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Original poster

Can I pretend that grandchild is not mine.(light-hearted).

60 replies

Burlea · 07/09/2019 16:08

Yesterday my DN got married to her girlfriend. This week my DGS has been learning about sex education. He's a very young 8.
During the wedding breakfast he was sitting next to my DM(93) we could tell he had something on his mind as he's a very deep thinker. There was 12 people on our table.
After the speeches he decided to very loudly ask Great Grandma how do 2 girls have sex as you need a penis which of the 2 brides has one.
Of course it was at a quiet moment in the room he asked. We were all trying to shut him up but that made him talk faster.

I so wished I got a photo of my mums face. She was in shock. Embarrassing but funny.

OP posts:
HerSymphonyAndSong · 09/09/2019 07:22

No, the child is not being homophobic. No one has said that. But the adults should be sensitive to the feelings of the women whose relationship they are there to celebrate.

Bezalelle · 09/09/2019 07:28

I would be mortified if this was my child. So rude and inappropriate, unwitting or not.

bert3400 · 09/09/2019 07:28

Happysummer2020

He's 8 years old ffs.....omg there is always one twat on MN and Happysummer the award goes to you Flowers

HerSymphonyAndSong · 09/09/2019 08:22

Most 8yo I know would know not to blurt that sort of question out in that situation. Nothing wrong with a child asking questions. It is the way many adults on this thread are responding that is not acceptable, not the child

Herocomplex · 09/09/2019 08:27

Would have been thrilling if your elderly relative had explained!

gamerchick · 09/09/2019 08:37

He's 8 years old ffs.....omg there is always one twat on MN and Happysummer the award goes to you

I dunno, I think it's a toss up...

It's always that one question you can't think on your feet fast enough, isn't it OP? Kids like to pick the most perfect places to make you want to shrivel up Wink mine Normally does it in queues.

jennymanara · 09/09/2019 08:40

I think the adults laughing at this was unpleasant.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 09/09/2019 08:42

Some people seriously need to fucking unclench

HerSymphonyAndSong · 09/09/2019 08:43

Had lots of questions about how you and your partner have sex, have you Trevor?

jennymanara · 09/09/2019 08:45

And an 8 year old should be told that you don't ask questions about sex in public. Or comment on other peoples bodies to them.

SarahAndQuack · 09/09/2019 08:45

Oh, FGS.

I don't think anyone is saying a child's innocent question is homophobic!

The point is that 'how do they have sex without a penis' is one of those things homophobic people say about lesbians, so I'd be mortified if a child of mine said it at a lesbian wedding.

What's not funny isn't so much the child saying it - I can totally understand a few gasps and smothered sniggers - but the grandmother coming on MN to share it as a bit of a giggle. And the poster who thinks it's 'lovely,' which really confuses me.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 09/09/2019 08:48

He asked an honest question, it wasn't homophobic, racist, offensive or any of the other shite being batted about. He'd been learning about sex in school, they only discussed PIV sex, he asked because they were women and women don't have penises. He did nothing wrong, I would've laughed too

SarahAndQuack · 09/09/2019 08:51

Literally no one is saying he was homophobic.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 09/09/2019 08:52

Trevor, read the thread. He did nothing wrong (though I am surprised at his age). It is the response of the adults, including yours, that is off. Adults should know about the homophobia lesbians are on the receiving end of, and their loved ones should be especially aware of this. As Sarah says, coming onto MN and making it out to be a bit of a giggle is really off

jennymanara · 09/09/2019 09:09

The adults who laughed were homophobic.

jennymanara · 09/09/2019 09:09

And I feel very sorry for that couple having to deal with this at their owwn bloody wedding.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 09/09/2019 09:11

It was an innocent question! The adults weren't laughing at the women getting married or their sexual preferences they were laughing at a young boy speaking about sex in front of a very elderly lady.Jesus I bet some of you are fun at parties Hmm

jennymanara · 09/09/2019 09:18

So you would have laughed if it was a woman and man couple and the man had had his penis removed e.g. because of cancer? Or would you have recognised that this innocent question is bloody offensive and apologised?

HerSymphonyAndSong · 09/09/2019 09:19

The adults showed a complete lack of insight, as do many on this thread. I don’t laugh at homophobic things at parties, do you, just to make sure no one thinks you need to unclench?

jennymanara · 09/09/2019 09:19

Because I would bet you my house that no one would have laughed if it was a scenario like that with a woman and man couple. No one.

BikeRunSki · 09/09/2019 09:20

I’d have congratulated him for listening in class and thinking beyond what he’d been taught.

NameChange84 · 09/09/2019 09:24

I genuinely don’t have a “cause” but I’m not seeing this as hilariously funny either. I’d be mortified if it was my child and would have hoped that by 8 he would have realised that it’s not really appropriate to talk about bodies and sex in public and that some things are private.

I found out the facts of life at six and as soon as I discussed it with my parents they sensitively explained that they were happy to answer my questions but that sex and people’s bodies are private and that there is a time and place for asking questions. They also explained they’d prefer it if I’d bring my questions to them rather than ask other relatives, friends of theirs or children. When we had sex education at school, our teachers set aside time and made it clear that we needed to move on after that lesson and that if we had any questions we could ask a teacher on our own at a quiet time and we also had a box that we could write down questions anonymously in and the teacher would answer at an appropriate time. This happened at two separate schools I went to.

Maybe this is a good opportunity to discuss appropriate times to ask questions about other people’s bodies OP?

jennymanara · 09/09/2019 09:24

Next time there is a thread where a child innocently says something disablist, I will wait to hear about how all the adults laughed away and thought it was funny and sweet.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 09/09/2019 09:31

He didn't say anything out of order, he correctly stated that you need a penis to have sex, as he'd been taught in school. He said it front of a 90 odd year old woman....that's what is funny. He wasn't mocking anyone, and just because people laughed doesn't mean they were either. They were laughing at the situation

jennymanara · 09/09/2019 09:33

He is old enough that he should have been taught that you don't announce these things in public. If this is true, he needs help to improve his social skills as they are below what I would expect from an 8 year old.

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