So big I barely recognised myself

[Unrecogniseabletomyself]

I saw myself in a mirror today and barely recognised myself. Genuinely didn't look like me. I am so big, my shape is lost.

I keep getting bigger. I am aware in talking in some sorry of passive way about this, yet it's entirely within my control to change it. I seem completely unable to stop overeating. I really do know that sounds feeble and it's not true. Yet I still can't seem to do anything about it.

Have you been at this point and what changed things for you? It affects my health, my confidence, my day to day life. I have young children and I hate being unhealthy.

I have had a stressful few years but I am doing much better, have dealt with that, yet I keep getting bigger. I don't know what answer I'm looking for. I'm hoping there is some way too approach this that will make a difference.

I thought about slimming clubs but can't find any on nights in free too attend. I have wasted money on gym membership.

I also would suggest intermittent fasting and lowering your intake of refined carbs, its the only thing that works for me. I was fast on my way to diabetes and this reversed it.

Watch the BBC Horizon episode called Eat, Fast and Live Longer as it explains it really well, should be a link for it on google.

I'll check it out thanks.

It’s not (just) about willpower OP, don’t beat yourself up for being “weak”. The people who successfully rely on “willpower” to change or maintain habits tend to be those who are good at sticking to rules that they set for themselves, so find establishing healthy habits quite easy.

Have a read of Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin. I found it really useful to help work out what tactics / approaches I could put in place to help me lose weight and get fitter. Willpower doesn’t work for me, I have to find other motivations and incentives than just doing the right thing.

I've gained nearly 2st since I got married a year ago. I spent so long eating healthily I went on honeymoon and did the opposite: gorged myself silly and haven't really stopped since. It was definitely easier when I had a target. I've had to have a bit of a drastic turn around as my clothes are starting to not fit and I can't afford to buy new stuff. I've found 5:2 works for me as not eating is easier.

Check out Kim Beach. It’s an app / diet that is based on low carb, high protein and exercise. It really worked for me.

Very well done Cook - amazing weight loss in a relatively short space of time.

Right well today is day 1. For the next 16 weeks roughly to xmas I've decided is 'weight loss ' phase. After that hopefully its 'weight maintenance ' phase forever More. I've been guilty of losing weight for this event or that and then no plan after that so it all goes to pot. I had high cholesterol last time tested. Also gestational diabetes. So its majorly for health reasons too.
All that said I am dodging the scales today and just aiming for sticking to what I plan to eat and when. Eventually I hope to maybe build in a bit of intermittent fasting and also be mindful of carbs but for now it's the low hanging fruit first. I am 40 and weigh about 11st 4 with a goal weight of 9st 4. I'm not tall at around 5 ft 3. I've been lighter than that but it's well into a normal BMI and a realistic target.
My little one had a bad night which are rare enough now normally I would be reaching for the scones and justifying a day of crap eating to myself but not today.

I lost lots by low carbing and running. Download the Couch to 5K plan and give day one a shot. The initial running sections are very short, and it's best if you run as slowly as possible. You'll amaze yourself by how quickly you progress.

There's one bit of good news about over eating, and that is that when you stop doing it, you'll lose weight.

I lost 1.7 stone this year not by starving myself or counting every calorie, but by eating ordinary healthyish food and not stuffing myself with crap between meals.

You don't need to eat celery or put one spoonful of skimmed milk in your tea. You can eat proper food, even some treats, but without the mountains of shite.

I'm so used to it now that a curly wurly feels like a roman orgy of indulgence (117 calories FYI)

And if you can, lots of walking.

It's a mind reset Morris. the no s diet way of eating really, no snacks no sweets no seconds apart from occasionally on s days. Restrictive dieting for me isn't sustainable and I know that now. If i cant do it on a standard busy week then I wont start at all. Well done on your loss as well

I need to lose about 4 done to be in a healthy range. Can't believe I've got this far. It's so helpful to read that others have done it with quite a lot to lose. I don't know anyone this big in real life. I'm really feeling it so have been trying hard to think kinder thoughts today. Some posters have done so well.

I’m just starting some kind of weight loss journey - I’m not sure what my goal weight is, as long as it’s less than what I weigh now.
Apologies if it’s already been said, but one thing I did before l “started” was to log what I was actually eating on MFP - so no reductions, no avoiding anything, what i actually ate for a week. Well, it was quite eye opening, and not in a good way. However it’s given me a pathway to what I need to be doing to improve, and some steps are quite little as some people have said earlier. So generally, my actual meals were fine, but I snack a lot and i was really underestimating the amount of calories coming from snacks. So cutting down, changing them or giving them up completely some days has been one thing I could do straight away. I don’t know, I think lots of different people will do lots of different things and you have to find the best thing for you.

Today is day 1 for me too - due to medication (partly), a couple of medical conditions (partly) and eating too much chocolate, crisps and cake (mainly) my weight has just gone up and up, and not even hitting a size 20 has been enough to make me do something about it.

But, my blood pressure is stupidly high, and if I don't get it down, my (horrible) GP is going to want to stop my HRT, which has given me my life back (it's miraculous stuff ). So, it's lose weight, get blood pressure under control (ideally without medication), stay on HRT, carry on seeing life in colour.

So, day one of a clean eating veggie 1200 cals per day, meal plan, plus 20k on the exercise bike (which I need to lose 6kg to even be under it's max weight limit ).

I love that post by pear you speak so much sense.

I second the book by Gillian Riley it's not about picking a diet that might or might not work it's about resetting your relationship with food so that you no longer link it with your emotional responses. It worked for me for a long time and I lost a lot of weight. most importantly I was completely in control of what I was eating. but after a traumatic birth and severe depression unfortunately I just started comfort eating again. I'm working up the courage to reread the book to remind myself how to get onto it again. But I know if I do that I'll have to think of some other way to deal with my emotions rather than eating them!

Brilliant post @Pearpair4 very helpful.

Pear - I think we are all nominating you to be our online coach 😁 I’m sure we could look very different this time next year!

I've put 2 stone on since my hysterectomy 4 years ago. I saw photos of me at my 50 birthday a few weeks ago and was horrified.

I knew then I had to do something, so I've been doing the Fast 800 diet and I've lost 10lb in three weeks.

I think you have to reach the point where you say no more and then you'll be ready to diet.

Read up on Dr Moseley and what he says about fasting and it will make sense to you.

Hi OP

I am in exactly this position - I have never been as big as I am now and I am miserable, I don't feel like me. I feel like it is taking over my life but at the same time I can't seem to get the motivation to sort it out. I feel like I have tried so many approaches but I just can't seem to get a handle on it, it feels out of my control although I know it's not. I'd have to lose about 5 stone to get to where I would like to be, it feels like such a huge amount, I just don't know how to get my head in the right place and get out of this rut.

xx

Gemi i second that nomination! I am at the point you describe where I am saying no more.
No more risking my health and pushing up my disease risk factors for stroke heart disease and diabetes.
No more having all the fun taken out of clothes shopping dressing up for events, clothes for me now are just a damage limitation exercise in what doesnt look too crap.
No more feeling bloated and awkward especially in warmer weather.
No more reduced motivation for self care and having my mood impacted because I feel down about it. Not wanting to be in pictures much or swim with my girls.
I could list More above and have done so before as its recommended in the book to list what overeating and eating rubbish food costs you.
I heard one lady describe getting to a healthy weight as living life in colour after feeling it was black and white for a long time..
Anyway I've decided bugger the scales for now. I have put a note thing on the front of my phone to help with the times and plans approach. After I eat I plan on it what I will eat for the next meal and when. And that's it. No eating till then (max 4 hours away) any cravings before then are my addictive eating tendencies and I am learning to identify them and stare them down !!
I really do recommend that book to all.

I need to lose about 4 stone to be in a healthy range
This was me 8 years ago OP. This is very achievable (in fact I've done it twice, lol).
What helps me to stay motivated is exercise. I love feeling fit, being able to walk very quickly, run if I need to, not be out of breath.
I didn't go to slimming clubs either, but I did join a couple of long running threads (not on mumsnet) where we did weekly weigh ins and posted what we were eating, etc. That gives the support that you get from a club, free of charge 😊

I have also considered slimming groups because I struggle to get motivated and thought a group might help but there isn't one that I'm able to attend regularly. Feel free to PM me OP if you'd like to chat, maybe we can try and motivate each other?

Chrissmasjammies I agree with everything you've said, I feel like I'm not living anymore, just existing, so why can't I do this?! Will look up the book mentioned.

xx

xx

Some great posts on this thread.

Owing to my terrible digestive problems ( I think I’m an undiagnosed coeliac)
I’ve completely cut out all gluten food, wheat, oats, barley, rye and malt for ever..no going back and no dairy at all. Not that I ate much of them before but did have an occasional treat

You’d think in two months I’d have lost shed loads of weight but I haven’t. It’s coming off very slowly. Maybe one or two pounds.

I have a two egg omelette for breakfast
A banana and three Belgian chocolate covered rice cakes for lipunch
And protein, veg, and carb for dinner
Two little oranges for snacks
Peppermint tea or occasional ginger ale for drinks and lots of water. No alcohol

I feel that it’s tackle my tum first, then any extra weight next
Not a lot to lose ..10 lbs to a stone ...but I’m surprised how little I’ve lost
Although if I did get weighed I bet the scales would say a fair bit as my legs have gone quite thin

Ah you’re very kind Joyful and everyone!

I have just spent A LOT of time thinking/reading about all this- I feel like I’m a competent grown woman, I’m determined to crack this weight loss / binging situ! Like Christmasjammies said - there’s a lot of mental preparation involved. It makes me so angry on here when someone talks about losing weight and someone replies “it’s simple: calories in / calories out, eat less move more”. Sure, if it was that simple no one would be overweight!

Since this thread started I have done my own reset: no binges, been food shopping not bought any junk, done 10,000 steps a day. Think I am ready to track again tomorrow, thank you!

Really impressed and motivated by some of the weight loss on here already and people’s great starts! How are you feeling OP?

Let me try and find the full quote I saw about forgiving yourself- I find that so helpful!

Forgive yourself: