Should I ignore this persons retirement?

[Aqueo517]

I’ve spent 25 years working with a very difficult colleague-they’re narcissistic, argumentative, spiteful, sexist,bullying. Generally a nasty piece of work. I went Teflon many years ago and managed to maintain a good working relationship whilst secretly despising the bastard.

He’s now off sick and will take early retirement starting next month. I’ll never have to see him again.

Do I send him a ‘fuck you, I’ve hated you for 25 years and finally I’m free from you’ message by ignoring the retirement or do i continue to play along with the charade and send card/vouchers?

(There’s no option of a middle ground here eg.simply signing a joint card)

Well done for going the distance on this - can you explain how to go Teflon? I need some tips!

Be the bigger person, wish him well and enjoy not having to deal with him anymore.

Everyone's sending their own individual card/vouchers? How many people is that - will he even notice you haven't sent one?

or get the most boring mundane 'happy retirement' card and simply sign it 'To X Happy Retirement From X'

I wouldn't send any vouchers though.

A sexist bully? No contribution would come from me.

Do nothing. Don't send a "good riddance you tosser" message but equally don't send a card/gift or contribute to communal cards/gifts. Don't go to a leaving meal/party. If you have to (forced by circumstance), just shake his hand and say "good luck for your retirement" and walk away.

Welcome on the Teflon

I’m not sure how I’ve done it really, the love of the job has seen me through. He used to really upset me,I’ve cried many tears over the years but I hardened to it and learned how to manipulate him in a way.

We’ve a small department, no one else will acknowledge the retirement, he’s burned those bridges.

And a racist.

No, don’t do anything for him. For all those other colleagues who have suffered because of him, and his poor family who’lll now have more of him.
Buy yourself a bottle and toast his departure.

Silence can be very loud sometimes. Let your silence do the talking!

I wouldn't be doing a single thing. No card. No gift. No signature on some fucking card. I would move forward as though he never existed.

I worked with someone exactly like him for a year. It was a lovely job but every day was a battle with him. We had very weak management who didn’t manage him, so I just moved on. I feel angry even now about how much of my time he took up.

Just ignore it. My manager left after ten years of making my job miserable...all he got was a “bye” from behind my partition.

Don’t bother. You’re not going to see him again. Don’t waste your time or money.

"Dear Ex-Colleague, wishing you all the best for your retirement, I hope you enjoy it as much as I will"

'Hope you have the retirement you deserve'

I’m a big believer in doing the right thing, keeping your side of the street clean, treating people as you’d want to be treated and all that. But in this situation, why reward his bad behaviour? He’s happy to upset people, and the result of that is that people will be cheering when he’s gone.

When my horrible bully of a boss sacked me, she resigned very shortly afterwards, having alienated almost the entire office over the previous months. I had great fun composing many horrible "sorry you are leaving" cards in my head but decided not to do anything. I was vindicated when I found out that a tiny handful of people had attended her leaving do, but everyone turned up for mine. A complete lack of any acknowledgement of your colleague is dignified but speaks volumes.

• no one else will acknowledge the retirement, he’s burned those bridges.& If no one else is acknowledging it then why should you? I expect they all feel the way you do.

bold fail, sorry.

Don’t do anything

He’s not worth your headspace

no one else will acknowledge the retirement Then definitely don't!

Me, I would go just to be sure they really are retiring. Maybe tell embarrassing story in good-bye speech.

I would completely ignore

Doing nothing is both the dignified way, and says the most. Win-win.

I’ll do nothing. As much as I’d like to maintain my integrity,rise above his shit and do the decent thing one last time, I’d also like him to know what I’ve really thought of him for all these years. Radio silence will speak volumes I think. Then he can add me to his long list of people who have wronged him for absolutely no reason 🙄