Page 4 | Anyone had a 'sliding doors' moment?

EvilHerbivore · 2019-08-15T07:49:11+00:00

Inspired by another thread - Anyone had one of those moments or decisions where you know it would affect the way the rest of your life would pan out? Other than the chose to go to university or to try for my DSs, I'm not sure if I've had a sort of 'defining' decision or if I've just bumbled along and dealt with how life has just turned out

SayOohLaLa · 16/08/2019 11:03

My husband did. He was training to be a priest but his mentor said he wouldn't support his studies as he thought my DH (very bright Working Class kid who left school at 16 with crap qualifications after poor start) should go to university first, then he's support him. At uni, he decided the priesthood wasn't for him. I met him in his first job after uni. 19 years and 2 kids later he ain't going back to that priesthood

LucylouLucylou · 16/08/2019 11:17

After finishing Camp America I was heading to another part of the country to do some travelling. I had been due to take a flight but at the last minute decided to do a road trip. I met DH on the road trip and we now have our DD.

FabulouslyFab · 16/08/2019 13:12

If I’d not said yes and given up my job to move to the other end of the country then I would’ve stayed in the civil service and would’ve been able to retire on a very good pension by now........ A bit of me thinks I should’ve listened to my Dad, but a pension couldn’t take t he place of my three amazing children 😁

Oliversmumsarmy · 17/08/2019 09:21

Whilst every moment might be a "sliding doors" moment I think there are only a few times when you have a gut feeling that you know the choice you make will impact your life in a huge way and take you down a different path.

If I could go back 15 years I would in a heart beat. My gut was telling me to do something which at the time was on paper reckless. I went with my head.

Chocrichtea · 17/08/2019 10:03

I'm having a sliding doors moment right now! My decision is do I change my career entirely! I'm debating weather to start a degree in a different career. I've been in my current career for 7 years and tbh not sure I could do it forever. This new career would help alot of people. But I know if I pick the new career my life will be entirely different. What a strange thought!

Clawdy · 17/08/2019 11:58

On holiday in Anglesey, I was seventeen. Mum and sister went into supermarket, I waited outside. Chatted up by good-looking Welsh boy, holiday romance started, and instead of opting to go to college in Exmouth, I decided to go to a college near home, so it was easier to see him. It was all over a year later. Never lived in Exmouth, never even been, and it would have changed my life. All because I didn't go into a supermarket!

Fruityb · 17/08/2019 12:00

After being messed about for the tenth time by a guy I was seeing I decided to email the bloke from Match I’d been in touch with a year before. I actually went to the flat I had just moved out of but still had keys for to use the Internet to do it (3G wasn’t in force yet).

We’ve just celebrated our second anniversary married, been together nine years and have a three year old son. If I hadn’t done that I have no idea where I would be now!

SimonJT · 17/08/2019 12:08

Chosing to move out at 17 was my biggie, I knew when I did it I wouldn’t see my family anymore. Looking back it was better to do it early rather than wait as the end result would have always been the same.

Having to leave someone when neither of us wanted it to end, but personal circumstances gave us little choice. We both have regular what if moments.

Tadpoletofrog · 17/08/2019 12:08

I randomly asked my parents if I could sit the entrance exam for a local, quite prestigious private school when I was 10. No one in my family had ever been to private school and my parents were not high earners so it was never even a consideration.

Why I asked I don’t know, but my parents (reluctantly, because it cost money to enter) agreed, I managed to ( with no tutoring) pass the exam, I was offered a full scholarship and had the most amazing education.

I feel very lucky to have experienced the school, made amazing friends that are still close to now, did a good degree and now am a high earner in a job I love.

The school that I would have gone to otherwise was a failing school with little or no progression to university back then. I can’t imagine what I would be doing now if I had gone there, I might well have done just as well, but I am not sure.

velocitygirl7 · 17/08/2019 12:09

A school friends brother got stuck in traffic and missed his booked ferry and narrowly escaped being part of the Zeebrugge ferry disaster. I always think of this decades on, whenever anyone talks about sliding door moments!

OnlyYellowRoses · 17/08/2019 12:16

If I hadn't of just taken the plunge and moved up to London after only 6 weeks in a relationship with EXDH I'd probably have died through a drugs overdose by now. I was an addict but met him online and let him 'save' me. We have 3 beautiful children and are still good friends even though we didn't work out relationship wise.

If I hadn't of decided to check the funny smell in my kitchen I'd never of caught my nasty Ex (different guy) torturing my cat. Kicked him out next day which was the best thing for me ever. I'd never realised what he was really like, I'd still be plodding along thinking we were happy completely oblivious to the amount of cheating/lies and abuse to my children he'd really been up to. Fucking sickening reality check there!!

I then had a mental breakdown and hung myself, in a coma for nearly a month, was nearly sectioned and had to learn to do everything again because of the brain damage from the hanging. After I left hospital I came home, sat on my bed and had a proper re-evaluate my life moment. I finally went back to work, got promoted to a level I never imagined I'd get to, got my diploma, started to rebuild friendships I'd neglected because of controlling ex, tried to be a better parent in general.

To be honest I've had a few horrendous down points in life but I truly believe (as cliche as it sounds) that they've made me massively stronger getting through them.

Katinski · 17/08/2019 12:54

I had my sliding doors moment when I was 18 - and I knew it at the time!
I'd had 'permission' from my ultra strict parents to go on a road trip with my boyfriend and our two friends, destination Italy, with the understanding that when I was 21 boyfriend and I would marry. We drove in two sports cars to Italy but rather than going through the tunnel under the Alps, we drove over the top, stopping the night in the old monastery up there.So early next morning, while the mountains were still shrouded in mist, I stood on what seemed to be the top of the world, while the mist cleared, revealing range upon range of mountains.
And that,precisely, was when I knew that the life my parents and boyfriend expected of me just wasn't going to happen. I wanted to explore life beyond them and nothing was going to stop me.
I had to wait until I was over 21 before I could leave the parental home, so I quietly worked, saved money - and learned to speak Italian.
I set my plan in action when I was 21/22, got an au pair job, promised to be back inn a year (yeah,right and took off....
Finally returned to the UK permanently 14 years later

Katinski · 17/08/2019 13:00

for you, onlyyellow roses, onwards and upwards, eh?All the best.

Chocrichtea · 17/08/2019 13:42

@onlyyellowroses that's amazing! True inspiration ❤

Happysummer2020 · 18/08/2019 01:10

@onlyyellowroses

*If I hadn't of decided to check the funny smell in my kitchen I'd never of caught my nasty Ex (different guy) torturing my cat. Kicked him out next day which was the best thing for me ever. I'd never realised what he was really like, I'd still be plodding along thinking we were happy completely oblivious to the amount of cheating/lies and abuse to my children he'd really been up to. Fucking sickening reality check there!!

I then had a mental breakdown and hung myself, in a coma for nearly a month, was nearly sectioned and had to learn to do everything again because of the brain damage from the hanging. After I left hospital I came home, sat on my bed and had a proper re-evaluate my life moment. I finally went back to work, got promoted to a level I never imagined I'd get to, got my diploma, started to rebuild friendships I'd neglected because of controlling ex, tried to be a better parent in general.*

You're pretty awesome. Well done.

OnlyYellowRoses · 18/08/2019 14:17

Thank you very much. No where near done with this life yet and I'm going to make the best of myself in as many ways that I can 😊

PuppyMonkey · 18/08/2019 14:27

These are interesting but I think the key point about ‘Sliding Doors’ is that it’s not always about you making a life-changing decision like which job to take, it’s about something apparently inconsequential happening that changes the entire course of your life. So in the original film, she misses the train / catches the train.

carsleyladiessociety · 18/08/2019 14:37

If I would have stayed in the shitty job I was in instead of telling the manager to stuff it up her arse (yes really) I wouldn't have met my now husband through a mutual acquaintance in my new job

If I hadn't have leapt the wall I wouldn't be disabled. I was pregnant but thought it would be a good idea to jump over a wall and take a short cut.
That jump lead to SPD which I still have 10 years later. I'm never going to fully regain my mobility and if anything it is just getting worse.

fromthefloorboardsup · 18/08/2019 14:46

I think about this a lot - that tiny decisions can end up changing our lives!

TheSheepofWallSt · 18/08/2019 14:53

Yeah I’ve had a few “pure” sliding doors moments... the one that stands out is the time my phone broke and never turned on again, just after a man I’m CERTAIN should have been a big part of my life “miss called” me to give me his number, as he was leaving my house after a PERFECT night of spontaneous passion.

The kicker was Id told him he mustn’t call me- that id call him when I was ready (just out of a relationship)

Never knew his last name, where he lived (beyond “near Clapton Pond”) or what architect firm he worked for, so never did track him down. Often wonder what life would have been like though.

OccidentalPurist · 18/08/2019 14:54

I think I had a sliding doors moment way back in 1994.

I was working as a waitress in a job I loved while I was at university and was mortified when I got the sack after a disagreement with a regular customer. I very soon reluctantly got another job, but as a stop gap while I looked for a better one.

On my second day however, a good looking work colleague appeared and within a month I'd left my BF of two years for him and we've now been married 17 years and have two teenage DCs.

If I hadn't been forced to take that job I don't think our paths would ever have crossed, and sometimes I think back to the minor incident that caused me to lose the original job and I do wonder if some stars were aligning for us somewhere.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 18/08/2019 15:13

I had a sliding door moment that was thrust upon me.

I was in a miserable miserable job and miserable relationship. I was so desperately unhappy and could not see any way out. A friend of mine on my behalf accepted a job for me in a completely different country. Lord I was furious with her. But decided to just go for 3 months and see what happend.

I met DH. I was in a taxi and saw him walking donw the road and thought 'I am going to marry him'. a few weeks later I met him at a cocktail party. The next day we met up for lunch and that evening I moved into his house. The job ended up being the best I have ever had and I was in it for 4 years. It then led to other things- some good, some not so good, but the constand has been DH.

If I had not been 'forced' to go, I would have never had this happen.

DH's parallel life during this-he had been married, discovered his wife was having a series of affairs. Took a brief consultancy abroad as a way for them both to have some space. The day i saw him walking down the street was the day he had decided to get the divorce. He then flew home, put the wheels in motion and the day he returned to the country we were in was the day he met me.

0pheIiaBaIIs · 18/08/2019 16:10

My mother left our home town when I was 17. She asked if I wanted to come with her or stay. Right up until the last minute I planned to stay - I even put the deposit on a room in a house share. Two days before she left I decided I'd go with her.

That decision led to me meeting my first husband, which in turn via a long and very winding road led me to (post divorce) the city I now live in, DD and DH. If I had stayed I would never have ended up where I am. I would also have had a career in the field I was making tentative but very successful for a 17yo steps into (leaving put the kybosh on that), as opposed to not having a career at all. On the one hand, I have no regrets because I have DH and DD. On the other, if I hadn't moved I wouldn't have married disastrously at 19 and I'd have had a very different, less chaotic life.