Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Hated the way I looked on my wedding day

33 replies

UsernameABC · 20/08/2019 15:50

I hated the way I looked on my wedding day. I had a bad exzema breakout on my face which makeup couldn't cover. So I looked like a clown. I hate to look at my wedding pictures. Certainly can't display them in my house. Embarrassed to show them to people. I get jealous and depressed when I look at over people on their wedding day. Especially since some people say its the most important day of their lives. 3 years on it still bothers me. Any advice

OP posts:
Original poster
UsernameABC · 20/08/2019 15:52

I also asked family members if they could help with makeup. Sil came to help and she looked like she was about to start laughing

OP posts:
dirtyfries · 20/08/2019 15:58

Ohh OP I do feel for you. I get married in 11 days and currently fighting an acne breakout AND have a bald patch on my temple severely restricting my options with hair.

I'm sure it's much more noticable to you than it is/was to anyone else.
Can you focus on the happy memories of your day and link the photos to that?
I keep being told as long I look happy on the day no one will notice my skin...

HerRoyalNotness · 20/08/2019 15:59

Can you get someone to photoshop them to tone down the redness?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
BizzzzyBee · 20/08/2019 16:01

Me too. MIL insisted on making my dress and DH insisted I had to wear it. It was fucking hideous and didn’t fit. Just burn the photos and move on.

Original poster
UsernameABC · 20/08/2019 16:10

dirtyfries It must have been noticeable to others going by Sil's reaction. Thanks good advice at trying to focus on happy memories of the day.
Hope you have a nice wedding day

HerRoyalNotness think they would need to be a photo shop wizard to improve the photos

BizzzzyBee did mil do it on purpose?

OP posts:
smallrose · 20/08/2019 16:14

Something similar happened to me OP and I still feel sad about it Sad. The makeup artist even said that I should bring some of my hair forward to try and cover my face more. Not exactly what a bride wants to hear on her wedding day! I felt so ugly and wanted to hide away from the camera.
DH and I actually went back to the venue another day in our wedding clothes and our photographer took some photos that we love. The photographer said that a lot of people do this anyway as they can get more relaxed photos because there is less going on.

We have mixed these in with our wedding photos and no one else but us knows. It meant that we had some photos that we loved and could have on display. Maybe this is something to consider?
Although as 3 years has passed you may want to consider a vow renewal or something in the future instead. It depends on your thoughts on that though as I know some people are very anti vow renewal.

Poutintrout · 20/08/2019 16:17

I feel for you, I really do. I hated my dress and hair. Are there one or two decent photos that you could print in black and white? I always find that black and white photos kind of hide imperfections.

BTW, I'm sure that you don't look half as bad as you think. We are always so critical of ourselves,

Original poster
UsernameABC · 20/08/2019 16:18

smallrose I have thought about the idea of having the photos taken again in my wedding dress

OP posts:
spiderlight · 20/08/2019 16:22

Oh, bless you :( I know someone who is an absolute genius with photo editing. She might be able to help - I'll ask her. Do you have the photos in digital form?

sugarplumfairy28 · 20/08/2019 16:25

OP totally feeling your pain. I hate thinking about our wedding day, my dress, my hair. My dress didn't fit right, and you can see my bra in most pictures, it was a halter neck and had to be tied up so tight it was ripping into my neck. My hairdresser got me mixed up with someone else, and my hair was so slicked back and tight I look almost bald in pictures.

My wedding day, was an absolute disaster! My maid of honor had a last minute emergency (her husband had a serious bike accident, so while not her fault it just added to day) so I had to try and get dressed alone, thank goodness my aunt turned up and helped me, as not one member of my family had the slightest interest in helping, in fact were yelling at me in the bathroom as they had to get ready. When I got out the car a gust of wind caught my train and dragged it underneath the car, so there was a thick black stain all the way down. The venue was disgusting, the food was horrible - both of which we were railroaded into by in laws, I was led to believe there were people to help with changing from day mode to evening, but there wasn't and there was me, picking up and moving tables at 19:00, they refused to put the aircon on or open windows so most of our guests were in the car park. The main meal was messed up, well was never going to be provided evidently so I! had to cook for 50 people the day before and use travel stoves to warm it up.

DH and I are planning on hosting a black tie party for an anniversary and have a proper evening to celebrate our marriage and try and wash the horrible taste of our wedding day away.

RedForShort · 20/08/2019 16:29

Get some shots of the two of you together. Don't need to be professional - nice natural ones that you'd be happy to post on Instagram.

You know the sort, where you're both posed and there's many filters applied, and there was 2654 shots taken to get the right one.

In all seriousness you can change what happened in your wedding day. But you can get some lovely pictures now of the two of you. (Black and white often great). Go somewhere nice and bring a friend or relative who at least knows the rule of the third, and get snapping.

Then use filters and cropping!!!

ElizaDee · 20/08/2019 16:33

Just have a second wedding.

pelirocco123 · 20/08/2019 16:36

It isn't ( wasn't ) the most important day in your life . Everyday day going forward is more important then the last one

ClemDanFango · 20/08/2019 16:37

I feel the same, my make up was awful, really over done and foundation much paler than my skin tone, horrible pink lipstick and just not what I wanted. My lovely Dbro and SIL paid for a make up artist to come to my home and I felt so ungrateful that I didn’t say a word, I just smiled and thanked her whilst inwardly crying.
Everyone said I looked lovely but I know I didn’t and can’t bare to look at the photos almost a year later. Sad

crazylady7 · 20/08/2019 16:37

I do photoshop for a living and have 100s of wedding 'disaster' photos to edit each month, so trust me you are definitely not alone, and you definitely can edit them if you really are upset with them.
But anyway, 3 years is still very fresh, in a few more years time you'll look back at them pictures with fond memories, and most likely laugh at how awful the timing of your break out was. Besides, that was a big part of your big day right?! Yes it was unfortunate at the time, but you still married your husband and he still loves you even though you had eczema on your face. Dont stress about things you cant change OP, life happens, but we have to look at the positives otherwise i think we'd all go crazy Wink

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 20/08/2019 16:40

BizzzzyBee

Shock That’s awful. I think in that instance my mum would have kicked off on my behalf. I would also hope that my DH would control his mother and put her in her place. Flowers for you!

Glasscrab · 20/08/2019 16:42

Especially since some people say its the most important day of their lives.

In my experience, only people with very little going on in their lives think that.

And the only person I know who has a wedding photo on the wall in her house also has giant poster-sized baby photos of her late thirtysomething children all over the living room walls. All trussed up in baby sailor suits and hats, or in one case, nude on a sheepskin rug.

There's absolutely no need to look at the photos, or to display them, if its contributing to your unhappiness about it, OP.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 20/08/2019 16:44

Op, not the same at all but I had been on a strict skin regime leading up to my wedding. It had been working perfectly for weeks and then the day before I got several monster spots on my chin and one awful one in the middle of my cheek. I wanted to cry. Luckily, my hairdresser left a piece of my hair that hid the one on my cheek but there was nothing to hide the ones on my chin other than makeup (makeup artist did a great job but couldn’t make them flat obviously). Luckily, our photographers were amazing and edited the imperfections out. No one but I would know that they were even there.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 20/08/2019 16:46

Glasscrab

I have my wedding photos up on my wall. Hmm And giant canvases of my DD at various ages.

LaDrem · 20/08/2019 17:06

I do completely sympathise with you. I think we put so much emphasis on our wedding days that when something goes wrong we can start to blow it out of proportion. I sincerely doubt you looked like a clown and I doubt that your photos look anywhere near as bad as you feel.

I had a big family fall out two days before my wedding and some important people refused to come.
I look at my photos with sadness but I kick myself up the backside and tell myself it was ONE day! It was a day to legalise our relationship and celebrate. It was never going to be perfect and life doesn't work that way.

That's what I tell myself to make me feel better anyway!!

mumguiltrearingitshead · 20/08/2019 17:19

It shouldn't be too hard to photoshop out actually. I'd do that so you can have some nice pictures.

mumguiltrearingitshead · 20/08/2019 17:19

@Glasscrab seriously? Most people I know display wedding and children photographs.

ScarletPower · 20/08/2019 17:53

I hate my wedding photos too. I refuse to have any on display at home and can't bring myself to look at the one my mum insists on having up on the wall. On my wedding anniversary every single year he insists on putting the bloody photo up on Facebook with a loving wedding anniversary message on it and tags me in it (I quietly untag myself later and he never even notices).

I don't like my hair which was a wierd gingery colour, and I don't like the fact I'm wearing glasses in it. It was taken in 2000 so feels and looks very dated.

I did love my wedding dress though.

spiderlight · 20/08/2019 18:45

@UsernameABC I've PMed you details of someone who can help.

Original poster
UsernameABC · 20/08/2019 19:26

sugarplumfairy28 I'm so sorry, that's awful and most of your family not helping when it's your day. Cooking for that many beforehand must have been very stressful. My dress also didn't fit well, well more it didn't really suit my figure. Hope your anniversary party goes well

RedForShort is there filters I can use after taking a photo to improve the look of them?

ClemDanFango I know how you feel, my photos are on my computer and I can't bare to look at them or print any off

crazylady7 thanks good advice

LaDrem thanks also good advice

ScarletPower does your mum know you don't like the pictures and still puts them on Facebook every year?

spiderlight

Thanks for all the kind replies and good advice. Feeling better about it. I'll try to brave opening the photos and try making them black and white to see if that improves them.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread