I feel dead people

[Bullyettime]

This happened for about the 100th time in my life last night and I don't really know how to explain it. It's happened both with people I know well who have died, those with whom I only have a vague connection and those I don't know at all.

Two days ago my friend's sister suddenly died. I did not know her sister well, maybe met her a couple of times. I would know her to identify her. Last night I was on the phone to my friend offering condolences. I then did some work and eventually went to sleep. I had a very troubled dream where her sister came to me and was holding a notebook and telling me something very important about what was in the notebook. In the dream I was trying to tune her out because I knew she was dead and it felt very uncomfortable. I woke suddenly out of the dream and I knew that her sister was in the room with me and was trying to get my attention.

I have no desire to communicate with dead people. I wouldn't even know how to do it or how to understand what the message is or what they want. I just know they are there, and they follow me around the house. The feeling is that of a presence and like I am walking through cobwebs. I also feel whatever emotion they are feeling and usually when it's as powerful as this (someone who has died more recently) it's usually a very strong emotion like fear, or agitation or desperation, which I find very uncomfortable.

To get rid of my friends' sister last night I had to cook and eat a large meal (at 3am) switch the TV on loud to a comedy channel and then walk outside for an hour. I then felt she had gone and was able to go back to sleep.

This was not a one off but has happened to me tens of times over the years (I am almost 40) and frequently in childhood where I was renowned for shouting into the air at nothing to "leave me alone."

I am definitely not someone who romanticizes or even thinks very much about death or the afterlife, or the death of people I don't know. I don't think of myself as a psychic or a healer or any of that mumbo jumbo. I am not one of those people who hears about the death of a friend's brother's cousin's cat and makes it all about me and starts lighting candles and holding vigils. I did not go into the collective shock/mourning/hysteria at the death of Princess Diana/Michael Jackson etc.
The reason I say all this is because I have entertained the possibility that maybe I am just someone with a very active imagination who dreams about what I have just been talking about or imagines that something I'd like to happen is happening (eg life after death). But you see, I have no interest in life after death, on a rational level it does not bother me whether there is an afterlife or not. I also don't tend to dream about the thing I have just been talking about. Outside of these dead people scenarios, my dreams are very abstract and forgettable.

But it just occurred to me last night, after it happened for what seemed like the hundredth time, that this may just be something which happens to me and that I have to learn to switch it off, and I don't know how.

Does anyone know how?

Maybe you are open to this kind of thing which is why she came to you. You can say please leave me alone, I don't want to be involved.

I think GP too.

I think if you took this to your GP they are likely to advise you to see a Spiritualist Church (certainly my GP would) so I'd consult them first

Pretty sure the GMC wouldn't advocate this approach.

Do they try to give you messages every time you dream of them?

I feel sorry for GPs. On MN, every fucker advises going to them as if they are some kind of wizard. Husband acting like a twat, get him to a GP? No longer fancy your partner? Take it to your GP. Money problems? The GP will magic it better. Everyone is depressed, needs meds, therapy, is psychotic, has anxiety, is alcoholic and the GP can solve that, too.

FFS. Just tell whatever it is to leave you alone! Learn to tune it out (get on YouTube to find some vid clips on this) and crack on with your life.

GPS can’t cure everything. But they can do something about psychotic symptoms.

She's not even psychotic, just bored with an over-active imagination. And at any rate, the 'help' available even if you truly do have a mental health condition is pathetic.

You can try saying loud and clear 'I am not up for being a messenger, please find someone else who wants to help you'.

I had friend who experienced similar - usually when driving! She did get rid of these sensations by herself.

You could also chat to a GP as sometimes just our brain chemistry can cause these type of experiences. Sceptics would say its all down to this. Keep an open mind, but look into possible medical reasons.

Hard enough to get a GP appointment for people taking up time with nonsense like this.

Hallucinations or feeling presences can be quite common and are not necessarily a sign of psychosis.

Someone else asked you- are you on beta blockers? Drugs like this have waking hallucinations/disturbed very vivid dreams/Night Hag and other types of night-time phenomenon as a side-effect. It's really common.

Do you mainly sense these presences/emotions or see things on waking or falling asleep? If so, they are likely to be hypnogogic or hynopompic hallucinations. Some people see spiders/dark things crawling, some people hear noises (door bell, shouting name very common), 'presences', being held down on the bed, the mind is very powerful and when you go between a waking and sleep state, your sense of what is real becomes distorted.

I don't think it's that unusual to get a sense of a dead person because that's what our culture tells us these things often are- although you did not actually see a figure of the sister from what I gather. It's also not surprising you feel fear or anxiety- this is unsettling stuff. I often dream of something very frightening, then wake up to see the frightening thing still there for a few seconds- then I feel frightened! This doesn't mean there really was a dead person trying to contact you. Up to 50% of bereaved people have seen, heard or felt a presence or 'sign' after their loved one has passed away- I wonder if you are just generalizing this a bit!

You can go to the GP by all means, but my experience is they are a bit clueless and don't even know that drugs like beta blockers have these side effects, might be worth a psychiatric screen but if you have been having these for years, they don't disturb you outside of when they are occurring and you have no other symptoms, I'm not sure you would be of interest to any psychiatrist.

Other things- stress makes night-time hallucinations worse, they also often occur in the first hour or two of falling asleep (so 12/1am which is why you then end up awake in the middle of the night).

Good luck with it all- I'd bet money that this is what's going on, but you could think of these things as supernatural if you prefer. My feeling is that if it were genuinely supernatural, the people would be much better at contacting you, all this vague fear and weird dreams and presence stuff feels to me very much like night-time hallucinations. If they happen all day as well, then do go to the GP.

What I mean is- I don't believe them to be supernatural, but if you did believe that, why are they so crap at making contact?. It's like why ghosts don't stay around to be photographed or properly interact with people.

Don't ring your friend.

I have experience of somebody deciding to "pass on a message". It felt like they were intruding on my grief.

Please also test your carbon monoxide detectors.

@BMW6
You need a new GP, no GP refers patients to a fuckin Spiritualist Church!!
I’m thinking a few PP here need referred to psychiatrist: “say I don’t want to be a messenger’
‘Tell her to leave’
Seriously get a grip, stop encouraging OP in this delusion.
I’m sure even those who believe in this nonsense don’t suggest eating a big meal to make them leave 🙄🙄

Where is the OP👻

My uncle passed in 2001 a few months back I had a dream that he was talking to me and my son who is 5. I wouldn't look at him directly in the dream cuz I didn't want my son to see him and be afraid (cuz he was dead). I don't remember what he was saying and I didn't see him when I woke up but if it's affecting your daily life I would agree with pp as speak to Ur gp.

You mean you had a dream.

I have had similar, and do believe that it can be something beyond what the rational brain can explain and that connections are not broken after death.

I would try and find your own meaning to what is happening, I'm not a fan of spiritualist churches and the vague messages that supposedly come from the other side.

The more you convince yourself this is an actual thing, the more solid it's going to feel to you. It is not real! You are having dreams! I've had some very vivid dreams that have left me feeling out of sorts until I go to bed again the next night, thinking 'why did my brain come up with something so hurtful to me, or disturbing or scary', but you don't feed into that feeling by convincing yourself it's real.
You don't need to see a GP unless you think these may be actual hallucinations, nor will a church of any kind be much help.
Take a step back and think rationally, do you really think that you're some conductor for the afterlife, or is it more likely that you have developed an issue after having a nightmare about a deceased person during your formative years so that now, when you hear of a death, your brain automatically dreams about this at night due to you being subconsciously fixated by it?

Practise better sleep hygiene ie. Lots of water, no coffee after 2pm, no large meal before bed etc. and try falling asleep with white noise, or a fan on, you're more likely to be in a deeper state of sleep and not notice nor remember your dreams. That's all they are, dreams. Not real.

Please do not bother your grieving friend with this, bad idea.

OP had a dream and woke up feeling uneasy.

Wether you believe it’s genuinely dead people or not that is hardly a ‘psychotic hallucination’ !