Going back to work after 9 years as a SAHM, give me your tips & tricks

[Arrowfanatic]

Pretty much what the title says.

Kids are all primary school ages, DH works shifts. I will be out the house 8.30am to 5.30pm mon-fri.

I have visions of my weekends being full of housework and my children having cereal for dinner every night

One issue is i have super fussy eaters so the usual slow cooker type meals are out of the question (although i quite like those so may be an option for adults)

My week will roughly mean mondays we'll have 30 minutes from walking in the door to walking back out again. Thursdays will be 1 hour before leaving again & fridays 1.5 hours.

If DH is home I'm confident he'll sort dinner, its more when he's late shift so wont be.

Plus housework, how do you fit it all in? I feel like i spend all day doing it now! I'd hire a cleaner but the state of my house is embarrassing, half finished decorated kitchens and the like. Again, if DHs rest days fall when I'm at work he'll have to help with housework then more than he does now

Come on wise people of mumsnet, you must have some secrets of the full time working parents trade?

I was never a SAHM but I had to work hard to keep up to 2 dc . My best tip was to cook a lot on a Sunday. While I was doing a roast, I'd put a couple of casserole things in as well. We could get through several days with just veg.cooking.
I also had a ' uniform' for work which made it easy every morning. As for talking about dc at work....why shouldn't you? Mine are now in their thirties...surely we've moved on since the eighties when I had to pretend I was a bloke!

Full time working mum here with DP who works long hours and we have 2 sons, one in first year of high school and 1 who is almost 2.

Loads of great tips already posted. My advice (which I’m rubbish at taking myself, but I’m trying)

• lower your standards and expectations. The house doesn’t have to be immaculate and everyone needs to chip in.
• find some easy, go to dinners for the kids which you can whip up in no more than 10-15 minutes. Things like pasta with pesto and peas with chicken, baked potatoes (pre bake and warm in the oven), scrambled eggs on toast with side of cucumber, cherry tomatoes etc. If you eat later or tend to have separate meals to the kids then the slow cooker is your friend, or you can batch cook chilli, curry, stew and easily reheat on the hob.
• Find a family planner or create your own. I have my son’s timetable stuck in the kitchen along with the meal plan for every day and a list of all household chores to be completed. We all choose from the list and then there’s less “nagging” or feelings of resentment.
• lay out uniforms and work clothes the night before. I get up half an hour before the kids to give myself time to get ready in peace. Pack school bags the night before.
• have bags ready for various activities.
• do timer tidying- set a timer for 5,10 or 15 minutes or however long you went and do what you can within that time. The kids might enjoy that too and it’s amazing what you can all achieve even in just 5 minutes.

Good luck OP. You’ll be just fine! I hope you enjoy being back to work

Remember that you haven't been out of work all this time, you've been what my mum in the same position referred to as a 'Household Manager', with very many important skills and responsibilities.

Under absolutely no circumstances refer to yourself as a 'household manager'

Get that cleaner

Good luck, I bet you'll be great and it'll be your new normal in no time!

The most helpful thing for me is to sort all clothes for the week on a Sunday night. DS has a hanger for each day of the week with everything on it, clean and ironed. Same for any clothes needed for extra curricular activities.

Hot school lunches are a huge help, DS also has a tea at after school club so only needs a small snack when we get home. Could that work for you?

Wow, thanks everyone for the advice. You've all been super helpful.

@foxtong there is always one person who attempts to be permanently offended maybe, just maybe step down from the stroppy step & put yourself in my shoes, you know, the OP, who is anxious, worried, nervous & asking for help.

I don't want to hide my kids, I'm incredibly proud of them but i do hear the advice to not go wild talking about them.

I just had a thought about mondays, the childcare actually closes at 6pm and brownies are in the same school (literally the hall next door) and also starts at 6pm. So i wonder if i could take her uniform in for her to change into, when i go into pay for brownies rather than going home & back. She will be fed there if she stays the full length & then i can feed the other 2 at home.

I don't want to hide my kids, I'm incredibly proud of them but i do hear the advice to not go wild talking about them.

My advice is to actually, literally count how often you're doing it. I do this because it feels to me like I barely mention DS - I do it so much less than I want to! - but if I actually count the number of times I mention him, it is, to be honest, an awful lot, especially in an office where I'm one of only two parents in a team of 9. In order not to become that woman who goes on about her kid I have to be consciously disciplined about it! (Which is not at all the same thing as pretending he doesn't exist)