Back to work after baby-am I missing something

[DannyWallace]

Apologies if this is really long, but I'm just wondering if anyone can think of any other options for me.

Background-we are a forces family (my husband is in). The nature of his work means he goes away for a few months at a time every few years. We get a few months notice for this. He can also have to go away for a few days/a week at a time. We usually get very little notice for this (usually a few days notice, but sometimes he is told one afternoon that he would be going away the next morning), also, his hours are usually the same, but can change-often at very short notice. We are a few hours away from any family (although they are very supportive). We have friends who could help us in an emergency, but no one who we could rely on for childcare. We had our DD 6 months ago.

I gave up my big career a few years ago due to stress. When we moved here I got 2 jobs- 1 office job (3 full days) and 1 in a supermarket (1 full day and 1 weekend afternoon). I fell pregnant while waiting for background checks etc, so have not been entitled to any maternity pay, so I just receive maternity allowance.

I'm trying to figure out going back to work. I don't feel a pull to either job TBH, but I'm trying to figure out my options. I definitely don't want to go back to full time work.

A-I stay at home and DH works. He's a low rank, and we'd have to cut back, but we'd just about manage.

B-I keep the office job. It doesn't matter what my husband works as I'd always work during the day. The only issue is nursery would pretty much wipe my salary. And I hate the thought of DD in nursery if I'm honest. I feel like if it was my career I would do it, but as it's "just a job" it breaks my heart. And financially we'd be not far off option A anyway.

C- I keep the supermarket job. Only one day in nursery but if DH is away (which is relatively often) we'd have no childcare over the weekend so I wouldn't be able to go to work. I could possibly change my hours week by week, but DHs hours can change with less than 24 hours notice, so I'm worried they wouldn't keep me on.

We live relatively rurally, so there's not loads of jobs out there.

Can anyone think of any other options for me? And if I go for option A I take it I wouldn't be entitled to anything?

Can anyone think of any work from home options I could do around DHs work (NOT MLM).

Thank you

If I were you I'd try Option B with the knowledge that if it didn't work for me, I could fall back on Option A.

I wouldn't even consider Option C.

Can you look at local childminders and nurseries - visits may ease any anxiety you have. They can generally be great for babies and children. Lots of interaction, messy play, trips, etc.

Working from home could be something you then look into if you decide to SAHM. But working with a baby around would be tough so you'd probably be best self employed so able to work more when dh is home.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz thank you. I've actually thought about that. There's a nursery close by that's apparently excellent and they've invited me for a look around etc.

I have heard from a few people that this nursery is fantastic and their children thrive there. It should relax me...

I also think that changing the way you see the cost of nursery vs. Income would help too. It may leave very little left over, but secures your place in work. MN is awash with people who have stopped working for a number of years then really struggled to find another job.

If the job is 3 days a week, then, on balance, it's got to be worth it. Unless you see yourself SAHMing til the children are adults.

I would say B with A as a fallback too - don't forget that even though you won't make much because of childcare costs, you're still benefitting from pension contributions down the line!

Have you factored in exploring salary sacrifice for childcare payment?

Option A.

Zero hour contract somewhere?
You'd have more flexibility with when and how often you work and the flexibility to cancel at short notice- the only downside is if there is no work you'd have no dosh but if you plan in advance from what you've said you should be ok

Thank you all 

@RandomMess I've never heard of that before, what is it?

@LJS8987 I'm actually looking in to that as we speak. And while I can't/won't go back to my old career, it was NHS so I'm looking to see if there's any bank work I can be trained in.

That's actually another option.

My ex career was NHS based so I have a wee pension pot there. Maybe looking for bank work as a healthcare support worker or something?

Have a look on your local FIS website for childminders. I'm a Childminder and although I don't, I know that many will cover shift work, weekends, overnights and extra hours at short notice.

I'm inclined to think option d - set yourself up as self employed- that is of course if theres something you have an interest in. You can get childcare that will fit in with what you want to do.

I wouldn't do option c and I'm dubious about option b on the basis that it's not your career BUT it will put something on your CV and it might lead to better things.

I think you need to consider the future and work out your long term goals. You could do all sorts muddling along but where do you want to be in 5 years time, 10 years time....

Check to see if either of your employers (yours and partners) offer a childcare scheme towards childcare costs.

Option B from me as well - part time jobs are few and far between so hang on to it. I appreciate nursery/childminder seems a lot for such a little one bit another couple of years down the line they will be reaping the benefits and getting an experience that with all the will in the world is difficult to replicate yourself (or if you can the you have more patience / energy than me haha)! Also when the funding kicks in at age 3 ish then you'll be back into making more than you pay in childcare so long term you'll be better off - lock in those part time hours x

Another Forces family - my OH is scheduled for tour 2 weeks after my due date so feel your pain!

Has your husband been along to his clerk to check your entitlements? I always find that everything is so dense and confusing that you never know until you ask.

Option B. I think funding can kick in as early as 2 if both parents are working. Working brings lots of benefits other than pay - pension, paid holiday, sick pay (so you don’t have to look after dc when you are ill, they go to nursery as normal and you go back to bed), social, a sense of being someone other than A’s mum.

A good nursery is so great for kids! They often come along leaps and bounds after going to nursery, imo. Plus it's great practise for school, they learn to be away from you for a short time and they learn how to socialise.

If you go for option B you may well get the 30 hours free childcare after she turns 3ish, and then after that school kicks in. So you only need to cope for a couple of years spending all your money on nursery. And during this time you can keep an eye out for other jobs. It's much easier to find a new job while employed and still building your CV etc!

@DannyWallace are you registered on Recruit for Spouses? You'll find lots of help and support on there plus the jobs advertised are all with military friendly companies who understand the issues that military spouses face.

It's also worth registering on Civil Service jobs and setting up an alert for jobs on your base. The beauty with a CS job is that you can follow hubby around without a break in your employment.

B

It is so, so, so hard to find a part time job once you've been out of work. You can always keep looking for something else if you want.

@DannyWallace such a good idea- I know people that work full time on bank, it's how I survived as a student. I also found that if a ward liked you they would book you directly and you can pick up shifts last min....also you can get as much for working a sat night/Sunday as you can 2 days in the week!

Do you live on a patch?

If so, ask around for a childminder, rather than nursery. Because one common choice for the non-military partner is to register as a childminder, so supply can be quite good. Usually cheaper than a nursery, and definitely more accommodating of odd hours (and flexibility round sudden deployments/arrivals home)

And yes, stay in employment of some sort. I'd go for weekday work (because I think insanely far ahead and weekdays will eventually fit with school) or see if younreally would get enough on HCP bank (good because transferable, and of course you may be moving frequently, depending on how mobile your DH needs to be on home postings)

I'd go for A. Not all jobs are worth making sacrifices for and you can always reconsider when DC is older and qualifies for those free hours.

I would look for work you could do that is related to your career. Babies don’t stay babies forever. A few days in nursery when you have a couple days off still plus your weekends is a really nice balance.

In 2 or 4 years time, your dh may get moved on, you will live somewhere with the potential to pursue work related to your career that you may enjoy. Your dc will be in school and you’ll probably want to do something more than be at home.

A lot can change surprisingly quickly. I would not close off those options. Being at home with a 6 month old is very different that at 18 months or 3 years in. Unless it really suits you to be at SAHM, you may very well be bored out of your mind. I know I found it quite difficult around 1 with both of mine because the monotony set it. At least if you keep your options open, you can always go back when you move, dc starts school, etc.

There is also tax free childcare (20% of nursery paid by government if you’re both working) and even when you don’t make much after that, that will be different in a few years time probably. I worked 3-4 days when I first went back after having my two. With the first, my salary just covered nursery. After the 2nd, I went into a position that was a significant pay rise and we are now quite comfortable, even paying for nursery. That wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gone back to work between them. It’s about the long game. If you can work part time and still have healthy work life balance, then it can be the best of both worlds.

www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare

Have a look at this - takes less than half an hour to set up including having to sort out government gateway. I’ve gone back to work recently and been pleasantly at how quick and easy this was to organise.

B (hands down!)

Have you actually done the sums? Remember that you can save money on childcare via the Tax Free Childcare scheme (which basically gives you £100 of childcare for the price of £80). Also consider that you will benefit from pension contributions (employee and employer). And you will be protecting your earning power - returning to work means you will maintain your skills / experience and will be able to get other (hopefully higher paid) jobs more easily in future. If you give up work now it might be difficult to find an equivalent part time job in future let alone a higher paid work.

FWIW I work 3 days a week, I returned to work when DS was 8 months old and he goes to nursery, it's been great for him and he loves it. I like my work/life balance too.

I would do Option A until you get the 15free hours when she’s 3. Then start somewhere part-time.....or if finances allow wait until she starts Reception and return part-time then. Enjoy the early years with her 😊

I'm thinking off on a different track here, but you mentioned your DH being of a lower rank and I wondered if he is taking advantage of what's offered and looking to progress upwards?

I work in a sector connected to the military. I think bank NHS work would be a longer term bet for you, especially for future moves.