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Original poster

How can I get DS to do sport.

62 replies

HysteryMystery · 07/09/2019 10:55

He hates team sports, won't participate (it's too socially complicated/ASD).
He doesn't want to go running or biking (he's good at this).
He won't even go and play catch (v.good at) with his sister.
He is resistant to all forms of exercise. He won't even do his physio exercises any more.
He was is a sports club but he is too old now. He used to do martial arts but he stopped a while ago and won't go back.

I've had his teacher on to me because he hasn't completed a single PE lesson this term (his neck hurts, his ankle hurts, his knee hurts etc etc)

OP posts:

EdnaAdaSmith · 07/09/2019 20:11

Sorry to hear that - hopefully he's actually embarrassed about his parenting fail in riding off in a grump and failing to be anywhere near home in time to fulfill his prearranged obligation to DD. Acting like a teen involves sulking when you're in the wrong...

Good luck HysteryMystery I hope he gets over himself and starts pulling his weight. It must be hard being the only one behaving like an adult in the family despite being married to your fellow parent

Disfordarkchocolate · 07/09/2019 20:13

Sorry if it's been suggested but would try a boys-only dance class. Mine does hip-hop and breaking and loves it, fantastic exercise too.

lljkk · 07/09/2019 21:02

Can he enjoy going to the pool & splashing around, if you play with him in there, throw a ball, play simple games? Does he have any friends who like larking around in the pool?

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MrsGrindah · 07/09/2019 21:09

When you say he just sits there..can you explain exactly what’s happening? Is he watching tv, talking to others or just staring into space? And how long for?

Cacacoisfarraige · 07/09/2019 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ariela · 07/09/2019 21:29

Have a look on here:
www.rda.org.uk/ and see if there's a local group.

Also see if there is a local Facebook group for horsey people and ask if there's anywhere local that might be suitable (some riding schools are in that they're very good with kids of all types but aren't actually RDA if that makes sense) , there are also places that have therapy horses.

moonbells · 07/09/2019 21:41

I've a non-sporty HF ASD DS (11)... but we have always made it very very clear to him that some things are non-negotiable. Swimming because it's a life-saver (he's been going since 5 and now working on whatever comes after Gold survival) and a martial art to help coordination etc which he hates going to - moan moan moan but is 80% of the time OK once there. (The other 20% we just have to bite our tongues and ignore the oscar-winning performance). We have told him that if he wants to pack in either, he has to find an alternative activity/sport as not doing anything isn't on.

Turns out that finding something is more of an effort than continuing .

OTOH he has chosen to do cross-country running at school. We were baffled until someone pointed out that I'd lost weight and started running for fun and maybe he was copying. And I'd been doing it for well over a year before he decided to do it. Without me saying one word...

Is there a good reason why no swimming - is it connected with the physio? Can you get him to swimming even if it's only splashing about like lljkk says? Are there sensory issues with getting face wet?

Get your DH on board and make it clear to both of them that some kind of activity is mandatory regardless of moaning! My DH doesn't do anything sporty himself - but he does take DS to the activities while Mummy goes running .

spiderlight · 07/09/2019 22:03

Mine hated football, rugby etc., did kickboxing for about six weeks and then went off that as well, but then a local fencing club came to do a taster session at his school and he loved it. He's been fencing for two years now and competes all over the country - it's one-to-one, short bursts of activity and as much mental as it is physical, so it suits him much better than running around a field after a ball. He's also a big fan of planes and was spending hours on end on his computer playing flight sims, so a friend's mum took him along to air cadets and he loves that as well.

whattodo2019 · 07/09/2019 22:03

My 12 ur old has just joined our local gym and is loving it. It might be worth a try

Original poster

HysteryMystery · 08/09/2019 03:31

The main reasons for no swimming is that I just can't get them there right now and I can't deal with both in the pool. DS loves the water and has no fear, but cannot swim. Hey will happily jump into the deep end to make a huge splash. The main swimming pool has male/female changing rooms and he's too old to come in with me, but I can't trust him to wait for me. Then of course, I have Dd who can more or less swim but needs close supervision because she's not quite there yet and him. It turns into a "which child should I save" fiasco. The small pool, where they had lessons before the summer holidays is closed for renovation. The outdoor pool works but it's too cold now. And of course right now, it's all out of the question because I can't help even if DH were to take them.

As for the copying, he sees me doing my exercises!

Trampolining is a good idea, but I can't get him to it as it's off the bus route and I would have to cancel one of DD's activities.

I'm going to ask MIL to give him a few riding lessons for his birthday, if I can find somewhere nearby.

OP posts:

Disfordarkchocolate · 08/09/2019 07:31

Parents who think being a parent can wait until they've nothing else to do that's more fun or focused on themselves really piss me off. I hope the horse riding suggestion works, he gets to sit down but you exercise despite this so it sounds ideal. If you ever get him to the point of enjoying a walk geocaching can be great fun.

Summergarden · 08/09/2019 08:18

Sorry if I’m repeating others, but does he still enjoy playing in playgrounds? If so that definitely counts as exercise. Visit different ones to keep it interesting and different challenges.

Sometimes your DH could take a frisbee or football for a casual game too.

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