Does anyone else think your forties and fifties are difficult ages?

[gandalf456]

I've got a couple of friends approaching 50 and didn't want to do anything to celebrate as the didn't enjoy their forties so weren't looking forward to their fifties.

While it's a depressing notion, I am in my late 40s and definitely found my 40s hard - eldery parents, bereavement, minor ailments, friends with not so minor ailments, teenagers and still not quite having the freedom I was looking forward to

My relationships with friends family and professional contacts are stronger than ever. They held me up when I thought I had nothing to give. I realise now that was utter nonsense. I've plenty to give but will be keeping a LOT of it back for myself x

No way. I’m in spitting distance of 50, and life is good. Trickier To Raise dc is sailing along, Easy Breezy dc persists in being EBdc
Work: I have to sort
Finance: needs some work but not terrible
Body: pretty good
Health: pretty good
Appetite for life: off the scale after a rocky couple of years

Im 50 its miserable. Seems liks theres nothing really to look forward to and aging parents :(

I've still got teenagers , although at the upper end now and it's bloody fantastic. I'd say the teen years are the best so far. I'd do those years all over again if I could.

Me too but although I’m hanging in in there I’m flagging. Quite a lot. I couldn’t do these years again , no way 😳

I have a 15 year old and hearing her insecurities reminds me what I do like about this age because you just don't care

My 40s have been utterly and totally horrendous. Can well understand how some don't want to celebrate.

44 here, middle age is horrible and it's all down hill from here, so hard to stay positive.

I am 48 and have a severe disability, but I am such a positive person I never look to far into the future. Ageing is the least of my problems to be honest. Age is purely a number, it doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom.

It's a mixed bag for me.

I am definitely more tired and finding full time work harder. Had bereavements and suffer from minor ailments more myself. Totally aware of how health can become a lottery as we get older.

But... I am more confident and richer and do things now that I would have not been able to do in my younger years. I am planning for an early retirement as I don't want to work then die as I want to enjoy my retirement when I have my health.

Like HennyPenny I was more confident in my forties than ever before. Fifties too. I also looked good (not meaning to sound conceited, though it does), everyone told me so.

Hee hee, since then it's been downhill all the way.

50s were great! Divorced the millstone, moved to the other side of the world, fab new job, met Mr Wonderful. Best sex of my life, travelled together all over the world. Do not fear the fifties!

Im 45. Life is what you make it. If you’re unhappy, change things.

Im fitter, happy, not at all rich, my kids are thriving, i have a great circle of friends, i run marathons and get up at silly o’clock to go out running. I may have ailments but there are people out there who are in a far worse place than me.

My early 40s were fine but I'm due to turn 46 soon and things have changed due to the very ill health of a parent and just general anxiety over everything. Almost a stone in weight has come from nowhere and I really feel that my looks are beginning to fade. Then I regularly berate myself and feel guilty for not appreciating what I have etc

If you're unhappy change things

Really. REALLY?

So my ex's BP diagnosis disappears. My ds' ptsd diagnosis disappears My dd's ASD diagnodis disappears?

Have. A. Thought.

So. It has been a decade of young children, horrible bereavement, major surgery, perimenopause, massive anxiety, terrible work stress etc etc. 50 should be the start of winding down but will have to work til I drop.

Initially I couldn’t have been happier in my 40s - felt confident in my career, met The One, became a mum of two (I’ll be in my 60s when they’re in their teens!) . Then suddenly this year everything has been thrown in the air and I’m really struggling (albeit silently) ... Dad died very suddenly, both children (toddlers) now have emerging special needs, partner likely to be made redundant and won’t get another post locally, Mum’s health deteriorating, peri menopause; have now given up my career to cope with these things and can’t remember what it’s like to have a social life.

What I meant to add was that I’m not sure whether it’s my age(decade) that’s to blame or just bad luck? Up to 46, my 40s were great ...

For me mid to late forties were very hard. Ill parents, bereavements, friends getting ill. I had about three years where so many people died. First my brother, an aunt, both my in laws, and two friends. By the end of those three years I felt so worn down with life.
I used to think I wanted to live to an old age, but Now the last thing I want to do is outlive my partner, other siblings, cousins and friends.

Also the positive thinking stuff just made me feel worse at the time. Sorry if I can't think positively about a string of bereavements.

Forties: a lot of self discovery, some really big upheavals and I trained in a new profession. I’m 52 now and doing my utmost to stay curious and adventurous. My mum is quite frail now and is likely to need more support. I’m probably in meno’ and that’s been, erm, varied....but I’m certainly not up for letting go of what matters whilst my ovaries plan their retirement party.

I am trying to have fun and stay engaged with life but it is hard with the sword of Damocles of a degenerative health condition. I try to take pleasure in small things and not to worry about the things I can’t control. I’m not finding this the best time of life though - my hope and optimism has gone and it’s horrible watching others around me get sick and die too.