How do I blackout a cotbed?

[OoohOnly90CaloriesIllhave10]

We are living in a house that's temporary. But the whole side of it is a window. You have to climb a ladder to reach the top so it's impossible to use a blackout blind.
We are here for a few months and I need to make the room darker.

With the best will in the world, we cannot put him in another room, there is no room to do so.

His sleep is horrific but I've got a plan with a sleep consultant, it's going to cost me hundreds so I need to get this right.

He has a cot bed, how can I make his small space blacked out for this sleep training (not CC) to work?

There is a black out cover for a travel cot. But that means buying a travel cot and £50 for the travel cot cover which I will do if I have to but I'd rather not spend even more.

Is there anything I can use to black out my baby's cotbed itself?

(Also, breastfeeding a terrible sleeper with reflux is bad enough without also having a house move to contend with, so I do feel for you!)

IAt first my ds just cried and cried. But eventually he worked out that he wasnt going to get mum so dad*

That sounds awful. I'd rather wake every 15 minutes.
I tried letting him cry once, 2 hours in and I'm never doing it again.

Thank you Namechange

I know, I totally get it. I remember absentmindedly fantasised about needing an operation or something as at least I’d get a few hours sleep. It’s bloody hideous.

I know you really really want the SC to work. And I’m sure they can help you to get him to sleep without breast (what’s your plan when you’re at work - are you going to express or give formula). I just worry that it won’t help you much if there’s something else going on and he’s still waking multiple times - I know how soul destroying it can be when you have your hopes up for something to work.

If he has a heart condition is he under a paediatrician / neonatologist as well as a cardiologist? If so, I’d maybe ask them to do a sleep study if the SC doesn’t improve things.

The only way we survived the first year was to sleep in shifts - barely saw DH as we slept at different times all the time. Not much use if you’re going back to work though.

How long til you’re back at work? I’d definitely be getting DH to take over some of the settling.

Just had a thought - how big is the overall room / height of ceiling. Could you add hooks to the walls and use clothes lines and drape fabric over that? Tension rods for shower curtains so you can take them down and leave no sign?

But he was safe, it wasnt ideal like I said I left the house but ultimately I couldn't carry on spending every night fighting with a 10 month old to get him to sleep. I never had a chance to shower or have any time to myself. I was tired and it was affecting the parenting of my other child. I dont know what you are expecting from the sleep consultant but I am sure at some point you will be expected to let him cry for a bit. My ds cried for maybe 45 mins.

Believe it or not he has a really intensive sleep study don't at St Thomas hospital. This will put me but I will show you a photo in a minute.

He woke up every 10 minutes that night!
But to be fair he was covered in wires, couldn't share a bed with me and cut his first tooth while we were there.

The guy came in and asked if he always woke like that, he couldn't believe how bad it was and that was his job.

All results were normal!

I don't the cardiology team how much we woke but really that's not a symptoms of his particular heart thing anyway and he's been fully investigated in surgery and it's just an isolated anomaly.

Because he's had this heart condition he's had every part of him fully investigated and had great paediatric care at st Thomas hospital.

I think we just need to blackout the room.

I'm joking, I know it's not that simple

Intensive sleep study!

Awww what a gorgeous boy 👶

Thank you, he looks very different now, 4 months on!

Yeah, the equipment is pretty brutal isn’t it? Not sure how anyone is supposed to sleep like that! We did one where we took all the equipment home in a suitcase and did it ourselves... it wasn’t very effective 😂

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. There must be some reason he’s waking so often, when he wakes up is he immediately crying? Demanding milk? I’d definitely try raising the head of the cot in case it is still reflux related.

I hope the SC can help you, it’s such a lonely and distressing place to be but you’re not alone.

I’ve got one bedroom with the grownlinds up permanently and one with some black a3 paper bluetacked to the window. It looks shite but super cheap and all you’d need to do is get one pad of A3 black paper. It works, it’s cheap and temporary. The black paper will come down as soon as it stops getting light at 5am.

BEDinhalfanhour, I meant that ‘you’ as a general you. I could have made that clearer, yes, but work away.

Beautiful baby, OP! If it gives you any hope, mine was the worst sleeper my sc had ever dealt with (we did a week’s log for her of sleep/wake ups/form etc), but he responded to the routine really fast and started sleeping through within two days. Not a crying method, and though he did cry a bit, it was actually much less crying than when I was desperately trying to rock/feed/cuddle him to sleep. So he was just really knackered. He is still stuck to my legs for the whole day, so it hasn’t affected the “bond” in any way.

We also had the 'take home' sleep study but I believe that's respiratory.
The one he has on there is cardiology.
Although they test almost identical things the cardiology one is in more depth.

Or something. I can't remember.

Thanks for the sympathy, it's rubbish isn't it?

I hope the SC can help, if not I've had hell sleepers before, I'll get through it again.
I just hope my marriage survives it!

Badb that sounds exactly what we are going to do.
What was it that you did when you put him down in the cot? Just sat and reassured him? Put a hand on him?

Where do the other children sleep? Can he go in with them?

By hitting it really, really hard?

(I'll get my coat)

Ooohonly90calories, my husband sat with the him the first two nights, no hand on him because he seemed to find that annoying (DS, I mean). Then the third night he tried putting him in the cot and shush patting for 30 seconds or so, then leaving. DS just lay down and went to sleep! And since then has pretty much slept through. Actually, a few weeks ago we visited my mum and I had to share a room with him. Every time I tried to go to bed, he woke and roared the place down. I gave up and slept on the sofa after settling him the fifth time, and he slept right through again. I accept he’s probably unusual in this regard, but he just doesn’t want anyone else there while he sleeps. But I guess babies have sleep preferences as well as adults, I don’t know.

Still, I will never forget those first ten months. And I have an older girl who is also a poor sleeper, but nothing prepared me for the every hour scream-fest. It very nearly broke us all.

"I'd rather wake every 15 minutes.
I tried letting him cry once, 2 hours in and I'm never doing it again."

With all due respect, if you'd rather wake every 15 minutes than let him cry ever again, I think the sleep consultant is a waste of money and the sleep training will be a waste of effort.

If you had the kind of baby who responded to gentle, gradual methods, you wouldn't be in this situation and you wouldn't feel that you need a sleep consultant.

I've been where you are. I was desperately sleep deprived. I was absolutely adamant that I didn't want to leave my baby to cry, i found it very distressing. The problem is that he was over tired and we were so exhausted that it was affecting our mental health, our marriage and (probably most importantly) our parenting. We tried and tried the gentle / gradual methods. In the end we had to resort to controlled crying. I had been dead against it in the beginning. It was hard. But it worked. And there was actually less crying overall (during the short successful phase of CC) than before (during the long unsuccessful phase of gentle/gradual methods). Once baby (and parents) got more sleep we were all happier. So we felt it was worth it despite being difficult.

Of course it's a personal choice and while I came to that conclusion, you might not. It's just that I remember spending months and months undermining my own efforts because I wanted more sleep but didn't want any crying - and I can imagine you doing the same.

With sleep I kind of think that it's all or nothing, if you have a bad sleeper you either have to ride it out with cosleeping and breastfeeding on demand all night long, OR full on sleep training which will probably involve some crying (because that's how babies object).

Ideally the middle ground gentle/gradual methods are best, but sadly they didn't work for us and I suspect they don't work for all babies. It must depend on their needs and personalities.

Make a “seperate” room with bookcases / folding screens?

You can get temporary false wall panels. I know you don’t want to pay out but I think you’ll have to, that room just isn’t suitable for a baby.

Tbh it doesn't sound like you really want to be helped. Loads of ideas here and you're tutting at them all. Why ask if you aren't willing to listen, OP?