Do you think you could live in the MN ideal world?

[derxa]

Republic
Religion is banned
Plant based diet compulsory
No private schools
Socialist government only
Do you think it would be nirvana or purgatory?

There’s the faff of having to change the locks, arrange a free half hour with a solicitor and getting my ducks in a row (ever tried to get ducks in a row, it’s nigh on impossible even with a highly trained Border Collie to help) if DH forgets to put the bins out too.......

if DH forgets to put the bins out too..... We could get rid of all men and MILs. In fact we could live with our children in hermetically sealed bubbles.

Until they are 16. Then they are cast out like Spartans.

PMSL at permanentlyexhausted

I'd deal with it to get my MN standard 6 figure salary

No.

I couldn’t cope with having to post a thread asking what to do about any rude or cheeky fucker I met

I would want to speak to any potentially problematic neighbours, not post them passive aggressive notes. And certainly not because they were making acceptable noise or doing normal activities

I answer my phone and door without having a breakdown

I don’t have time to report everyone and everything to 101 everyday

I don’t want to ltb because one of his dirty socks missed the basket

I drive a 4x4 and walk my dogs off lead

I don’t and have never given a fuck about following dc round shoving rice cakes, or olives, or whatever the current trend is for wanky snacks at them every 20 minutes

I’m quite happy to give people lifts, either because I’m going anyway or it would really help them out.

I don’t and have never given a fuck about following dc round shoving rice cakes, or olives, or whatever the current trend is for wanky snacks at them every 20 minutes I think you mean 'offer' not shoving wanky snacks at them

Nooo! Mumsnet land is full of mumsnetters walking up to strangers and telling them off for drinking non fair trade coffee, smoking, not buying organic everything for their kids etc. Then being surprised when random stranger disagrees and answers back.

I’ve never seen this in real life, only on mumsnet. Is it because I live in the north? Is this kind of mumsnetters behaviour more prevalent in the south?

Living in a world where 1+ showers daily are compulsory, regardless of any skin complaints that are exacerbated by too much washing, and then having to boil wash the towels afterwards but not being able to wash anything else at the same time e.g. knickers or dish cloths, would be hell.

I'd have to park my car in a completely different estate because in mn land you're not allowed to park with 2 wheels on the pavement.

Not being able to make any noise in my garden, such as having music playing on the speaker or sitting out on an evening and chatting with visitors, and having to bring my dc inside as soon as they make the smallest shriek would also be a pain in the arse.

Not being able to feed my dc the occasional ready meal or chocolate already sandwich and instead having to cook from scratch a nutritionally balanced meal based on proteins and barely any carbs would do my head in as well.

There's loads of things that I'd hate. I'd be much happier and more at ease living in the anti-mn land.

I think I would like it.

We would all have a cleaner keeping our large detached house spick and span. We would head off several times a year to exotic holiday destinations.

If we were poorly, various neighbours or our mother, would pop in with a delicious array of home made meals for us. Birthdays would be celebrated with parties at luxury venues.
We'd be SAHMs while our high earning DHs brought home the bacon.
We'd feel safe, knowing that the police were logging anything at all untoward.

What's not to like?

Bum sex would also be banned

And for the best really because any women who says she enjoys it is a lying cool wife

If I’m forgoing all meat consumption, can I keep my bog brush as a compromise?

I already live in a republic with no private schools in my area so 2 out of 6 already 😂

"bum sex would also be banned"... Except of course on a Friday at Centre Parks!

Anyone here who is a first family needs to ship on out

Off you trot

Come back once you’ve met a new man, moved him in and moved out the children so we can give you a piece of our mind

can I keep my bog brush as a compromise? Well it must be made of wood.

@AdaColeman I actually laughed out loud

Is the big brush from John Lewis?

Perhaps they should have centreparcs bumsex weekenders

More fun than a load of 80s nomarks at butlins which you can’t go to with that good Irish surname of yours

Ahem, Bog Brush!

Do I have to replace my bog brush every time it’s used and boil wash every towel in the bathroom after each flush to save us all catching an evil disease from the swirling poo-particle tornado?

I’m dead already from putting the catshit in my kitchen bin

I am literally posting from the other side

All my rellies can do one I know they’ve been eyeing up the inheritance for the last 20 years

IT’S ALL GONE ON SPREADBETTING AND WEEKENDS AT CENTREPARCS

I don’t think we’d need to get rid of the men. It’s just that all the men would be perfect feminists who wash up, put the bins out, wipe down the loo after peeing on the seat and appreciate the emotional labour we women do.

Those men will be few and far between so we might have to share them out between us, like on a weekly rota or something.

I’ll take Thursday.

God no I spend too much on handbags and I don't wash my towels every day.

I do t have a toilet brush though they may let me in hahah