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Intellectually incompatible

80 replies

Secondsight · 08/09/2019 20:40

I've posted before about this. I haven't had this with anyone else but I'm beginning to see a side to myself I don't like. I think my DP is far more intelligent than me and I'm beginning to feel like I have some inferiority complex rather than just accept I can't know everything. It's got to the point where its affecting the relationship. Although he thinks I am intelligent but I just think it makes me come across as stupid if for example I watch something and I don't know the names of the actors in it etc. Today he had said that he had found a dvd of a film Peter seller's was in and it wasn't good but then reemed off four titles of films he liked of his he'd watched at a young age. I'd never heard of the films and rather than just accept that I said I hadn't heard of any of them and it just made me feel inadequate. This happens alot and I just don't understand why, most people would just accept they didn't know and marvel at how clever he is!
He just says there's things I know that he doesn't and I've had much the same response on here but it doesn't make me feel any better.

OP posts:
LittleMissEngineer · 10/09/2019 14:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Secondsight · 10/09/2019 15:20

Yes I did post before and I got some feed back but it was really more about how it didn't really matter as each couple is different. We have loads of shared interests and lots in common. My ex DH was more intelligent than me in a more scientific way but I was more emotionally intelligent but it didn't seem to matter.
It's a hang up I seem to have developed. With my DP
I name a subject and he knows so much about everything he's just well read and very interested in life. He loves watching all kinds of sport, reading film watching etc knows everything about music. I just haven't experienced this before and tbh I find it abit much. He's an intensive person.it's abit over whelming.
I have my own interests such as running cycling wild swimming and I've just finished my open uni degree it's not as if I feel I don't take a interest in life it just seems to irritate me. It's a side to myself I don't like.

OP posts:
Flower777 · 10/09/2019 15:26

Do you actually like him OP?

You don’t have to be with him you know.

He doesn’t really sound like the right person for you.

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SoyDora · 10/09/2019 15:47

I agree with Flower777. It sounds like it’s just his personality that annoys you. You don’t have to be with someone you dislike.

Secondsight · 10/09/2019 16:44

Thanks for your posts I guess we need to have a talk. I care about him deeply and I suppose I've just slagged him.off. He is such a kind and loving person and totally committed.
This relationship is very different to my 18 year marriage where we did very little together and communication was zilch.
I think maybe I cannot provide what my DP wants he was very intense and I thought things would settle but they haven't really.
If I'm not happy it's time to move on.

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