How do I blackout a cotbed?

[OoohOnly90CaloriesIllhave10]

We are living in a house that's temporary. But the whole side of it is a window. You have to climb a ladder to reach the top so it's impossible to use a blackout blind.
We are here for a few months and I need to make the room darker.

With the best will in the world, we cannot put him in another room, there is no room to do so.

His sleep is horrific but I've got a plan with a sleep consultant, it's going to cost me hundreds so I need to get this right.

He has a cot bed, how can I make his small space blacked out for this sleep training (not CC) to work?

There is a black out cover for a travel cot. But that means buying a travel cot and £50 for the travel cot cover which I will do if I have to but I'd rather not spend even more.

Is there anything I can use to black out my baby's cotbed itself?

I agree with PP that the reflux is not under control if he is waking every 15 minutes.
Bad sleep was our main symptom, the others were either non existent or so minor that we didn't think of reflux for a long time.
Have you ruled out CMPA? There's lots of helpful info on it on the Allergy UK website and a website/blog called dilanandme.
If the reflux is caused by CMPA, cutting dairy may well sort it and eliminate the need for any meds.
If it's not CMPA and "just" reflux, ranitidine is not the only option, there is omeprazole for example.
And as PPs said, raising one end of the cot can help. Or a wedgehog under the mattress.

We have been co-sleeping, I got the cot recently. It's a new situation.

He hates co-sleeping as do I. Every time
I roll over he wakes up, it's a nightmare.

Even if it is reflux, he needs to be taught how to settle to sleep without my breasts because I'm going back to work.

Be has no dairy in his diet whatsoever. It's a reflux trigger.

I have a cotbed. And if I wanted to go down the route of getting that kind of cover then I would need to get a travel cot or another cot and new mattress which I was hoping to avoid.

OP, that link that was posted for the snoozeshade is for cots up to 120×60 cm which is huge. That's the size of my cotbed. You wouldn't need to buy a travel cot, depending on the size of your cotbed of course. Do you know the dimensions?

I haven't rtfs but when DS1 was in Berlin his windows were about 15 ft high. We bought curtains from Ikea while we were there for a long weekend. We fixed the curtains at the top and put a rod so they could be draped during the day.

When cosleeping with dc2 at that age, I didn't roll over because I have been told that there's only one safe cosleeping position when they're so little. Can you just stay in one position and prop your back and knees up with pillows?

OoohOnly90Calories, I totally understand your frustration. All this "have you tried xyz" is intensely annoying when you are in the thick of it, and yes of course you have tried everything. FWIW, in our case it wasn't reflux, or CMPA, or fourth trimester, or separation anxiety or anything: he also hated co-sleeping, and wasn't comforted by feeding/rocking/singing/patting/bouncing. Actually, what he wanted was to BE asleep, but didn't know how to GO asleep, and so he was furious at being awake and would just scream himself to sleep in my arms. Which was very traumatic for us both. People whose babies are actually comforted by feeding/co-sleeping will simply not understand this, and it is frustrating to have to constantly explain it and justify it.

Anyway, sleep training worked for us at 10.5 months and he has slept through most nights since then, but the key things that helped it be successful were night weaning and his own dark, quiet room. I'm not sure if you can achieve those things at the moment, so I don't know if it would work. But I understand you are desperate - absolutely get it - so I would say the blackout blinds on the windows is probably your best bet. It is a pain having to take them down every day, so I would just leave them up as much as possible and use the light.

Good luck to you - it's a horrible experience and I remember it vividly.

There's no need to write the same things again in bold

I get that you're frustrated but people are genuinely trying to be helpful.

"Be has no dairy in his diet whatsoever"
If you are breastfeeding and eating dairy yourself, there will be a small amount of cows milk protein in your breastmilk.

Of course it might not be relevant at all. I just mentioned it because it was relevant to us.

Good luck to you.

If his day naps are fine, what makes you think the light is the issue?

8 months is a peak separation anxiety time. If you’ve moved him into his own sleeping space he’s getting used to that at the time he’s wanting you to be close.

Badb omg YES.

You totally get it!!! He's so tired he has dark circles under his eyes.
He doesn't want all the things I'm trying with him, he just needs solid sleep. He acts like a typical over-tired baby. The more over-tired he gets the worse his sleep is.

He doesn't want to be rocked or next to me in bed, he just needs sleep and I need to teach him how to do it. How to go back to sleep when he wakes up.

Thank you for understanding! I've tried a thousand things and considered a million more. He's my third child and he just needs sleep.

Thanks for the suggestions.

Believe it or not, I wasn’t trying to be condescending - I was trying to be helpful.

I know how hard it is to get something like enlarged adenoids diagnosed because it took me nearly a year of pushing, and you can’t tell from just looking in a baby’s mouth - he had to have a camera down his throat which revealed almost a complete obstruction from one side when oral exams seemed normal. So it’s very possible to have a baby with an issue like this and not have the diagnosis because getting referred to an ENT can be a bloody nightmare unless there’s a very obvious problem.

My son would too wake up after about 15 minutes because as his body relaxed he could no longer breathe easily and it woke him up. I never noticed any apnoea but it still massively disrupted his sleep.

And yes, sleep deprivation is the absolute pits - my twins are now almost 3, both diagnosed with ASD and have sleep issues from hell that run alongside that. I’m absolutely fucking exhausted.

I totally understand your frustration. All this "have you tried xyz" is intensely annoying when you are in the thick of it, and yes of course you have tried everything

Is the cot propped up head end?

No it isn't!, I only got the cot a couple of days ago, I will do that though thank you

back atcha.

The cot is for when we begin using the sleep consultant.
God forbid I don't think of propping the ends of the cot while he sleeps in my bed.

Sorry, hit post too soon

What I was trying to say is that I totally understand wanting to pay someone to come in and tell you how to fix it. I did! But they couldn’t as there was too much underlying stuff going on, and only sorting out that stuff could fix it (which it sort of did, for a while). It’s the worst place to be. I’m just a bit concerned for you OP as I was told by DT2’s ENT that waking up so frequently wasn’t just a normal example of poor sleep that could be fixed by sleep training or similar. I hope you get some sleep soon.

He doesn't have ENT issues, he has been fully investigated because he has a heart condition (which doesn't cause him to wake at night ) they checked with a camera up his nose.

I just wanted to black out his cot area. That's all I was asking.

It's fine though DH and I are going back to the drawing board. Something has to change

I would just cover the windows all the time tbh. It's not ideal but its surely better than covering the cot.
Do you go into him everytime he wakes. Have you tried just going out and leaving him with your dh? My ds was terrible for needing me to go to sleep. When it all got to much I just stopped doing bedtimes. My dh does them, when my ds was around 10 months and still feeding during the night I would only feed him if it had been over 3 hrs from his last feed. Any other time my dh dealt with him. It took a few days (weeks) but eventually he stopped having to feed to sleep.
If he has reflux definitely go back to the drs about changing medication. It might be his dose just needs upping.

No I've never left him with DH. I think I'm too controlling when it comes to babies.
I think I must be otherwise I would have asked DH to take the baby?!

We have three and they never snuggle into him, he's a playful fun parent.
So I think I just worry that the baby will wake further with him.

To my detriment, clearly. I should have asked if he tried a long time ago.
I think it's way past that now.

What it stopping you asking for a change in meds for reflux? There are loads of posts on MN about babies suffering on one type then when it's changed its like magic as they're so much better.

We have tried all the meds I just couldn't be arsed to answer the 603658268 questions that had nothing to do with blackout stuff.

Thanks to those who tried to help me with the actual blackout blinds stuff.

When it comes down to it, it's either black out the enormous window (and the other two smaller windows which I blooming forgot about) or he sleeps somewhere else entirely which seems unattainable at the moment.

I was simply responding to what you’d posted - I (and quite a lot of others) gave multiple ideas for doing that, but it would need to be quite a large area to make sure there’s enough air flow (so making use of screens or rails or curtain rods attached to the ceiling etc).

The issue that concerned me wasn’t that he requires a breastfeed to go to sleep (that’s pretty standard and I’m sure a sleep consultant) could help you find alternative strategies. It was the waking every 15 minutes thing that concerned me since I had the same problem, and multiple sleep consultants told me that getting them to sleep and getting them to stay asleep are two entirely different issues.

But apologies - I was just trying to be helpful as I know what it’s like to be in that situation.

Sorry I shouldn't snap, you're just trying to help.

Sorry I'm just tired.

I have to try the SC because I've tried everything else.

I have to.

I think people are worried that you are clearly, understandably desperate, you are pinning high hopes on the sleep training, and if there is an underlying medical issue, it won't work.

The problem with Mumsnetters is that you ask us one question and we always want to answer that question plus loads of other questions you didn't even ask

It's never too late to try something new. It would be great if he could get him to sleep surely. Just incase you couldn't be there for whatever reason.
At first my ds just cried and cried. But eventually he worked out that he wasnt going to get mum so dad was the next best thing. I hated listening to it so I used to take myself out for a run at bedtime. Now I just sit on the sofa.... haha. My ds still doesnt really cuddle his dad but he feels safe and secure enough to fall asleep with him.
Also my ds used to have white noise but that stopped working so my dh played him david attenborough reading one of his books. Did the trick on a few bad nights haha