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Original poster

problem with period pants

30 replies

rollNsausage · 16/09/2019 20:07

DD (11) has been using period pants since starting her periods in Jan. We've tried different versions.

Thinx - most stylish and trendy but leak and not good for heavy flows which DD has been getting. Not even the so-called 'heavy' pants

Cheeky Wipes - do not leak but DD hates how they feel and look

Wuka - DD's favourite, Last her all through school which is important when you have a DD who forgets to change her pants during the day.

The problem we now have is that the Wuka pants show through DD's trousers. the shape of them I mean. They are very bulky. DD refuses to wear skirts as she doesn't like wearing skirts or tights. She's very tall so skirts do look a bit daft on her. Her friends have been saying ooo i can see your pants. DD is embarrassed.

I don't know what to do. DD keeps forgetting to change her pants midday so the wuka pants are good for that. She refuses to try tampons or cups or pads. She won't wear a skirt or tights. I've tried to reason with her but she's not having it. So the period pants with trousers is the only thing she's agreeing on.

I feel bad for DD and mad at her horrible friends. I'm wondering whether to get her a long cardigan or something. I don't want to buy any more period pants as they aren't cheap!

Any suggestions from other period pant users would be good

OP posts:

gamerchick · 16/09/2019 20:12

Well, I know what I would say but I don't think you want to hear it as it doesn't answer your question, so I'm bumping instead good luck

BigMy · 16/09/2019 20:14

My DD is a bit like this.
Shes been a bit stubborn with homework too. I had a long think the other day and decided that I have offered COUNTLESS solutions to her, strategies, support, nagging and more. So, honestly now I am leaving it to her.
If she doesnt complete her homework or if she leaks as a result of not changing her pad then she has to face the consequences. I can literally do no more. I am hoping that if she has a relatively minor fail at this stage it will at least provide her with some sort of learning.

Beamur · 16/09/2019 20:15

DD has some Modibodi ones she wears under trousers. They look fine.
Can you get your DD some looser trousers?

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helpmum2003 · 16/09/2019 20:16

She needs to decide between

get teased
wear trousers
wear pads
change more often

Tell her not to complain anymore and make a decision.

That sounds harsh but there's nothing else you can do...

BrutusMcDogface · 16/09/2019 20:17

Honestly I know she’s only 11 but it looks like you’ve given her enough options; change your pants at lunchtime, wear a skirt, try pads etc etc What else can you do?

BrutusMcDogface · 16/09/2019 20:18

Cross posted!

BadgertheBodger · 16/09/2019 20:19

I use Modibodi, the heaviest/overnight ones because I have really heavy periods, and I don’t find they’re bulky. I have the seamfree ones and you can’t see them through trousers. Tbh though, if your DD can’t remember to change her own pants then there’s not much to be done except leave her to it. If she was wearing a pad/tampon she’d have to get used to changing it. I agree that it’s an inconvenience but it’s just a fact of life with periods, she might as well get used to dealing with it on her own. Her friends have been unkind but again, not unusual at high school.

PullingMySocksUp · 16/09/2019 20:19

I think I’d be just asking what she wants to do. Is there a particular reason she won’t try pads? Is she not really on board with the whole period thing?

roseenglishrose · 16/09/2019 20:20

I don't understand why she can't do what we all did and wear pads or tampons! She either gets teased or changes her tactics!

Alwaysgrey · 16/09/2019 20:21

Sorry to derail but thinking ahead for my ten year old dd with autism and her having periods. How do period pants work?

GetUpAgain · 16/09/2019 20:26

Tell her (not when she is on or you have just been discussing it) you are reading a mumsnet thread about a 10 year old with bulky period pants who won't try pads, what would she suggest this (fictional) younger girl should do?

She might come up with her own solution. Sometimes I do this when my kids know the answer to something but don't want to admit 'mother knows best', it might be worth a try.

sewinginscotland · 16/09/2019 20:43

It's great that she wants to only use reusable sanitary protection, and that you're supporting her with that. I'd be annoyed if I had to wear a skirt on my period too.

Can she wear cloth pads with the period pants? I wouldn't want to change my knickers in a school toilet either. Then she can take the cloth pad off at lunchtime rather than having to do a whole change.

Original poster

rollNsausage · 16/09/2019 20:51

They don't have modibodi seamless in her size and I've already spent quite a bit on period pants already.

She does take spare period pants with her to school but as I said, often forgets to change. Too busy hanging with her friends at lunch etc.

I don't think she's scared of periods but I would agree that she's not fully on board. At home she just leaves her pants on the bathroom floor etc and I have to lecture her every month about hygiene, changing etc. We did try pads at first but she hated how they felt etc. Period pants were basically less hassle for her.

Looser trousers is another issue - she hated them too. She hates everything and its like a constant battle. So period pants have been a kind of relief until now....

I'm not made of money so I need to find a way for her to continue using the wuka pants but not to show through

OP posts:

Original poster

rollNsausage · 16/09/2019 20:52

sorry that should have said modibodi is out of stock in her size

OP posts:

ARoomWithoutADoor · 16/09/2019 20:54

My dd, 12, is also using period pants. I bought two brands (and can't remember which, which is bloody useless sorry)
She is Autistic and is really struggling with the sensory nature of it.
She is also very rigid in her thinking.
She has managed pads at school which is a real achievement for her.
But it is early days.

Thicker trousers might be the easiest solution right now so she can feel confident in her protection.

I like the idea of asking your child what they would advise another youngster. That's genius!

ladybee28 · 16/09/2019 20:55

What @helpmum2003 said.

I get that this generation thinks there must be some kind of magical solution out there that gets them off doing anything they don't feel like doing, but biology is biology and the laws of physics are what they are.

You both sound like you know the options available to her – either she chooses a solution or she chooses to get teased.

It's nice that you're trying so hard, but there's only so much you can do before she has to start getting in her own corner and doing what she needs to do to feel confident and clean.

ladybee28 · 16/09/2019 20:57

Wow - sorry - that was a bad mood of mine leaking out in a really crabby comment.

I take the whole 'this generation' bit back; some leftover irritation with DSS just overflowed a bit and it wasn't called for.

I apologise!

(I do stand by the rest, though )

ISmellBabies · 16/09/2019 20:59

Dd has modibodi ones and they seem fine so far. She's not had heavy periods really yet so I can't say much on that front but they seem great.

DontCallMeShitley · 16/09/2019 21:04

She is lucky to have the choice. She might have had to use sanitary towels and belt. Or have to make her own from rags.

Time for her to learn that not everything revolves around her and to make a choice about what to do.

Lucked · 16/09/2019 21:05

I agree throw it back to her. What does she think or want to do? It is the whole “nothing changes if nothing changes” she has to get involved and try new things.

I do feel for her though and I am so glad I started my periods at 14!

haveagoldstar · 16/09/2019 21:06

How about some Cycling Shorts over the period pants, underneath her trousers. You can pick them up for a couple of quid?

If they're snug, they should hold the pants closer to her body and away from the trousers a bit.

xtinak · 16/09/2019 21:14

Are you sure she is actually forgetting to change or does she maybe not want to? It is awkward having to change pants while out. Much more so than pads and I also remember people not changing pads when I was a kid and being nagged about it. I think it stems from just not wanting to deal with the whole thing! It is pretty dreadful after all. Is there someone she admires who she would be happy to copy? Like an older cousin or something? That might convince her to accept alternatives.

Rachelover60 · 16/09/2019 21:19

I hope she washes them herself.

Beamur · 16/09/2019 21:20

Alwaysgrey
Period pants are basically absorbent, leak proof underwear that you wear during your period. Has a dry, wicking surface so feel comfortable to wear. No need for pads or tampons and are washable. So much more environmentally friendly.
Plus no embarrassing rustling in the loos as you change pads etc.
Downside - they are expensive and you have to find the ones that suit you best.

Original poster

rollNsausage · 16/09/2019 21:29

no offence taken! there is very much an element of getting her own way / being lazy / expecting everything done for her. We are definitely getting tougher.

Yes she washes her own pants. Not always correctly, but we are (slowly) getting there. I'm being very firm. Hygiene is very important to me and I insist on a spare pair in her bag but I can't be at school with her.

Yes I think it's more 'cant be arsed' than 'forgetting to change' but school toilets are unpleasant from memory and home is more comfortable, so I get that may be a reason too.

We had the shorts suggestion too - it was a 'no' to that too.

The only solution she is willing to consider is a longer cardigan. So we'll see how that goes. I suspect only a day before she's "too hot". But its a start!

OP posts:

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