Anyone had a 'sliding doors' moment?

[EvilHerbivore]

Inspired by another thread - Anyone had one of those moments or decisions where you know it would affect the way the rest of your life would pan out?
Other than the chose to go to university or to try for my DSs, I'm not sure if I've had a sort of 'defining' decision or if I've just bumbled along and dealt with how life has just turned out

If I hadn't had such low self esteem I would have applied for (and got) a job at the place I was volunteering at. I ended up working in retail, met my future husband and about four years later we got together.

I wanted to train as a nurse in the 80s. Ex said it was nursing or him. Stupidly chose him. Ten more miserable abusive years.

Still, if I'd chosen nursing I'd never have met DH or had DS.

@Hoolajerry wow that is amazing!

Got invited to a house party by another nurse on another ward. I debated wether to go as I didn't know anyone who was going ( apart from this one nurse). Decided to go at the last minute and met my DH at the party. That was 23 years ago and I never went out with those people again.

When I was an attractive, young and carefree twenty - something, I had my pick of men who professed their love to me. I chose the one with an astounding amount of baggage who is a lot older than me. 11 years later, we're still together but I often wonder what would have happened if I'd fallen for someone 'easier' xx

Not always for the best unfortunately.

I had a mc at 18 which although unplanned I suspect I'd have chosen to keep the pregnancy.

If I had become a single mother at that point it's very unlikely I'd have met my now exh at a party a few years later as I'd more likely have been home with a toddler, and even if I had gone (and he has actually said so) my exh would not have been interested in a single mum.

I don't regret having dd of course, but I do regret my marriage and divorce and all the pain that's caused not only me but dd too.

Certain jobs I regret taking too and I learned the hard way to trust my gut on such decisions and "if it seems too good to be true it probably is"

Also choosing to go into uni to deliver an assignment in the morning to get it out the way rather than the afternoon and possibly cutting it fine put me in the wrong place at the wrong time for the car accident where some numpty on their phone hit me and which has left me disabled and definitely contributed to my very poor mh.

But these things are not generally predictable so kinda pointless dwelling on them. Hard not to sometimes though.

I have had 2 moments.

The first I was asked a question and knew that if I answered yes my life would go one way and if I answered no my life would go another.

I answered no and don't regret my decision at all. My life changed completely for the better. I think I would be dead now if I had answered yes.

The other was about 15 years ago and like another poster I can relive those moments in my head as clear as if they had just happened I should have gone one way and I didn't. Always regret my decision to this day.

I logged back into my OLD profile after weeks of inactivity just to delete it only to find a message from now DH. If I hadn't bothered to log in I would never have seen it and if I'd logged in any later the message would have disappeared.

The most memorable one - it was my birthday and my xH made a booking at the local restaurant. He stopped at a bank to withdraw some cash while I waited in our car. I wanted to change the CD and reached for the glove compartment. Suddenly I saw Him running back to the car screaming Stop! I opened it anyway and found some condoms.

I ran back home, grabbed my bag and caught a train to my friend’s house, who lived in London. Cried for two days, until one evening my friend forced me to join her and her friends for a meal out. So I went with them to the local pub, met DH, became a SAHAM, traveled the world and lived in amazing places and now live in London with my kids and DH. Sometimes I think what would happen if I did not try to change that CD?

Worked a dead end pub job from 17 to 19 - and after years of verbal abuse and harassment from the owner, I impulsively left the pub with a customer I'd never met before.

3 weeks later we were on a beach in Indonesia in love, and 5 weeks after that he was gone - 7 months later I returned to the UK and went to Uni. The whole experience completely changed my outlook on life.

Thankful for him and that weird two months now.

Went to sign up for trials for a sports club st uni freshers fair sports fair and the girl was so fucking rude to me I flounced off, and signed up to a different totally random sport I’d never played before. Turned out I was rather good at it and have competed internationally and almost all my friends are from the sport as is my DP. I don’t play it any more, but everything good in my life came from that.

Just turned 19 and heavily pregnant in a homeless unit with an abusive partner. I woke up on the morning of new years Eve and knew I needed to get out before another year rolled in.

I jumped out of bed,walked to the phone box and called my mum. By the stoke of midnight I was safe, warm and fed in my own bed. I never saw the partner again.

Sometimes I sit and worry how things would have turned out if I'd not made that call.

One day I was walking down a country lane with my neighbour's little boy, we stopped because I had something in my shoe, We walked towards the crossing just as a car being chased by the police came past us at about 100mph. I truly believe that had we not stopped, we'd have both been hit and died.

Needed BBB at A level to study law at uni. Was predicted BBC so didnt apply for law.

Got ABB. Sometimes think if I had applied I would have a different career/life.

Met guy dated for 2 weeks, had one bad date and left it. Seriously considered blocking him on WhatsApp but something told me not to.

He messaged me 4 days later apologising for the bad date and 5 years later we are married with 1 DD. I genuinely think had I blocked him, I would still be single and never had kids.

Yes

If I hadn’t gone home from uni depressed and logged onto an old chat room I wouldn’t have got talking to a very old friend

So wouldn’t have gone to visit her

And met her brother

Who I married.

Logging on to a jobs website when DS was 6 months old a spotting a maternity cover role for my dream career. The application deadline was a few hours later. I frantically applied that afternoon while he wriggled around on the floor. 8 years later I am still there, still loving it, have had several promotions but get to work around his school days /bedtimes so he gets as much time with me as if I was a sahm. I feel so ridiculously lucky. But I could have easily not looked that day, or decided there wasn't enough time to send in an application

Yep, turned down a boy I really fancied because I felt too bad for my bf at the time. Got pregnant with my son, bf left me. I met my husband soon after. If I'd said yes to the one I really liked I'd not have had my son or the three that followed.

Recently the one I turned down had an horrific accident in a martial arts class and will never walk again.

I had a stupid dalliance with a flat mate (who was in another relationship). I ended up pregnant and terminated without telling him. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met my now DH and I wouldn’t live in the country I now live in.

In 1996 I got home from a morning shift at work to find myself locked out (still lived with parents I was only 18). Had a ten minute walk down the road to a friend of my mums who she occasionally went and had a cuppa with, she wasn't there but I ended up staying and having a chat.
Went home and 2 hours later realised I'd left my bag in her living room so went back down and only her 17 year old son was home - we've been together since and got married 3 years ago.
If I had remembered my key and bag I would never have walked down there.

If my (asshole) boyfriend had come to the bar like he was supposed to, I wouldn't have met my husband

I think every decision we make affects the whole of the rest of our lives, in ways that we mostly never see or realise. This is because we can never know what would have happened if we had made a different decision.

Suppose I decide today to go shopping at Tesco and I go out and come back without incident? How can I know what might have happened if I had gone to Sainsbury's instead? I might have encountered a drunk driver, who crashed into me and left me dead or with life changing injury. I might have met someone there who became a big part of my life. I might have slipped on the wet floor or tripped over an obstacle..... etc.

Or maybe, one of the items I have bought in Tesco turns out to be contaminated with E-coli, I eat it and it kills me - or it doesn't kill me but I get very ill and go to hospital, where I meet someone who becomes a big part of my life.... etc

Every single thing that we do influences the rest of our lives in some way.

Had the choice of 2 temp jobs. Chose the one which paid less because they offered first and I liked the person who interviewed me. That job turned into a career and my colleagues became and are still some of my dearest friends 15 years (and many other jobs) later.

I deferred my uni placement and had the choice of two jobs. I took the lower paid but no commute. I sometimes muse what might have been. I wasn't hugely happy there and my confidence was truly knocked. After a few years I left to a job I loved, which I was great at and I was very happy.

Next, If I hadn't pitched my tent next to now DH's that may not have happened. We've been together 14 years, and did run a successful business together which we built up and had to move and then build up again.

We accepted an offer on it and the business sale has now gone through. The future looms! No idea what to do next though

Agree with 80sMum. Every single thing we do is a potential sliding doors moment.