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Original poster

Can I pretend that grandchild is not mine.(light-hearted).

60 replies

Burlea · 07/09/2019 16:08

Yesterday my DN got married to her girlfriend. This week my DGS has been learning about sex education. He's a very young 8.
During the wedding breakfast he was sitting next to my DM(93) we could tell he had something on his mind as he's a very deep thinker. There was 12 people on our table.
After the speeches he decided to very loudly ask Great Grandma how do 2 girls have sex as you need a penis which of the 2 brides has one.
Of course it was at a quiet moment in the room he asked. We were all trying to shut him up but that made him talk faster.

I so wished I got a photo of my mums face. She was in shock. Embarrassing but funny.

OP posts:
NatashaRomanov · 07/09/2019 16:22

Grin Well, there's a story for his future!
Did he not insist on an answer?

I hope the brides had a wonderful day.

theoriginalmadambee · 07/09/2019 22:15

🤣 oh my, the joy of dc.
Please use this for every speach the next 20 years.
Hope your dm has a sense of humor 😁.

SarahAndQuack · 07/09/2019 22:26

I think his school needs to be doing better with sex education! Grin

I can see the funny side, obviously, and I'd have giggled, but I can see some people might have been offended or mortified and I hope someone did apologise for him just in case.

I mean, sure, you would laugh, but then again, I suspect 30 years ago someone would have thought it just as funny if a small child asked how come two people of different races could get married. You know?

Happysummer2020 · 08/09/2019 00:47

Thats not 'funny'.

Really grow up. It was a same sex marriage which should be respected as any other wedding.

Do you really think sniggering at the 'difference' is appropriate and something you want to teach your child??

MoaningMinnie1 · 08/09/2019 00:48

Aw bless him! That's lovely.

PinkLacy · 08/09/2019 00:49

Lighten up @Happysummer2020 Hmm

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 08/09/2019 01:00

Do you really think sniggering at the 'difference' is appropriate and something you want to teach your child??

Hmm no-one was sniggering at the difference. They were laughing at the child’s innocence and his impeccable timing of asking the question.

donquixotedelamancha · 08/09/2019 01:10

Thats not 'funny'.

Of course, since you don't understand the humour it can't be funny.

I bet you have a brilliant sense of humour and so would definitely know if it was actually funny.

I'm sure you are not a totalitarian who leaps to take offence at the most banal things, so this must be objectively offensive.

It's definitely everyone else, can't be you.

Original poster
Burlea · 08/09/2019 09:16

It so funny but even the most mundane threads have miserable comments made by bores. Just for information purposes the brides both laughed because guess what they
have a sense of humour.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 08/09/2019 09:20

Oh bless him, did he insist on an answer?

Well I guess it shows that he paid attention in class...

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 08/09/2019 09:22

I think his school needs to be doing better with sex education!

From a school perspective, we only talk about the mechanics of making a baby. We don’t talk about sex for pleasure and give them tips on how to do this. We also discuss fertility treatment / IVF for couples who can’t have a baby naturally due to infertility or being part of a same-sex couple.

OP, that is fantastic ammunition for when your DGS gets older. The embarrassment it’s caused now for others will be reimbursed tenfold for him.

WalkofShame · 08/09/2019 09:24

@Happysummer2020

I don’t think you understand what people are laughing at Confused

They’re laughing because he asked an embarrassing sex question in front of the 93 year old woman, nothing to do with ‘difference’.

SarahAndQuack · 08/09/2019 19:57

The brides laughed - well, of course you'd laugh rather than anything else, wouldn't you? Who's going to ruin their own wedding by getting upset or objecting. But you did come on MN and ask about it, so it's a bit off to come over all offended when some people say they don't think it's funny.

I get that some children say things out of innocence that sound like rudeness, but I think I'd still probably have been mortified and inclined to apologise in a situation like this, just because 'how can two women have sex when they don't have penises' is such a homophobic classic. It's like if a child accidentally says something that comes out as really racist or disablist. You don't blame the child but you also recognise it might be more hurtful than funny.

Morgan12 · 08/09/2019 20:02

Oh ffs lighten up.

Hes 8.

Hes being taught about sex in school which is a penis and vagina. They are hardly going to start explaining how homosexuals have sex are they!

Honest to fucking god.

SarahAndQuack · 08/09/2019 20:07

No, of course they're not going to explain same-sex sex (and I was kidding there, hence the grin?).

But I would expect an 8 year old to know it isn't polite to talk about people's sex lives, and I'd certainly expect an adult to apologise for a remark like that, even when totally innocently made.

Span1elsRock · 08/09/2019 20:17

That's a great story for his wedding day in the future Grin

donquixotedelamancha · 08/09/2019 20:25

it's a bit off to come over all offended when some people say they don't think it's funny

OP didn't say they were offended. They just pointed out that even on a thread labelled as light-hearted there will be people who can't recognise the most obvious humour and feel the need to paint an everyday, nice situation as a moral failure to make themselves feel superior.

'how can two women have sex when they don't have penises' is such a homophobic classic. It's like if a child accidentally says something that comes out as really racist or disablist.

An -ism is a belief. Racism is the mistaken belief that race exists and is deterministic. This is not a child with terrible beliefs, this is an embarrassing question.

SarahAndQuack · 08/09/2019 20:31

She is offended, though, isn't she? Referring to 'miserable comments made by bores'.

If you have to label your thread 'lighthearted,' you probably also have to accept not everyone will find it so.

As I said, it's not about blaming the child or attributing homophobic intent to an 8 year old. Just as you probably wouldn't think an 8 year old intended any harm if they accidentally came out with a phrase that sounded racist or disablist. But that doesn't mean it's funny. I mean, if my 8 year old piped up 'how do they have sex' at a wedding where one person was in a wheelchair, I'd be mortified and would feel for the couple. I don't think I'd be sharing it on MN.

theoriginalmadambee · 08/09/2019 20:31

Every fun and light hearted thread is often destroyed by posters with a CAUSE.

How sad Confused.

Happysummer2020 · 08/09/2019 22:56

Still dont think it's funny.

I'm proud my nieces accept same sex relationships amongst their family and friends without thinking to make a comment about sex. It's a bit ignorant.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 09/09/2019 05:23

He’s not unaccepting of it!!! He’s asking a question about how something works when he’s only been taught the male/female version. If he was given the answer and replied with ‘eww that’s disgusting’ or similar, then I could understand the offence!

differentnameforthis · 09/09/2019 05:37

We were all trying to shut him up but that made him talk faster. There was your mistake. Great teaching opportunity to give him the answer that no, not all sex requires a penis. Quite simple, leave it at that!

@donquixotedelamancha This is not a child with terrible beliefs, this is an embarrassing question

Only if you think sex is embarrassing.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 09/09/2019 05:45

I agree with SarahandQuack. It’s not about not seeing the funny side of children making inappropriate remarks at the wrong moment (though most NT 8yo I know would be able to control this impulse tbh). It’s about you all as adults who should actually be aware of homophobia and lesbophobia and the kind of stupid things people might have said to this couple that you love, being all indulgent and not acknowledging that actually it might have been quite unpleasant for the couple to hear this voiced at their wedding, even by a small child, as a reminder of the rather tiresome comments they may have received from ignorant adults. I would have apologised sincerely to them

ukgift2016 · 09/09/2019 05:52

How is this funny?

"Oh sweet little Jimmy making an offensive comment!"

I have an 7 year old DD btw and she be told to be quiet and we talk about it later. No way we be having that conversation at the table within ear shot of the bride's. How rude.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 09/09/2019 07:07

I'm proud my nieces accept same sex relationships amongst their family and friends without thinking to make a comment about sex. It's a bit ignorant.

I'd be prouder of having a child who, recognising he doesn't know something, is willing to ask questions to find out the answer and therefore improve his knowledge rather than a sheep of a child who accepts whatever they're told unquestioningly and unthinkingly. FFS, this child isn't being homophobic: he's asking about the mechanics of a relationship which doesn't fit the template of sex which he's been taught at school. He's demonstrating intellectual curiosity.

But I do love the irony of you describing the questioning, intellectually curious child as ignorant 😂