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Original poster

Going back to work after 9 years as a SAHM, give me your tips & tricks

31 replies

Arrowfanatic · 20/09/2019 16:54

Pretty much what the title says.

Kids are all primary school ages, DH works shifts. I will be out the house 8.30am to 5.30pm mon-fri.

I have visions of my weekends being full of housework and my children having cereal for dinner every night Blush

One issue is i have super fussy eaters so the usual slow cooker type meals are out of the question (although i quite like those so may be an option for adults)

My week will roughly mean mondays we'll have 30 minutes from walking in the door to walking back out again. Thursdays will be 1 hour before leaving again & fridays 1.5 hours.

If DH is home I'm confident he'll sort dinner, its more when he's late shift so wont be.

Plus housework, how do you fit it all in? I feel like i spend all day doing it now! I'd hire a cleaner but the state of my house is embarrassing, half finished decorated kitchens and the like. Again, if DHs rest days fall when I'm at work he'll have to help with housework then more than he does now

Come on wise people of mumsnet, you must have some secrets of the full time working parents trade?

OP posts:
31RueCambon75001 · 20/09/2019 17:06

Listen listen listen.
Dont talk about anything that happened more than 2 years ago!!

Not because it wont have been helpful or relevant but in some colleagues' eyes, it cements their view of you as out of the loop. Keep quiet about where you have been the last few years even if other women are asking you if you have kids.

I dont mean to scare you!!10 year break. Back at work about 5 years

31RueCambon75001 · 20/09/2019 17:07

Ah right sorry. Cant help as i get home to a mess everyday!

PeriComoToes · 20/09/2019 17:24

Eh? 31Rue ?? Biscuit

Sorry OP I don't have any tips or tricks as I'm a SAHM (clearly doomed when I return back into the workforce as it's been longer than 2 years).

Congrats on your job.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
KellyHall · 20/09/2019 17:24

Don't worry about the state of your home, if you can afford a cleaner then get one.

Remember that you haven't been out of work all this time, you've been what my mum in the same position referred to as a 'Household Manager', with very many important skills and responsibilities.

Each member of the family choses one thing to do at the weekend by taking it in turns one person per weekend. You'll all do one thing (at least) together every weekend and everyone's input is listened to.

For dinners, if you haven't already got Jamie Oliver 30 and 15 minute meals cookbooks, get them. It only takes a few tries to get the time down!

TheABC · 20/09/2019 17:27
  • before you start work:
  1. Declutter as much as possible. It makes life a lot easier if you are not picking up toys and you know all the kids clothes fit.
  2. Write down all the main household chores and allocate them. Primary aged kids can wash dishes, use a hoover and put aways toys or clothes. Make it clear that the housework has to be shared
  3. Make a 4-week meal plan that includes at least one item per meal the fussiest will eat. Don't be afraid to add in a few "freezer meals", stir-fry or grill options for Monday's and Thursdays. Batch cooking, freezing and reheating is also your friend.
  4. Set up an online supermarket shopping list based on your meal plans. After the first month, it will just be a case of selecting, clicking and paying. It really will save your Saturday morning.
  5. Speaking of clothes, you probably have enough washing to run a load every night (or every other night). Do it in the evening, peg out or stick on an airer, then decant straight into washing baskets. One per person: they can put it away and it saves the inevitable question "mum, where's my socks?"

When you start work:

  1. Get everything ready the night before, including your own gear. Allow 10 extra minutes for getting out the house to reduce stress

  2. Three evening activities may be too much as a family - if you can shift one to the weekend, it may help space then out.

  3. Congratulations on your job!

Original poster
Arrowfanatic · 20/09/2019 17:50

@TheABC batch cooking is a good idea. I dont have a microwave to reheat though so oven will have to do.

Evening activities are monday Brownies and then thursdays and fridays i actually run a karate club (which my kids attend) so i cant really drop it or change days as we have a lot of students.

OP posts:
Sunshine196 · 20/09/2019 17:57

If you haven't already got one, get a slow cooker. They are a game changer. Bung it all in and leave it all day.

Boyskeepswinging · 20/09/2019 17:59

I second prepping as much as you can the night before, laying out clothes for the day etc.

My other tip is to have a family organiser/calendar thing in a prominent place so everyone can see what's happening when. Dress down/up days at school, meetings at school, deadlines for payments and forms ... Get it all on the orgsniser then it takes up less headspace. Oh and get everyone to put their stuff on it so it's not Mum's job.

Loopytiles · 20/09/2019 18:03

Get a cleaner!

TheABC · 20/09/2019 18:07

The good news is that microwaves are easy to get - a thought for the future?

Failing that, things like vegetables, dumplings, pasta and rice can be cooked directly from frozen.

I see your point about the activities: good luck!

HarryRug · 20/09/2019 18:08

Congrats on your job. I have not been a SAHM but I have been discriminated against at work for having children. I work in a very male dominated environment so this may not apply to you, but I don’t speak about my kids at work, I have no photos of kids on my desk, if I leave early or am in late I never link it to the kids. I only started doing this in the last 3 years and I have not been discriminated in my current role for being a working mother. In other roles when I talked of my kids male colleagues would attribute all manner of things to me being a working mother.

foxtong · 20/09/2019 18:14

I have visions of my weekends being full of housework and my children having cereal for dinner every night

A bit offensive to working mums, no?? I've always worked full time and my kids have never had cereal for tea.

TheBrockmans · 20/09/2019 18:18

Mondays give the dc school lunch and then a meal deal - pasta / wrap / sandwich before activity. Do not go home, change at school/ brownies and meander over, if you go home first it is really hard to motivate them to go out again 30 mins later. Easier in the summer as you can maybe stop at a park. In the winter we cower in the car.

Thur/Fri have something from freezer or ready meal.

Rainbowshine · 20/09/2019 18:25

We have a weekly plan on a chalkboard with reminders e.g. forms that need completing and who is doing what.

Agree with DH who is doing what apart from routine housework that you should both do anyway e.g. loading dishwasher or sweeping floor.

We have cleaners in once a fortnight.

Online shopping also helps and next to the weekly plan we write anything that gets used up for the next order

Yes to getting everything sorted the night before and we put any bags or things needed in the hall ready.

I have a really boring work wardrobe of black bottoms and machine washable non iron tops. I have black machine washable jackets to smarten up the look

Good luck, as others have said maybe limit the chat about kids until you get a feel from existing people how much this is ok and the norm for that workplace

Longdistance · 20/09/2019 18:29

You’ve got lots of options and it’ll be hit and miss at first until you can get used to it all.
School dinners, cold tea or light tea when they get in.
Meal plan ahead for the week finishing with a take away on a Friday.
Laundry gets done on a Sunday, my dds have laundry baskets in their room. They have enough uniform for the 5 days. They bring it down, it gets washed and dried overnight. I iron as I go, so Monday morning dds will bring me their uniform I iron it, they put it on.
Dds are 10 and 8, there’s a lot of shouting going on to get out that door in the mornings.
As for cleaning, meh! 🤷🏼‍♀️

PeriComoToes · 20/09/2019 18:34

foxtong it's not about you! FFS

OP is saying she doesn't know how SHE will cope and therefore is asking for tips.

Well done for being together and on top form all the time at everything

31RueCambon75001 · 20/09/2019 18:37

@HarryRug , agree 👍

HoldMyLobster · 20/09/2019 18:53

My advice...

Buy a working wardrobe that contains nothing that might need ironing, is very simple, is comfortable.

Accept that cereal is a perfectly valid dinner, as is 'cover the table with everything we found in the fridge'.

Your kids can do dishes, wipe down sides, empty recycling, sort laundry, etc just as well as you can, and if they can't then now is the time for them to learn.

I have an info sheet ready for when I have to fill in any forms. We're in the US so it includes things for each person like social security number, doctor/dentist name and number, health insurance info, a brief record of how recently they had the most important immunisations, etc. It's in a plastic sheet protector and is kept in a folder with other info like school calendars and I use it all the time.

Your OH should be equally responsible for filling in all those forms and this info will help. Also for things like taking children to doctor/dentist/hospital, etc.

I tend to tackle post and bills once a week - they all pile up till that day.

Simplify your life as much as possible, lower your standards re cleanliness or get a cleaner, accept you'll do some things badly.

Tobeshared · 20/09/2019 18:59

I went back to work after 14 years as a SAHM. I wasn't that out of touch - they way people go on about it - load of nonsense - new software is pretty intuitive etc - and google is a wonderful help. It's takes a little while to regain your confidence, so don't worry if you feel out of it at first. My kids struggled at first, they enjoy having me around but they are pretty self sufficient and can make dinner etc when needed.
Good luck with it all!

LittleMissEngineer · 20/09/2019 19:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Cravingcake · 20/09/2019 19:46

I have returned to work just a couple months ago after 8 years of being stay at home mum.

It will all be ok, really good tips given already, definitely agree with having bags packed ready to go the night before. For example instead of putting swim suits away in a draw just pack it straight into swim bag after it’s been washed with towel, goggles etc so it can be grabbed easily from bedroom or hanger and know that it’s all in there.

Nothing wrong with beans/spaghetti and toast for dinner, especially for days where activities are on. Throw some fruit their way as well, fed is best and it won’t take long to find that some nights it’s just so much easier to do a quick pizza & salad or pasta & sauce.

For yourself, try some pre packed breakfast bars or take some cereal into work to keep in a draw for emergencies. Then if you do find yourself too rushed in the morning at least you have something you can have before your lunch break.

Good luck and enjoy it, i’m really enjoying being back in the working world.

trilbydoll · 20/09/2019 19:52

When we first got a cleaner she worked her way round the house, so the first time she came she only did downstairs. The next time she did upstairs. Gradually the house got to a point where she could do it all!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 20/09/2019 20:30
  • Get household jobs organised if not using a cleaner. We use ToDoIst on our phones to synchronise the jobs and we can tick them off. We do all our cleaning on Saturday mornings so it's out of the way before the weekend really starts. Doesn't take long and lots of our jobs are fortnightly. The kids are also starting to do jobs on Saturday mornings now too.
  • We use a rolling 3-week evening meal rota. We know exactly what we're having each evening, I shop to ensure we have the right stuff in for that week and no-one needs to ask me what's for dinner. It also makes DH more responsible for sorting it out too.
  • School bags and my lunch are all done the night before. It's a pain, but I do it as soon as dinner is cleared away. I pay for school lunches for DD so I don't have to pack her a lunch too.
  • Buy enough school uniform (if you can) to have enough to last the week without having to wash mid-week. Mine are in primary so it's easier/cheaper than secondary, I buy lots of supermarket polo shirts and trousers/skirts. Secondhand school jumpers & cardigans also pads out our supply.

I have just returned to full-time work after 4yrs as a SAHM.

Cookit · 20/09/2019 20:36

Get a cleaner.

We had one when we moved into our renovation project despite the fact that various rooms were being ripped up and most things the cleaner was cleaning were going to be gone within a few months anyway (floors and things). It’s really ok to employ one even if your house is half done.

ragged · 20/09/2019 20:38

My fussy eaters are happy to have a meal from a small selection of possibles every night. Fairly plain cooking. It's not time consuming.

Could your DC have hot dinners at school on Mondays & cheese on toast for tea?

I think I need to understand more about the cooking needs to comment.

I can happily live in a slum so maybe not the right person to comment. I was a SAHM for 8 yrs, though...