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Original poster

If you knew when you where younger what you know now, would you have more or less kids or the same ?

55 replies

Lardlizard · 19/08/2019 18:58

And what other major life choice would you do differently or the same

I’d probably would have bought a larger house as a first purchase as houses went up in price to ridiculous levels

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 19/08/2019 19:00

I've got 2dc. Wouldn't change it.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 19/08/2019 19:03

Xmasbaby
Is there anything you would change like age you were or age gap

OP posts:
TigerCameForTea · 19/08/2019 19:05

There are lots of things I think I should have probably done differently but I guess they all led me to who and where I am now...
But, knowing what I know now, I don't think I would or should have had DD. I really don't think I am a 'natural' mother and am not very good at being one. I should have just grown old, with cats!

Belgravian · 19/08/2019 19:08

I wouldn’t have had two more children.

My other main choice would not to have got with my ex (not the father of my children).

letsdolunch321 · 19/08/2019 19:18

I have two dcs, girl & boy, four year age gap. Wouldn't change a thing

ems137 · 19/08/2019 19:20

I would've still had my 1st 2 kids but wouldn't have had my 2nd 2 with my now DH. I would've been stronger and got rid of him as soon as the red flags started appearing. I absolutely love all of my children but having them makes it harder for me to leave.

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 19/08/2019 19:20

Nope. O make good decisions. Wink

Mummacake · 19/08/2019 19:22

I'd have the kids earlier and with a better person. I'd also have find for he bigger house/better road when it was affordable 🙄

janj2301 · 19/08/2019 19:36

I would not have married the man I am still married to 47 years later, so no idea if I'd have had children

Xmasbaby11 · 19/08/2019 19:46

There's a 2 year age gap which has been tough going and expensive. I often wish I'd met Dh earlier - we were 30 and 41 when we met, and 35 and 46 when we became parents. But I'd been abroad moving around a lot up to that point and really didn't want to settle down. It is hard though as our parents are all old now, and dc only 5 and 7. We've never had help with DC from DP and now they are all around 80, getting infirm. Dh has found it tiring having kids older too. It would have been better to have kids earlier.

TalkingOrmer · 19/08/2019 19:48

Yes I’d have had kids earlier. I have 1 and would’ve liked more.

MerryDeath · 19/08/2019 19:50

i wouldn't have my children but only because of the poor choice i made with regard to their father Sad

bonzo77 · 19/08/2019 19:51

I’d have stuck at 2. 3 is very hard. But getting easier. And I really love all of them.

Happyspud · 19/08/2019 19:55

I choose the right person and have had all 4 kids I always wanted, close together in age so like a gang. But it’s very hard and although it has lovely moments and a liveliness that you just don’t get in smaller families, I do recognise if not look wistfully at how easy 2 kid (assuming no disabilities etc) families are in comparison. I don’t think I’d do it differently if I could go back but I’ve a touch of envy of 2 and 1 kid families and the freedom that size of family affords the parents.

Pileofcleantowels · 19/08/2019 20:00

I'd have bought a bigger house firsy off because we're going to outgrow this one and I CBA to move.

If I could be guaranteed the same DC I have I'd have had them at 30 and 32 instead of 25 and 28.

Also would have done a different university course, or maybe not gone at all, as all it brought me was debt!

AnnaFiveTowns · 19/08/2019 20:01

Looking at the state of the world - Trump, Brexit, the rise of right- wing extremism and most worryingly, climate change, which will inevitably lead to mass migration and wars - if I could have foreseen this then I would not have had any children at all.

woodhill · 19/08/2019 20:01

I would have loved another dc. DH had had a vasectomy and when I reached around 40 the urge was overwhelming.

Summerunderway · 19/08/2019 20:03

Don't regret my dc (double figures) but def regret choice of fathers ...

Hotbiscuits · 19/08/2019 20:04

Have started trying for, and had, first baby a year it or two sooner. To be fair though I wouldn’t have the fab job and deeper calm I have now had I done that (job was timing, calm is from having weathered an apocalyptic few years around 30)

0pheIiaBaIIs · 19/08/2019 20:04

Lots I would have done differently. But having more DC is definitely the main one. I wish I'd had three, but two would have been lovely as well. DD is 23 and has no family other than me and DH. I worry about what will happen when we're no longer around - she's lonely enough now (and was growing up). Having no blood family in the world is horrible.

BlueSkiesLies · 19/08/2019 20:12

Nope. I’m happy with my life decisions.

Veryveryverylate · 19/08/2019 20:13

Had kids before diabetes showed up. Done the midwifery course and taken that nhs grant. The nhs grant is no longer available for people living in England.

CupoTeap · 19/08/2019 20:18

Same no. but different dad!

AWhistlingWoman · 19/08/2019 20:18

Torn between wanting one more DC or having none at all for the reasons that Anna has stated. I'm worried I've brought them into a horrible world :(

Myriade · 19/08/2019 20:19

Yep lots of th8ngs I would have done BUT they are also the th8ngs that have made me, me iyswim.

I have to say, I’m not sure I would have had children at all (I have two) and I would have been much more aware of the feminist stance (aka realising how deeply engrained in the patriarcal expectations I was)