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Original poster

Tips for (trying to) sleep next to a snorer

66 replies

DrMadelineMaxwell · 14/08/2019 01:12

Short of shoving a pillow on his noisy face.
Dh can drop off in an instant. And instantly starts snoring.

No spare room to decant to either.

OP posts:

LizzieSiddal · 14/08/2019 10:49

He wont go to the gp about snoring as is very adverse to doctors etc.
Wont take medicines or any sprays etc..
(He and I are both pretty sure hes on the spectrum somewhere).

He will be mightily affronted when I start sleeping alart from him and will see it as me using snoring as an excuse to put some distance between us. But I've warned him enough that's what I'm going to do when dd leaves home.

Bloody hell he is so selfish! He won’t do anything to stop him snoring but still expects you to sleep next to him, it he will be offended?

Why are you putting up with this?

Mine kept snoring and I told him if he didn’t do something it could mean the end of our marriage, as I was not willing to put up with it any more. I had earplugs and occasionally slept in the spare room, but I’d had enough of him not giving a shit about how it affected me.

He lost a stone and it solved the issue.

You need to put your beg girl pants in and tell him you mean business.

LizzieSiddal · 14/08/2019 10:50

HE needs to get it sorted, not you.

👏👏👏👏👏

SimonJT · 14/08/2019 11:00

It is annoying, but sometimes they can’t find a cause. Ex snored all night and no matter what position he was in, he was very slim (bordering on too thin at times), he didn’t have tonsils, no underbite etc. Sleep studies found nothing, those nose strips etc didn’t work. He had a snoring device made at the doctors but it made him make a really awful choking sound in his sleep, so I made him get rid as it was a scary sound to wake up to.

I just tried to sleep before him and not to stress myself out over it, I would also wake him up if I went to the loo etc so he could wait for me to go to sleep.

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Sleep

LiveInAHidingPlace · 14/08/2019 11:06

So he won't go to the doctor but he won't accept you sleeping in another room?

So you should just suffer for years with lack of sleep instead?

Yeah, sounds like a recipe for a healthy marriage right there!

user1480880826 · 14/08/2019 11:12

Your husband sounds extremely unreasonable. First you say it’s not within his control to stop it (Although, it almost certainly is), then you say:

He wont go to the gp about snoring as is very adverse to doctors etc.
Wont take medicines or any sprays etc..
(He and I are both pretty sure hes on the spectrum somewhere).

So rather than deal with the problem he will just make you suffer. What a nice guy!

Then you say:

He will be mightily affronted when I start sleeping alart from him and will see it as me using snoring as an excuse to put some distance between us.

Honestly he sounds extremely unpleasant. He won’t take any responsibility for HIS problem, he is more than happy for you to suffer AND he’s using emotional blackmail to try to stop you from sleeping elsewhere.

If I were you I would tell him to sod off and sleep on the floor downstairs until he’s prepared to find a solution and seek medical intervention.

justilou1 · 14/08/2019 11:16

Thank you, @BlueSkiesLies! I ended up losing my absolute shit at my husband in counselling about his selfishness regarding snoring. AND his feeling put out and trying to make me feel guilty for sleeping on the couch. Frankly, I was talking about the “Tontine Solution” with friends. (Tontine is an Australian pillow brand. Not sure if you have that one in the UK...)

LittleTopic · 14/08/2019 11:17

I find a kick to the shins works

itsabootyhole · 14/08/2019 11:30

OMG I'm following this thread for tips. Last night I didn't get any sleep until he's alarm went off at 5 for him to leave for work. I then sprawled out on the bed and slept until 9am. I'm knackered beyond belief! Aswell as loud snoring he also stops breathing in his sleep and rocks the bed so I'm not only listening to all this noise I'm feeling the bed move wtf?! It's dreadful I can't do another night it's killing me.

ELM8 · 14/08/2019 11:31

Why won't he go to the doctor?! My husband is really apologetic over his snoring, I wouldn't be able to deal with it if he refused to try and fix it! That sounds pretty selfish?!

lotusbell · 14/08/2019 11:38

I haven't slept with my OH for years and now I prefer sleeping on my own. However, first few years his bed was the sofa and i had the actual bed. Then we moved and new living needed a smaller sofa. He has the bed and I have a now very flattened fold out foam bed and sleep in my son's room. We have a 3rd room and it's my step daughters who is not living with us apart from weekend visits so I could sleep there but I feel it's not fair on her. Son is 12 so I cant sleep in his room forever. OH is like a fucking walrus. He is on the cusp of sleep apnoea and tried one of those machines except he hated it and gave up with it and wont try anything else. Thinks I need to get used to it so I probably need to phase in getting back in with him and getting used to it. We've been together 6 years. The snoring is horrendous.i anorexia too apparently so we're just delightful

lucylouis · 14/08/2019 12:22

Silicone earplugs all the way

Smotheroffive · 14/08/2019 13:26

So many here seem to be pandering to men who give zero fucks that they are destroying their dps sleep. It can destroy it for good to. From sleeping the other way up, to bedroom hopping,sleeping on the floor.

All the while the snorer continues to slumber noisily!

OverthinkingThis · 14/08/2019 13:38

Well obviously you're going to always be too tired for sex as you never get a decent night's sleep

Might prompt him to take some responsibility...

Whosorrynow · 14/08/2019 13:43

Maybe start wetting the bed on his side and tell him you can't help it if he complains?

Iggly · 14/08/2019 13:46

Wake him up every time he wakes you.

Tell him you find it unattractive and don’t care if he’s scared of the GP. What a coward.

Record him. I did that with my dh and he did go to the doctors and was referred. But it took years of fucking nagging.

Whosorrynow · 14/08/2019 13:52

Sleep is a basic fundamental need you can't function without it any more than you can without food or water
How would you feel if he was depriving you of food and water?

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