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Original poster

I feel dead people

70 replies

Bullyettime · 13/08/2019 21:58

This happened for about the 100th time in my life last night and I don't really know how to explain it. It's happened both with people I know well who have died, those with whom I only have a vague connection and those I don't know at all.

Two days ago my friend's sister suddenly died. I did not know her sister well, maybe met her a couple of times. I would know her to identify her. Last night I was on the phone to my friend offering condolences. I then did some work and eventually went to sleep. I had a very troubled dream where her sister came to me and was holding a notebook and telling me something very important about what was in the notebook. In the dream I was trying to tune her out because I knew she was dead and it felt very uncomfortable. I woke suddenly out of the dream and I knew that her sister was in the room with me and was trying to get my attention.

I have no desire to communicate with dead people. I wouldn't even know how to do it or how to understand what the message is or what they want. I just know they are there, and they follow me around the house. The feeling is that of a presence and like I am walking through cobwebs. I also feel whatever emotion they are feeling and usually when it's as powerful as this (someone who has died more recently) it's usually a very strong emotion like fear, or agitation or desperation, which I find very uncomfortable.

This was not a one off but has happened to me tens of times over the years (I am almost 40) and frequently in childhood where I was renowned for shouting into the air at nothing to "leave me alone."

I am definitely not someone who romanticizes or even thinks very much about death or the afterlife, or the death of people I don't know. I don't think of myself as a psychic or a healer or any of that mumbo jumbo. I am not one of those people who hears about the death of a friend's brother's cousin's cat and makes it all about me and starts lighting candles and holding vigils. I did not go into the collective shock/mourning/hysteria at the death of Princess Diana/Michael Jackson etc.
The reason I say all this is because I have entertained the possibility that maybe I am just someone with a very active imagination who dreams about what I have just been talking about or imagines that something I'd like to happen is happening (eg life after death). But you see, I have no interest in life after death, on a rational level it does not bother me whether there is an afterlife or not. I also don't tend to dream about the thing I have just been talking about. Outside of these dead people scenarios, my dreams are very abstract and forgettable.

But it just occurred to me last night, after it happened for what seemed like the hundredth time, that this may just be something which happens to me and that I have to learn to switch it off, and I don't know how.

Does anyone know how?

OP posts:

Mileysmiley · 14/08/2019 06:29

I think all of us have a sixth sense and some people tune into it whereas others think it is a sign of being unwell. You know you sometimes think of someone and then phone rings and it is the person you were thinking about. Coincidence? Maybe ... Maybe not...

rosesandcashmere · 14/08/2019 06:31

I don't believe in any of the supernatural stuff. I do believe it's the way your brain deals with death. Let it happen or maybe have some counselling to look into alternative coping mechanisms to re-train your brain to react diffferently.

NutRoastNancy · 14/08/2019 06:31

Please don’t trouble your friend with any of this bullshit.

See your gp.

WitsEnding · 14/08/2019 06:34

Ask them to leave, be friendly but not encouraging, Perhaps suggest they find someone who's gone before.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 14/08/2019 06:37

Are you on some beta blockers by any chance?

MaverickSnoopy · 14/08/2019 06:40

I agree that you need to see the GP. You need to know if you need help.

I have myself experienced some unexplained things over the years. The one that sticks out in my mind was when I was on my way to work, had just got off the bus and I saw MIL. She was about 5 or 6 people in front of me and looked me straight in the eye and stopped walking and just stared at me, which I thought odd and called out saying hello, then she turned and started walking away at high speed. I started walking after her and she kept looking round at me. This went on for a minute or two and she suddenly turned a corner - I followed and she was gone but it was a dead end with no doors. Later that day we found out that she'd died a couple of days before. Other odd things have happened over the years. One day about a year later dh and I were in a queue and the man in front was asking for his wife, which was the same name as MIL. MIL had a very very unique name. Coincidence of course but with the other odd things that have happened i just find it slightly more than odd. I dont read into it though or think about it. I dont believe in spirits hanging around but the more odd stuff that happens the more I can see why other people do believe.

There is every chance that you are a very sensitive person with a vivid imagination but you do need to see a gp. It's been going on since childhood so I'd mention that too.

Cuddlysnowleopard · 14/08/2019 08:03

I read the OP and knew everyone would say "GP!" etc.

No idea whether there is a scientific reason for this, but it's happened to me twice. I saw a relative at a church, during his funeral - I couldn't actually"see" him, but I could see a light, and knew it was him. I asked my DH to look, but he couldn't see anything.

Then, a few nights later, I dreamed about him, and he said he'd wanted to see who had turned up at the funeral. He used a pet name for his wife that I didn't know he used. I did phone her, in case it wasn't a load of rubbish, and she said that her daughter had already had the same experience, and it was his pet name for her.

So, no idea whether it is your imagination, or something else, but I do get it.

BertrandRussell · 14/08/2019 08:17

OP- your first step should definitely be your GP. It’s very easy for symptoms like this to spiral out of control- please get the help you need.

mysteryfairy · 14/08/2019 08:48

Do not tell your friend about the notebook. I would have been disgusted and furious to hear anything like this from a friend when I had a bereavement and if friend is like me would almost certainly spell the end of the friendship plus worse add to her grief.

TheYeaSayer · 14/08/2019 09:45

Interesting question asked above... have you always known already that the person had died before you saw them, or have you seen someone and found out later that they’d died?

I agree with PP who say don’t bother your friend with this. Also, perhaps discuss with GP.

TheYeaSayer · 14/08/2019 09:46

I saw a relative at a church, during his funeral - I couldn't actually"see" him, but I could see a light, and knew it was him. I asked my DH to look, but he couldn't see anything.

With respect, how did you “know” it was him?

Bookworm4 · 14/08/2019 09:50

To get rid of my friends' sister last night I had to cook and eat a large meal (at 3am) switch the TV on loud to a comedy channel and then walk outside for an hour. I then felt she had gone and was able to go back to sleep.
I’m sorry but I laughed at this, sounds like you just woke up with the munchies🤣🤣
HAD to eat a large meal???

birdling · 14/08/2019 10:29

Why on earth would your friend's sister, who you barely knew, choose to come and visit you?

Mereke · 14/08/2019 15:06

To echo others talk to your gp. Also please don't tell your friend about your dream, it would be inappropriate, she's mourning her sister, she doesn't need to hear about the ops dreams.

LoafofSellotape · 14/08/2019 15:11

It's unsettling when people you know or even vaguely know die and common to dream about it.

Which is what happened.

Drabarni · 14/08/2019 15:16

You sound very sensitive, and it must have scared you. Whatever you decide please don't tell your friend, it will be the last thing she needs to hear.

floribunda18 · 14/08/2019 15:24

So, no idea whether it is your imagination, or something else, but I do get it

I do too, but what you experienced seems far less intrusive and less upsetting to you than what the OP has experienced. Seeing a light, and dreaming of a dead person wouldn't make me suggest to someone that they need to see a GP, but it isn't something mystical and supernatural either. What the OP seems to be experiencing are intrusive and upsetting hallucinations, several times a year. The GP can suggest drugs or therapy, or whether something like yoga and or mindfulness and other lifestyle changes might be enough.

tierraJ · 14/08/2019 15:39

OP it sounds like you are having hallucinations & delusions.
I too think you should definitely see your gp with a view to a psychiatrist referral as you may require anti psychotic medication, I actually take this medication for schizoaffective disorder & it works well.

tierraJ · 14/08/2019 15:41

Not saying that you too have schizoaffective disorder of course!!

But as these symptoms are distressing you then you definitely need to get medical help.

BMW6 · 14/08/2019 17:21

I think if you took this to your GP they are likely to advise you to see a Spiritualist Church (certainly my GP would) so I'd consult them first

KurriKurri · 14/08/2019 17:39

think if you took this to your GP they are likely to advise you to see a Spiritualist Church (certainly my GP would) so I'd consult them first

I think it is extremely unlikely that anysaneGp would advise someone presenting with possible hallucinations/sleep disruption to go to a spiritualist church. if my GP did it I'd assume they were barking mad and dangerously incompetent and change Go immediately.

No one on the internet can diagnose what is causing these effects OP. I'd have thought something 'supernatural' would be very very low down on the list of possible explanations. Your GP may well be able to help you - auditory and visual hallucinations are quite common (I have them - usually when stressed or very tired) they have a physical scientific explanation. It is possible that you were upset about your friends sister dying and it was foremost in your brain so you dreamt about it, But there maybe another cause as you have had such experiences before. There are very many causes of disruption to the brain's normal pattern.
My neice has epilepsy and she has some extremely strange and bewildering hallucinatory experiences that are quite upsetting - all due to her epilepsy.

KurriKurri · 14/08/2019 17:39

'change GP'

BertrandRussell · 14/08/2019 17:41

“I think if you took this to your GP they are likely to advise you to see a Spiritualist Church (certainly my GP would) so I'd consult them first”

Blimey. I advise you to change GPs immediately!

tierraJ · 14/08/2019 17:42

I agree a good gp would not tell you to just go to church!

I saw a scary face in my bedding & my gp immediately signed me off work for 2 weeks with breakthrough psychotic symptoms due to stress.

Whosorrynow · 14/08/2019 17:46

breakthrough psychotic symptoms
that sounds like a 'REM intrusion' my feeling is that calling it a symptom of psychosis is alarmist unless there are other factors that point to psychosis?

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