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Original poster

If you have three; is one always the odd one out?

53 replies

BlueCookieMonster · 30/08/2019 11:16

Just that really?

Is one always the odd one out. I have two close in age. But would have a bigger gap (seven years) for a potential other one.

Would one really be the odd one out?

OP posts:
Winningatseesaw · 30/08/2019 11:19

1000%. Well at least that's my experience. Except the 'odd one' might not be the one you expect. Oldest and youngest might bond, and then the middle might be the odd one.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 30/08/2019 12:28

I have a three year gap and an 18 month gap

There isnt an odd one out

But all families are very different so the same age gap maywell mean an odd one out or indeed different personalities to my three

Its a difficult one

dustybluebell · 30/08/2019 12:30

Not the same odd one out as such, but they do switch allegiance here and there.. my middle one is happy with either sibling and The eldest and youngest now get on better Grin

NoDontLookAtMeImShy · 30/08/2019 12:32

I have an 8 and 12 year old age gap.

How could there be an odd one out when there's a large age gap?

One would be a baby. I don't see how it's possible.

NoDontLookAtMeImShy · 30/08/2019 12:33

To be clear, I have an 8yo, 12yo and 8 month old

HeadintheiClouds · 30/08/2019 12:33

No.

mydogisthebest · 30/08/2019 12:37

I am one of three. 18 months between me and one sibling and 7 years between me and the other.

I was closer to the sibling who was 7 years younger than me.

I hated that when we got on the bus one of us could sit with mum, one with dad and one on their own. Lots of times 3 just felt wrong. I wasn't always left out, I think at times we all experienced it.

I hated it though and vowed if I had children I would never ever have 3

youarenotkiddingme · 30/08/2019 12:37

I don't think it's odd one out as such. But different dynamics if relationship.

There's 7 years between me and my brother (I'm oldest and he's youngest).
So we didn't 'play' together as such because by the time he was old enough to 'play' I was secondary school age.

But I use to take him out to places on the bus for the day because I was 14 and earning when he was 7 (age I was when born).

Baguetteaboutit · 30/08/2019 12:37

No. Not in our house. If it is necessary to pick holes in having three, then I suspect the complaint from my lot would be that it is difficult to shake the others off for any decent amount of time.

99mTc · 30/08/2019 12:37

I am one of 3, 2 close in age and one bigger gap. We played together the whole time, I can't remember us ever excluding or ganging up on one of us (and we quarrelled a lot).
I think it's hard to predict how things will turn out, it's more to do with personality than age gap.

lastqueenofscotland · 30/08/2019 12:38

I’m one of three I’m 27 my sister is 26 and my other sister is 20.

My two sisters get on like a house on fire I am very much the odd one out despite similar interests.

Three is a crowd

lovelyjubilly · 30/08/2019 12:39

I have an 8yo, 6yo and 1yo and I wouldn't say that any of them are the 'odd one out'.

The older two are obviously better suited when it comes to playing and the younger one had two very different relationships with her sisters - she goes to the 8yo for cuddles and the 6yo for rough-and-tumble 😁

WanderingMind · 30/08/2019 12:39

I was the odd one out - my older sister buddied up with my younger sister and constantly favoured her. If I bought something with my own pocket money (a hair slide, maybe) she would take it and give it to my younger sister for her "fair share" even though younger sister had the same amount to spend that I did. If younger sister bought something it was "hers, buy your own" all my childhood.

I hate them both now and haven't seen them in 10 years.

Tyrotoxicity · 30/08/2019 12:40

If the little one's seven years younger than the middle one, then they're going to be at very different stages while growing up, so perhaps might not be as close as the older two could be - but all families are different, all children are different, so there's really no knowing.

I was one of three; I wouldn't say there was an odd one out as such. But there were constantly shifting allegiances, and we took turns to be the one who got ganged up on by the other two. But we were only five years between eldest and youngest, so not quite the same situation as you're looking at, OP.

FrappeLatte · 30/08/2019 12:42

I was one of three. Hated it. Like a pp, I will never have three of my own - two, or four.

TwoNoisyBoys · 30/08/2019 12:44

I’m the youngest of thee girls, my sisters being 10 and 6 years older than me. As far back as I can remember, there’s ALWAYS been an odd one out, always two against one and we’ve all been the odd one out. It hasn’t changed either; my middle sister and I are now very, very low contact with the eldest, whilst we are close.
I don’t know if the dynamics would have been different if one of us was a boy? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Gustavo1 · 30/08/2019 12:44

I have three. The youngest is 2 and the oldest 6. They will sometimes all play together and sometimes pair off. Sometimes two will play something that the younger one is too small for or the older is too “old” for. The other doesn’t seem to feel left out though.
I think if the third is a long way younger, he/she may not get the chances to join in the same as by the time baby is 5, the oldest will be 12. I’m not sure that would be a problem though. With such a large age gap, they’re likely to be have different interests anyway.

SeaOtterFluff · 30/08/2019 12:45

I've found the "odd one out" shifts over time. At the moment, it's DD2 but previously it's been DD1 (when she started primary school and again at yr8), DS (when he was going through that awful yr7 stage and was just so irritating to be around). They all get on to a degree but the dynamic of having 3 is lovely. I was an only child so can't compare my own childhood.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 30/08/2019 12:46

Oh

We decided not to have number 4 because we didnt like the idea of an at least 8 year gap between 1 and 4

Although at times we have regretted that decision

Pericombobulations · 30/08/2019 12:52

Im the third wheel with my two siblings. They were very close in age (and boys), i came along later and was very much the unwanted sister. Growing up was very hard as they never wanted to include me. Even now they socialise together etc, and I never even get invited despite living very close by. However, they left as I hit my teens and I had relief of feeling like an only child and not given grief by them.

My brother went on to have 3, but that includes twins, however there are always issues with them growing up, that when my one came along it balanced everything out when the four of them got together.

I knew I never wanted 3 kids after my childhood.

MontStMichel · 30/08/2019 13:02

I had three - singleton, then twins. The oldest made sure he sided with one of the twins against the other. He swapped over every few days! There was always one left out!

Simonsaysitschristmas · 30/08/2019 13:05

I’m one of three. Growing up there were definitely times where two ganged up on the other (the most common combinations were the two same sex siblings ganging up on the other one OR the two eldest ganging up on the youngest). That said, it’s part of growing up and now we are all adults it’s completely stopped and we are all great friends. I really would love to have three children so it definitely hasn’t put me off and there has been no lasting damage Smile

eeksville · 30/08/2019 13:08

I'm one of 3, fairly close in age & same sex. I loved been one of 3 & yes sometimes our allegiances changed but we played together loads. I never understood the one gets left out comment as surely it depends on gender, gaps & personalities. Loads of my friends at school were one of 2 & didn't get on with their sibling likewise my girl cousin who has 3 older brothers often felt left out.

eeksville · 30/08/2019 13:11

My mum & aunties who also had 3 said going from 2 to 3 was easier because whereas before if 2 were fighting as a parent she had to entertain/sort out 2 but with 3 two would always been happy so she just had 1 to entertain.

mummabubs · 30/08/2019 13:16

Not necessarily. There's two years between me and my sister and then nearly 6 years between me and my youngest sister. Growing up there may have occasionally been elements of a 2 vs 1 mentality but it was never the same 2, so if it makes sense there was never one odd one out. As adults we are all really close to each other and I love the age gaps between us. :)

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