Time for an annoying adverts thread!

[TheZeppo]

Granted, it’s Summer hols and therefore I’m home more often (and therefore see more adverts).

HOWEVER: that bloody Vodaphone advert (woman in the red coat that splits into eleven thousand versions of herself) is on all the bloody time.

And today I have watched the ‘strings and things’ advert over and over. It’s all annoying things at once: random, random kid, repetitive, annoying music, leaching off popular TV hit.

GAAAHHH.

It has to be Warner Leisure Hotels. You know, the Adult only hotels for Pensioners.

"Wake up at the crack of Noon"
"Spend an hour ....or FOUR, lying at the pool"
"Cocktails on the terrace! In Berkshire!"

"Warner Leisure Hotels.....Feel like you've had a PROPER break"

WHAT, FROM BEING FUCKING RETIRED?

She still has a fridge full of nothing but peppers, tho but she now at least bites into an actual apple, rather than a pepper!

Those yoghurt ads where some woman shouts out in a shocked and surprised manner, "Fat free?!" especially the one where she does a back flip though over the bar with the yoghurt and spoon in her hand.

Any smartphone and that boasts about how great its camera is and shows some photographer taking quick phone snaps of places without putting any thought or effort into it and then walking off. The resulting shot is always amazing. You can have the best camera in the world but if you don't spend time thinking about and composing the photo you're taking it's going to be mediocre at best!

Oh and another one, Dorneo mattresses!! It makes me want to drop the TV from a great height. Preferably on the ad makers head! Banging on about well, a mattress, complete with the gurning couple laying on a completely unmade bed, apparently asleep and the woman never ever removes her make up.

ScS. DFS any sofa advert, along with that oak furniture ' no veneer in here ' place. Quite frankly, I would like to shove one of his oak table legs up his arse sideways, while battering the other sofa companies to death with the other three.

Over 50? You're over the hill and you need to start thinking about your loved ones. Fuuuck offff and take your free bloody ' just for enquiring ' Parker pens with you! You bloody lump of knob cheese!

Need a boiler fixing / a new car / a load of debt because we charge you an extortionate amount of interest? Simply call ' Loans you will never be able to pay off due to our interest rates '

Bored? Lonely? Simply log onto one of our bingo / betting sites where you can make wonderful online friends while you bet away the money that you've just borrowed. It's foolproof ( or foolish ) for a tenner you can have 50 free spins, and although we guarantee you will be a winner, we won't pay out due to you having to put it on yet more spins. That bookie ain't driving a Ferrari for nothing you know.
However, at least he has a car, you traded yours in at ' we buy any car at way below market value ' which you had to sell to pay your instalment to the doorstep lender.
Never mind though, you may be able to buy another one when your claim arrives from the injury lawyers for your broken finger, which was due to hitting the free spin on the slots too hard in frustration.

Go Outdoors is unbelievably patronising with that song. The lyrics are:

‘Why don’t you get off your phone and Go Outdoors’

I just want to shout back ‘I’ve been outdoors! To go to work full time, do the nursery run, prepare for tomorrow, go to the gym, make dinner, manage our house extension. Etc etc. I’m exhausted and just want to sit on my phone.

The Right said Fred one, where everyone is so utterly delighted and thrilled at being ripped off by equity release bastards.

The thatchers cider advert is annoying me. Why did they think it was a good idea to show someone driving while they are drinking alcohol!

Lots!

But ..

At the moment I think the NSPCC one with the child free falling through the sky would have absolutely terrified me as I child.

And the Go Compare ad with the car somersaulting on the road and Go Compare man falling out really hits the wrong note to my mind! It's shown realistically but then supposed to be funny?!? Wtf?

Rob Brydon acting like a smug prick on a cruise ship. "I could get off this ship and look around, but instead I'll stay here and drink cocktails".

Why the fuck are you on a cruise then?

The one about the movie of bad-tempered avian creatures (I’m not going to state the name, in case the ad appears again), which plagued MN for so long. I was sick of that yellow thing being catapulted at my screen, where it’s beak got stuck!

OK mines really weird but the magnum white chocolate and cookies, because it makes me iche like crazy . My mum feels the same.

The Trivago woman makes me want to reach into my telly and slap her senseless. I am not a violent woman but ...

@Cruddles
He was in my husband's class at school.
He was a knobber then according to him. ( Rob B that is, not my husband )
He wants to punch his mush in every time he see's him on the TV.

Did anyone get the estate agent ad with the naked hairy backed bald guy on here for ages?

Oh that just reminded me of the older bloke in purple budgie smugglers pinging them out of his bum and then he dives into the pool. AAAArgh

PP has already mentioned this one - Just Eat. It drives me mad! Some idiot starts singing 'Did somebody say Just eat?' at the top of their voice and I'm shouting at the telly, 'No! Nobody did FFS!'
It just doesn't make any sense because nobody says it at all.

They say something like what shall we have for dinner? Then someone starts yelling did somebody say just eat. It could easily have been made to make sense though. If the character said something like 'I could just eat a chicken tikka' then it would make sense.

Think I might have been giving this advert too much thought. Good job it's nearly time to go back to work!

We always mute the Cillit Bang advert. And it also annoys me that when it first came out there was one product that was supposed to do everything; now there's a whole line of them.

“I feel as clean as a spoon in a circus!”

Stop talking nonsense, you irritating child.

flash aw aw aw, cleans up the impossible.........wtf were Queen thinking? They are all already richer than God.

Any advert that makes women look like vacuous idiots. So, any advert with a woman in.

I love the Eve mattress one with the dancing sloth!

Who are all these people in mattress adverts that sleep on mattresses with nothing to cover it though?

The one with the kid dancing to the Thomas music drives me insane.

Aldi's woman making fucking fruity packed lunch boxes. Balls to that.

That one with the Welsh opera singer crashing into a tree while his alter ego narrates It is on every ad break on ITV 2 and 3 at the moment.
You never know what is around the corner apparently! Well we do actually because we have seen it 1000 times so far. Just do it properly next time ! But no he still manages to warble Go Compare !

Just why don’t the two women at the gym twat the Trivago woman one for gatecrashing their convo’ with her blather?

My theory is the ‘how do I keep my mouth clean?’ woman was the victim of alien abduction many years ago and is trying to relearn human ways - that explains the fridge of peppers (poor dear doesn’t quite get the whole human food protocol yet).

My DM and I get the rage at the wine ad’ with those unbearably smug men gurning about their skydiving adventures 😡

Any involving twee poetry, the Nationwide ones being the front runner. Smug, patronising and very little to do with banking!

Is it Nationwide who also have that amazing groundbreaking 'tip' that 'it's easier to save money if you do it on the day you're paid' ?

It is if you actually have spare money for the month; otherwise, you're already saving the money.... to pay your electricity bill.