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Original poster

"Isms" on Mumsnet

54 replies

LaMarschallin · 25/08/2019 14:16

I'm avoiding AIBU because threads there often end in an argument and I really don't want one.

So, if I don't get "traffic" I'll accept it.

There are various, what may be described as, "Isms". It seems to me.

For example, often people who criticise Meghan Markle or Prince Harry are accused of racism.

(I mention that because, personally, I've noticed it quite a bit.)

But ageism seems to me the most prevalent and least objected to on MN.

Just throwing that out there for a (hopefully reasonable and well argued) debate.

OP posts:
Belgravian · 25/08/2019 14:18

Bunfight in 3....2.....1

KatherineJaneway · 25/08/2019 14:19

Examples?

Original poster
LaMarschallin · 25/08/2019 14:21

@Belgravian

Bunfight in 3....2.....1

Oh, bugger.

Do you think so?

That really wasn't the point of me starting this. I just thought a sort of on-line chat could be interesting.

OP posts:
Drabarni · 25/08/2019 14:22

I find racism the biggest, people don't even realise they are doing it, it's very Sad

birdsdestiny · 25/08/2019 14:24

Well the people who post on MN are real people consequently some will be racist or sexist etc and some won't. I find the threads about disabilities the most difficult to watch as people's lack of empathy is often quite upsetting.

Belgravian · 25/08/2019 14:25

I would say that man hating is the worst thing on Mumsnet not ageism.

They take down threads that have the slightest whiff of negativity about the appearance of Vorderman, Markle, Price saying it’s not in the spirit of Mumsnet and against their talk guidelines etc.

That’s fair enough as gossip and slagging off celebrities is a bit pointless.

However, they allow they see the slagging off of any male celebrity as being fair game. There was a horrible thread recently about Greg Wallace, Nick someone and another male celebrity who’s name escapes me encouraging posters to question why they had younger girlfriends, implying that the men were in an attractive and old etc.

They are also biased against any male politician who is not left wing.

They would never allow the N word about a black person but allow the word Gammon in relation to white males.

Awful double standards on here.

Samcro · 25/08/2019 14:26

there is a lot of disablism on mn

Original poster
LaMarschallin · 25/08/2019 14:27

@KatherineJaneway

Examples?

I don't know if it's a bit infra dig to refer to another thread, but I did read this afternoon a post saying "Menopausal moment Grin" about someone who'd not been totally sympathetic about a crying child.

There have been others I've noticed but not I've made notes of them all. I'd worry I was a bit obsessional if I had.

Any "Examples" that you can produce to disprove my theory?

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 25/08/2019 14:29

They would never allow the N word about a black person but allow the word Gammon in relation to white males

Oh come on are you really suggesting those are a reasonable comparison.

Disablism and racism are rife on MN.

Equally any agism should be - and often is - remarked upon.

Original poster
LaMarschallin · 25/08/2019 14:31

Having read above posts, I may well be wrong about the most prevalent "Ism".

I did say I was just asking for a debate.

And a civilised one, for preference.

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 25/08/2019 14:36

Not a dig at all. Just trying to understand what prompted the thread.

Lots of threads I miss so sometimes I hear about X thread and miss the source of the 'argument' behind the new thread.

staydazzling · 25/08/2019 14:39

disabilism is a big unspoken about issue on here to the point the SEN board had to ask not to be in active threads due to high levels of ignorance on threads, that means its not as utilised as i could be. Sad

NoBaggyPants · 25/08/2019 14:49

dazzling, I didn't realise those threads weren't showing up. Thank you for posting, I'll know to look now.

Disablism on here is terrible, especially around hidden disabilities. Ignorance is a kinder word than I would use!

NoBaggyPants · 25/08/2019 14:52

They are also biased against any male politician who is not left wing

You've obviously missed the Corbyn bashing threads. Him and his pesky raincoats!

Original poster
LaMarschallin · 25/08/2019 14:54

I may well be wrong about the most prevalent "Ism".

And maybe thinking it's most prevalent is wrong. And all of the racist/disableist etc things are horrible.

But perhaps ageism least objected to here?

Terms like "old biddy".
"Old women" seem to be the only people (exaggeration on my part there but it's often used in posts) who look at people's babies.

In my defence, I'm well pre-pensionable age, but worked to help older people, so feel worried about the stigma that seems to go with age.

If somebody over sixty is being annoying the question seems often ssked: "Could they be demented?".
Well, statistically, probably not. They might just be annoying. As people can be.

Those are some "Examples".
But I can't produce actual.posts. Sorry.

OP posts:
NoBaggyPants · 25/08/2019 14:54

I saw blatant racism referred to as "unwise pinpointing of a person's nationality" (paraphrasing).

Sad sign of the times I'm afraid.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 25/08/2019 15:06

I see "ageism" called out All.The.Time. on here, even when it's just used as a descriptor.

"I saw an old lady... blah... whatever..."

"Nice bit of ageism there OP, why did you feel the need to mention her age Hmm"

Original poster
LaMarschallin · 25/08/2019 15:07

@KatherineJaneway

Not a dig at all

No. I didn't mean to say it was a "dig". I just worried whether it was "infra dig" to refer to another thread. Short for the Latin phrase "infra dignatem".
I should have said that I was worried that referring to ine thread on MN on a different thread might be frowned upon. So didn't want to do it much hence couldn't give many "Examples".

I don't think anyone has had a "dig".

en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/infra_dig

Perhaps I used "infra dig" wrongly.

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 25/08/2019 15:22

Perhaps I used "infra dig" wrongly.

My ignorance, I had not heard that phrase before.

Original poster
LaMarschallin · 25/08/2019 16:27

@KatherineJaneway

My ignorance, I had not heard that phrase before.

Tbh, I'm not sure I used it properly anyway.

MN isn't the place for a measured debate, is it?
My fault. I shouldn't have started this thread.

OP posts:
Deadsetgo · 25/08/2019 16:31

The man hating is bad on here. It’s embarrassing at times

staydazzling · 25/08/2019 16:42

yeah its a real shame the had to hide SEN board, shocking really, from active, ignorant ppl ruin everything :(

staydazzling · 25/08/2019 16:44

the "why do some people not believe in asd" was illuminating and depressing in equal measure.

JacquesHammer · 25/08/2019 16:49

from active, ignorant ppl ruin everything

Could be MN’s new strapline to be fair

Flowers
mrsmuddlepies · 25/08/2019 16:56

I see so much ageism on here. I reported a thread where posters were encouraging someone on a MIL thread to fool her MIL into thinking she had dementia. It involved suggestions that they hide stuff, leave leaflets around and generally try to make her doubt her sanity. It was regarded as a laugh by most posters.
I asked how they would feel if someone was to gaslight them into believing they had a terminal illness.
The OP appeared on the thread to tell me she thought their suggestions were disgusting.
I reported the thread which was not taken down. And forwarded the link to the thread to the Alzheimer's Society.
It would appear that gaslight ing is wrong if done to a young women but is a hoot if directed at an older woman.