Deciding whether or not to start trying for a baby at 23

[Pkatie96]

Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years now and been talking about trying for a baby the last year but neither of us no if we are 100% we both really want children and I always said I wanted them before I was 25 or when I was 25 but I'm just scared I'm going to miss my life and holidays before kids maybe this sounds selfish but I don't want to bring a child into the world to regret not waiting I don't really have any friends to talk to about this so any other people experiences would be very helpful

There’s no harm in waiting even for seven years, you’re still very young in terms of fertility so I wouldn’t think about trying just yet.

I am a young Mum myself but I didn’t think I was too young and selfish before I started TTC. You clearly don’t feel ready yet and that’s absolutely fine.

Enjoy your life first! We went travelling at 24 and it was the best decision we made. I am now 29 and expecting our first baby. I too wanted to be a young mum but so glad we waited.
But obviously op it depends on what is more important to you.

I became pregnant with my first when I was 23, not planned. I love my children but sometimes wish I had done a bit more in my early 20s getting my career going and having some time to just do what I like and go on nice holidays etc. I'm now late 20s, about to try get my career going which is going to be more difficult with having kids. I love them both so much and wouldn't be without them but ime it's challenging.
Why not create a list of things you'd really like to do /achieve before having kids, then start trying when you've done it all?

Its totally up to you but I would seriously think about waiting a bit longer. See
the world and strengthen your relationship.

We had children young mid 20s and it was hard and a bit of a shock really. I wouldn't change them for the world but I wish I'd had a few more years of being 'me'.

Don’t do it it! Have a few years of fun! Go travelling! Focus on your career / home / hobbies. There is mobrush!!

Mobrush = mobrush.

My DH and i got married when i was 23 and he was 22. We both wanted children but decided to wait. I had my first at 28 and my last at 35. It worked well and meant we were in a more financially secure place when we had them allowing me to be a SAHM for a few years.

Wait.
Marry first. Not to be all 1950s about it but it's handy to have legal protection before anyone reduces their income with mat leave or by staying at home full time.
Do you live together?

And remember, just because you've said you want them at or before 25, there's no obligation to stick to it.

If you’re not sure don’t.

Don't do it. You're clearly not ready.

If you're not sure then wait.
At your age I was sure I wanted to start a family and that travelling from then on would include bringing dc with us. And it has been great because it's what me and dp both wanted.
You have to be sure on things like this. It sounds as though you are not so maybe you should wait.

Don't rush in to it, plenty of time. Wait a few more years.

I had my first at 31, we were already together for 14 yrs by the time she was born.

I wld have liked a few yrs earlier but I was studying for a professional qualification so wanted that and to get married first.

I am so glad we waited, we had so many amazing holidays and saw a lot of the world. We reminisce about it these days lol.

I always knew I wanted children but I was surprised at how much of ur time is taken with them. There's no popping to the pub for a few drinks and everything has to be pre arranged. They are amazing but life just totally changes. Enjoy being young and relatively care free!

Agree with others how come you feel you have to have a baby before 25?
Me and DH got married young (22) but then we enjoyed our time together travelling/doing what we wanted basically. We had our first at 29 and I'm currently expecting our second at 31.
Life changes massively when you have children. It was a shock for us at 29. I am glad we spent the first 7 years of our marriage just enjoying time together. Not saying in any way I regret my DC I love my DD more than I thought was possible. She is the best to happened to us.
Maybe wait another year see how you feel.

If you’re not sure, then don’t. Personally I think making not easily reversible situations before the age of 25 is a poor decision.

You don't sound like you think you're ready, and that's OK. You have years ahead of you.
Travel, enjoy life, get married especially if you intend to be a SAHM and then try for babies when you both know you want them

I’d say wait. Only because I didn’t. Have a life, see the world, lie in bed all weekend reading a book or sit in the garden drinking wine all day then go for a sleep before going out for dinner. Once the kids come it’s lovely but the stress comes with them.

I had DD at 23 and it was the best choice I've ever made but god if you're not 100% absolutely wait. You have years before you need to worry about it

I always said I wanted my first baby at 25 but I'm now 28 and expecting my first and looking back, I'm so glad I waited because in the last few years me and my DH have had the best time travelling and not having to worry about anybody else but now we're ready to take that leap. There's no going back once you've had the baby so just be sure you've enjoyed plenty beforehand x

Everyone's different but if you have any reservations at all I would say wait. There's really no rush. I had my first at 30 and it's been fab. I like to think I'm still young! And my husband and I have been in a stable relationship for 12 years, married 4. We have a home and savings so when I took my maternity leave I could enjoy it and do activities, day trips etc with the baby and not worry too much about money. In our 20s we travelled and also progressed in our careers. You have lots of time.

Only have a baby if you really, really want the responsibility. If ypu’re not ready, wait.

You’re

What's the rush? Plenty of living to do first.

Dont! A. Youre not sure. B. Enjoy your life and freedom first. Gain knowledge and experience you cant easily with a family.

Are you where you want to be career wise? Establish a career first. It is easier to go back to one than to start fresh.

Your pension payments are worth more in your early 20’s than later. Focus on savings and a pension.

Do not take a career break to raise children, not pay into a pension and not create savings, especially when you're not Married.

Do you own a house or rent? It will be much easier to save a deposit without the added enormous cost of children.

This is one of those decisions which determine how easy or difficult your life will be later.

I got pregnant with my first at 23. Married and a home owner.
Worst decision ever as my ex was a twat.
Don't do it.

I’d wait a couple of years and enjoy yourself.