Should I ignore this persons retirement?

[Aqueo517]

I’ve spent 25 years working with a very difficult colleague-they’re narcissistic, argumentative, spiteful, sexist,bullying. Generally a nasty piece of work. I went Teflon many years ago and managed to maintain a good working relationship whilst secretly despising the bastard.

He’s now off sick and will take early retirement starting next month. I’ll never have to see him again.

Do I send him a ‘fuck you, I’ve hated you for 25 years and finally I’m free from you’ message by ignoring the retirement or do i continue to play along with the charade and send card/vouchers?

(There’s no option of a middle ground here eg.simply signing a joint card)

Another way of looking at it OP is that if you're the only one who does send a card etc. and he's aware of how you feel about him, he might twist that into thinking you're making a passive aggressive gesture.

Believe me, I know people who would do this. Ignore him completely and well done for not letting him drive you mad. I don't think I'd have had the strength to do what you've done.

Reminds me of a woman I worked with for years in a small office who used to treat me like the office junior I was in my 30s . Anyway she was in her mid to late 60s but wouldn't retire . She hated anyone covering her job while she was on holiday especially me even though I did a good job . She was racist, homophobic and she bitched about working parents ie me . She also either had a really bad memory or was just a nasty cow as would have conversations then deny having them . Anyway she discussed retiring but I'd had enough of her and the job so started looking and eventually handed my notice in . She was quite annoyed that because I was leaving a few weeks before her retirement she was asked to stay on .
I admire your restraint of 25 years with someone who is horrible. I'd just throw a party when he's gone .

What the fuck does Teflon mean (outside of frying pans, obvs)?

I think you should just do nothing.

@iklboo I’ve actually signed a retirement card with that 😂

Teflon means the OP wasn't letting anything he said or did bother her.

I would do nothing at all. Who cares what he thinks. I believe in ignoring shitty people and leaving them in the past.

DS had a manager that was a bully and the staff all disliked him. When the manager left they had a leaving do. They all forgot to invite the departing manager though.

I'd ignore it, though a "hope you enjoy your retirement as much as I'm going too" would be very tempting & I might give in to that if he were really that bad. No way in hell would I put my hand in my pocket for anymore though. He doesn't deserve it 🤷‍♀️

Urgh, grammar/autocorrect fail 🙄

Teflon = non stick . Not letting someone's actions or words stick / bother you.

If half of the rest of the office hate him too I would be very tempted to have a 'impromptu ' staff night out on the same night.

Do nothing, send no card, have no contact with them.

Unless you meet his wife, where you could express either sympathy or ask if he is as unpleasant at home. Assuming that there is one.

Just don't sign the card. He probably hates you as much as you dislike him. Let it all go.

When a bullying colleague left our dept recently myself and one of the admin team ceremonially took a coat she had left behind to the bins outside and as we threw her coat in the bin we both said good riddance. No card came from us!

ForalltheSaints

He wants to divorce his wife but is waiting for a very wealthy relative of hers to pass away first so that he can have is share of the inheritance.

That’s pretty much a resounding ignore. Thanks everyone.

*his share

If his wife has any sense she is probably waiting for him to drop dead so she can collect his life insurance will have made sure that the relative has tied up the inheritance with a lot of strings and is inaccessible to him.

I hope so!

No need to even acknowledge it. If this individual is a vile nasty piece of work then all you need to do is breathe a sigh of relief that you never need set eyes on them again. Absolutely no need to purchase a card or gift.

If you felt you had to acknowledge it, a simple “the department won’t be the same when you’re not here” is at least true.

Grow up instead of investing so much anger over his bloody retirement card.

Sunflowers211 there’s always one isn’t there 😆

I ignored a retirement card a couple of years ago. Horrible slimy chauvinist git of a man.

No way should you "be the bigger person" in this scenario. I would not sign a card or contribute to a collection of someone that awful. Just ignore and be glad he's gone.

If he has said about divorcing his wife to several people in the office, then you could of course let her know.