MIL stories

[AllInTheBestPossibleTaste]

Sat on my own bored. My MIL has little to do with us....nothing personal, she's just that way. Make me realise how lucky I am and share your worst, overstepping CF MIL stories with me.

My MIL is generally lovely and very helpful. However, she doesn't understand my need for keeping some things private.
She told a mutual acquaintance about my MMC. So when I had cancer, I got DH to ask her to not tell anyone outside immediate family. She agreed but apparently her friends count as "immediate family".

I love my MIL, She is very warm and easy to get along with. She is also young!! Had 3 kids by 20. She is very understanding/ helpful the only negative thing she has ever said that I was an old mother. I was 30 when 1st child was born!!! FFS

mine didn't pay her morgage for a number of years until they had racked up 10k debts and final notices. phoned up dh crying for him to get a loan out so they won't lose their house and when i said no they haven't spoken to me since.

FFS. Another MIL bashing thread? If any MILs on here started a DIL bashing thread, so many posters would be (rightly) up in arms.

I'm quite aware I'll be told 'you don't need to read it' blah blah blah, no I don't. But it's really fucking unnecessary and unkind.

My MIL is lovely but you would never tell her anything you wouldn't mind being public knowledge. I know way too much about the health/private lives if most of her relatives and friends.

Mine told her whole family she was dying of cancer. Massive big announcement at a family party. Her children all crying, family gutted.

It was a complete lie.

MN mums with sons, will be the MIL one day.

I wonder how many of us will have DIL's on here, complaining about us?

MiL lives in the centre of London and think the West Country (where I keep her son hostage) is basically an episode of Last Of The Summer Wine.

Because of this she once invited a random friend around so DS could 'see a black person'.

We have black friends. She'd met them. But they didn't count. I don't know why.

I had a triplet of exercise balls blown up for myself (and for DD to play with), MIL came to visit and throughout the day she complained about them being in the way and while out of sight of everyone she stabbed them with something small, keys or a file or something. Had to chuck them all away.

FFS. Another MIL bashing thread?

Yes, Ben the MIL bashing on here makes me wince. It's like a Bernard Manning show sometimes. Any family members can be difficult or unkind, but for some reason MILs are singled out for special disdain.

The ridiculous thing is that many posters here are mothers (with it being Mumsnet and everything) and will likely hold some sort of MIL position themselves in the future, yet they are happy to maintain the tired and awful "MIL as monster" trope.

My MIL is a much nicer person than my mother. We are not close but I know she would be there if I needed her

we actively avoid my MIL his mum

Please stop these sort of threads. They really aren’t nice.
Asking advice on specific issues maybe, but not just lets bash MILs.

I don't know if I feel like I'm missing out really, as she's not around. My own DM passed away when I was quite young so did think it would be nice to have a sort of mother daughter relationship but it's clear that won't be the case. If we ever go to hers for the day she will get dh doing all sorts of jobs, she won't interact with the children so I'm kind of left alone with the kids. She kind of excluded herself though, as she ran off with her daughters fella....but that's another thread

I don't know if I feel like I'm missing out really, as she's not around

Then surely "Tell me your nice stories about MILs" may have been more satisfying than requesting MIL horror stories? Or are you trying to assuage your disappointment by reinforcing the cliché that all MILs are awful, therefore you're not missing much?
Whatever, horrible thread.

My MIL is like Felicity Kendall, absolutely lovely, makes great food when we visit, keeps animals, not interested in being pushy with/about the grandchildren, just being a lovely nana.

"she will get dh doing all sorts of jobs"

If your dh is unhappy with that or doesn't want to do the jobs perhaps he should start standing up to her.

This is a terrible thread. What next? Tell me about your awful DD? Talk to me about what a bitch your sister is?

Perhaps most of you are giving vibes off that you hate your mil, hence the frosty relationship.

Those posters saying ‘MIL-bashing’ threads are appalling, etc.

Have you actually read them? 90% of this thread details the most shocking behaviour known to womankind. If only half of it is true (and it all sounds plausible to me) then people have a right to share. They aren’t laughing, it’s a tragedy that no one invited into their life. Presumably everyone hopes to have a good relationship with their MIL.

Remember that every person posting is relating their own personal lived experience, mostly with significant pain behind it. They aren’t inventing a general movement against MILs. No one is waving placards suggesting MILs should be banned. MILs are not a minority group that needs protecting.

Don’t like these threads? There’s loads of others to enjoy. Mumsnet’s good like that. Or start up MILsnet?

Or start up MILsnet?

Well, I'm not actually a MIL, so I won't be doing that.

Yes, some MILs have been horrific beyond belief, and theres no harm in sharing experiences. But then again, so have some mothers, FILs, BILs, sisters, SILs.. and all sorts of other relatives. No one is starting threads about them as an individual group. It's only ever MILs that are singled out to be complained about en masse and it perpetuates a damaging and sexist stereotype.

We're all (mostly) nice and reasonable women here... are we going to turn into monsters the minute our adult DCs get into serious relationships?

Only those of us with sons TheYeaSayer 😁

I agree about the damaging and sexist stereotype of MILs being monsters.

We had our niggles when I was pregnant.She commented on my stomach stretch marks without being asked for example but we are better now.I prefer her in small doses as we are fairly different in most ways but also we are both alpha females.

Posted on her Facebook I'd had the baby and then proceeded to tell everyone the sex, weight time of birth. She then said well I didn't tag you ... so she thought that was ok.

The yea sayer, many times posters who are not yet mils say Mil posts teach them what not to do.

How to be aware of ourselves and our needs and respect others

. Not hard really??

Applauds skittles and beer.

Gobbolino Ah, so MIL bashing threads are actually in the interests of education?

Give over.

And you've completely ignored my point that this is the only family member who is singled out for particular scorn; generally by people who may likely become MIL themselves at some point.

And most of us already know how to be decent, considerate human beings, actually. Those that don't probably don't care.

W