drinkers don’t get slaughtered?

Cohle · 21/09/2019 15:58

I would think it was a little odd if my 15 yo was planning on going to a bar with her, similarly underage, friends to be honest.

Grannybags · 21/09/2019 15:59

Do you know the other mother well enough to speak to her about it? If not for religious reasons then maybe she has other objections such as aicohol issues in the family? Or does she not trust them to stick to mock tails?

Original poster
Newearringsplease · 21/09/2019 16:03

What 15 year old is going to be served regular cocktails! And what's odd about them going somewhere fancy for a posh drink.

OP posts:
LL83 · 21/09/2019 16:04

I would be a little concerned they may appear over 18 as in a bar and attract attention of men.

As long as your sure dd would know how to handle that and wouldn't be flattered/interested then fine.

I would encourage dd to stick by friend and go to Costa or similar instead rather than friend not attending or disobeying.

Passthecherrycoke · 21/09/2019 16:05

I think this would be so much fun at 15- going to a proper grown up lovely bar for a mocktail, what a treat

LL83 · 21/09/2019 16:07

Plenty of 15 year olds look over 18 and could have older siblings or fake ID.

If the girls clearly look under age they probably wont be allowed in somewhere nice for mocktails.

chemenger · 21/09/2019 16:08

This may be a stupid question but will a group of fifteen year olds be allowed in a cocktail bar? It is odd for a group of such young people to go to a bar, surely? It’s an adult environment.

burblife · 21/09/2019 16:09

Will they actually be allowed in? Lots of the bars (even those that serve food) in our large city have door staff on weekend days and ask for ID.

Original poster
Newearringsplease · 21/09/2019 16:09

LL83 Girls get leered at by creeps at all ages and everywhere Angry

OP posts:
TitianaTitsling · 21/09/2019 16:13

That was my line when I was 15/16 and using fake Id! Having 'mocktails' or just a diet coke... Ahh the good old 90s!

Aragog · 21/09/2019 16:14

This may be a stupid question but will a group of fifteen year olds be allowed in a cocktail bar?

Ours has a restaurant upstairs and you can definitely go in under 18, even without an adult there. You can just order drinks up there. Not sure on the rules during the day for the downstairs bar.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 21/09/2019 16:15

More fool the 15yo for asking her mum's permission. She is stopping mid-shopping trip for an overpriced glass of juice.

Funghi · 21/09/2019 16:18

Why would a 15 yr old need to go to a bar? I’m with the other mum on this, it’s very weird.

I’d be surprised if they’d even serve her without an adult present. Mocktail or not.

BlueBirdGreenFence · 21/09/2019 16:19

I don't think going to the pub is an appropriate activity for a 15 year old tbh. It being a fancy one, doesn't change that.